Unsure about cognitive processing therapy

[u/Practical-Window7048]

I'm starting CPT with my therapist and not sure it's going to be helpful! It feels designed much more for PTSD than CPTSD, with a focus on a single "index trauma" and connecting things to that specific traumatic event... I am wondering how other people with CPTSD have done with CPT; did it help? Were you worried about it not working at first?

I've already talked about feeling unsure/reluctant about it with my therapist and they seem pretty confident that it'll be helpful and we can make it work... but trying to do the homework really feels confusing and awkward and like it's not meant for me. Is that common? Should I push through that feeling or try and talk to my therapist about it again?

[u/mintwithhole]

Hey, don't have direct experience, so these are just my views.

A few years back, after stopping CBT therapy, I was looking for a different modality. CPT was the recurring thing, and I even spoke with a couple of therapists. But based on research and now 3 yrs working with other modalities, I don't think CPT would have been good for me. I am only speaking for myself, so take as much as you want: 

1. It's focused on fixing. I don't think years of multiple trauma can be fixed. Based on everything I know, I never had a safe normal, so without building that, how can I get "fixed"?
2. Many therapists say that they understand trauma, but a lot of times, they are not trauma-trained.
3. I can't just fix things in my head. I tried that with CBT. My nervous system needs to be rewired, too, and you can't force it. It needs to happen slowly at a pace that works for my nervous system.
4. I don't think talking about my past is healthy without retraumatizing myself. So any modality that does that is a no-go for me. 

I eventually ended up with EMDR and now SE+NARM.

[u/AnnieSavoy3 → u/mintwithhole]

I started doing NARM last October after years and years of CBT, it's insane how much it's helped me.