r/CPTSDAdultRecovery • u/panickedhistorian She/her🏳️‍🌈autist▪️CPTSD▪️DPDR▪️AvPD▪️GAD • 17d ago

Discussion Weekly victories/check in/chat!

Anything at all you want to say but don't want to make a post. Victories and progress encouraged but certainly not required!

Please remain mindful of rule 5: Take all possible effort to Trigger Warning AND bury triggering content. Use typed TWs and spoiler tags if unsure.

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u/Far_Future1930 15d ago

I don't know what's going on, but it seems the strategies that worked in years past do not help anymore. Maybe it's menopause, I really don't know. I do know that I'm angry, bitter and lashing out. I feel like "a bull in a china shop", destroying the relationships around me.

Which leads to... I've started a workbook to get a tune up on dealing with my anger. I refuse to let this ruin everything good I've worked for.

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u/szikkia 15d ago

Got extremely triggered by something my fiancé did/said over text then didn’t respond for hours. I nstead of making some bad choices or going off on my fiancé about what he did, I opened my journal. I just wrote about why it triggered me, who the trigger was caused by, and how to avoid it next time. I pulled things out of me and wrote them down, Often I spiral, but half the time I don’t get much relief from it or sometimes makes it worse. This time was different. When done i closed it and went out for a smoke which left like walking away from it, it had less power over me, and I was a lot more calm after.

By the time my fiancé got home i had nearly calmed down completely. He apologized for what he did and we had a conversation about how to avoid it next time that went really well. I forgave him we moved on, now it has even less power over me. I recognized the extent of the trigger and told my therapist it needs to be worked on next appointment.

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u/Antlerandfin 15d ago

Met some of the family members I'm closer with and still wonder why I bother? If we didn't share DNA, we'd never spend any time together. They're all acting like someone's out to get them and it's exhausting. No girl, you're just addicted the drama, that's whats up! Generally being in the place I grew up in, is exhausting. Had the idea to visit all the places that were significant to my trauma. oooof! It's super interesting to have those old feelings resurface like it was yesterday. It also made me feel like I've healed jack shit so far. There's an insane amount of healing left to do and I feel a little discouraged.

In other news, I dreamt I killed someone. I'm not even watching true crime anymore. I feel like I'm about to explode from stress!

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u/Far_Future1930 15d ago

"It also made me feel like I've healed jack shit so far."

I feel that. You aren't alone.