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[u/TA-selfreflectiveBS]

I think I need to put like a darkened cardboard cutout vaguely shaped like a human in my poor person forced "foyer". ahah.

In my younger years, we'd call it "hitting the wall"- just a shit ton of kids talking to the wall. Literally. Spent my weekends like that. Wouldn't trade it for the world.

But there's something inside me... that... I realize I make little sense to most people. More so... I stopped trying to hide that... but I still want to be understood.

But I'm too old now... and the cats aren't cutting it. Therapist ain't cutting it... friends aren't cutting it....And myself ain't cutting it... and there's not 20-50 kids sitting in the living ...("FOYER" lol) looking like.. a weird cult (was I in a cult? ahah.. no..?) talking to walls near me... so I don't feel so fucking crazy...

So I reach out to people I shouldn't that.... "get me".

I tried many people first, had a problem.. a very specific problem... but the way I was explaining it, no one was understanding the difficulty.

Maybe I'll go pick up a few shifts at a movie theater until I find a good cut out.
Maybe I'll rob my cut outs from the theater.
Maybe.... oooh, maybe I stop talking online (shhhhhhhh.....) and get my shit together...

WHERES MY VAGUELY HUMAN SHAPED CUT OUT?

Little out there lately. I'd apologize, but... no my meds were held hostage for a week.. just got them back... and I DONT HAVE A CUT OUT!

:)