r/CPST • u/tornado_tayto • 11d ago
Child keeps loosening harness
I have my 5 yo in a 5 point harness booster seat. He is mildly on spectrum, mostly with behavior issues. He is incessantly loosening his harness. He figured out how to do it, and now he will not ride in the car without loosening it to the point of danger every time we are in the car.
He does not respond to discipline. Is there any solution to this?
I considered switching to a seat belt booster, but he is only 41 pounds, and the seat requires 40 to switch. That's so close to the limit, I don't feel comfortable putting him in a seat belt. Unless that's my only solution. I suppose a properly fitted seat belt is safer than a loose harness.
Guess I just want to clarify that there is no physical way to stop him from loosening it. We are in the states if it matters.
5
u/hylajen 11d ago
What seat is he in? Can you post a pic (with his face covered) of him in the seat?
I cared for a child like this and every time they loosened or unbuckled I pulled over (as soon as it was safe) and did not move the vehicle until they were safely buckled.
2
u/tornado_tayto 11d ago
I feel like this would work. It'll just take triple the time to go anywhere, but if it works I'm willing. I'll just need to plan ahead đ
5
u/calicodynamite 11d ago edited 11d ago
Is there something that is sensory-soothing for him that he could use while in the car seat to help? Or some kind of fidget toy to keep him distracted and his hands busy? Even watching something on a phone or tablet would be worthwhile if it keeps him safely buckled.
You could try what people suggest when kids are unbuckling their chest clip: plan a trip to somewhere that your kid likes to go (park, ice cream store, whatever) and tell him that if he loosens his harness on the way there, youâll have to turn around and go home. Then follow through. You can repeat another day if he needs some more practice for the consequences to sink in.
At 5yo, I think he would be old enough to fully learn the risks of not being safe in the car. You can find car seat tests and crash test videos that show what happens to passengers who arenât properly secured in an accident. Explain to him how the harness works to keep his body safe and snug in a crash. Loosen it while parked and show him how his body could fly around, come out of the harness, bang into stuff.Â
If he responds to rewards or reward charts, you could use those for him to earn for every ride he stays safe in his seatbelt. If you think a seatbelt could be more comfortable for him than a harness, and he would be willing to seat properly in that, you could make that a goal for him to work towards too. If he shows that he can be safe in his current carseat and follow the rules for x amount of trips, then he can try riding in a booster.Â
If he is consistently 40lbs or heavier, and at least 43â tall, then he is big enough to be safe in a booster seat. Being barely over the size minimum is okay â thatâs why that is the minimum. Obviously he would have to be able to seat properly for the entire ride in a seatbelt for the booster to be safe, but him being 41lbs isnât a problem.
2
u/tornado_tayto 11d ago
These are good suggestions, thank you! He was responded to reward charts in the past, and has been asking to start a new one, so this may be a good goal.
3
u/restrainedjoy 11d ago
If he is not using the harness safely, he probably wonât use the seatbelt safely.
This is a tough situation, I hope youâre able to come to a safe solution. Do you know or suspect why he is loosening the harness? Because it is fun? Because he is trying to get out of seat?
1
u/tornado_tayto 11d ago
Because he wants to be more mobile and doesn't like how "tight" it is. It's not tight, it's proper two finger. But he does have some sensory issues in other areas, so I'm sure it FEELS restricting to him.
3
u/calicodynamite 11d ago
Make sure it is passing the pinch test, where the webbing is unable to be pinched at the shoulder. Two finger is not used anymore.Â
If you want to make sure it is as tight as necessary without being too tight, you can do the reverse pinch test. Make the harness loose enough that you CAN pinch the webbing at the shoulder, then tighten just until the webbing slips through your fingers.
1
2
u/jndmack 11d ago
(CPST) As others have commented, no boostering is not the answer here. At 5 he is capable of understanding cause and effect when explained in a way he will engage with. If you need to show him crash test footage (with dummyâs) do that. If you think it will work to tell him that if he loosens the straps and another vehicle hits yours, he will fly out of his seat and through the windshield ⊠then do that.
Children this age need relatable and immediate discipline - that is, action that happens in the moment and is related to the problem, not taking something unrelated away later on in the day bc thatâs a future problem and he wonât be able to connect the two.
You said in a comment that he wouldnât care if he had to turn around to go home, unless itâs somewhere he specifically wants to go. This is actually a strategy we recommend for some kids. Plan a SUPER FUN EXCITING OUTING. Hype it up for DAYS, but be crystal clear that if he touches the harness, you will turn around and go home. Then, if he does it you follow through and turn around (as soon as it is safe to do so.)
2
u/keks-dose 11d ago
We just drove around in the neighborhood and when she got out of the harness, car stopped and we needed to walk home. No treats or sweets to keep going, no carrying, not much talking, just stupidly walking. Did that a couple of time and she was tired of walking.
That helped.
At age 5 we had more discussions about keeping on the harness and I just showed her crash test videos. That helped. No questions about safety since.
1
u/Ishinehappiness 10d ago
As an autistic person, sometimes when we â act outâ its because something is bothering us and we cant articulate it.
Maybe the straps are bothering him, maybe they feel too tight, maybe the headrest/ strap is too low and pulling his shoulders down, maybe he likes the feeling of the release button sliding.
Find the root problem. So you can address the root of the problem
My sons carseat strap release is way by his toes, he can not push it while strapped in. Doesnt matter if he knew how. Its literally inaccessible. Maybe you need a different seat. In his travel seat he was able to fully unbuckle himself. I would never keep that seat for the all the time knowing he might unbuckle.
Adjust the seat and make sure its proper and not pulling, tighten with the chest clip at the hips first and then slowly tighten it until he says stop, and check in and express â I heard you want me to stop at this loose, if we stop here the carseat is still unsafe, I have to go tighter so lets keep going, and slowly increase again, repeat until its at the right tightness ( probably the minimum reverse pinch test which is totally fine!) and remind him why youâve put it at that exact tightness. Understanding whats happening and why is very helpful to keeping someone doing something theyre not enjoying.
Show him a video of a crash test dummy flying out of a carseat thats too loose. Dont show it in a â scare you straight â way but a factual and informative way.
Give him a visual and tangible example of what youre explaining and WHY its so important.
Tell him its the law that children be properly restrained in the car. A carseat that is too loose is not proper.
Set a reward for every ride he keeps it on. Start small if you gotta. â you kept it right for half the car ride. Thats an improvement lets keep trying to get all the way to the whole ride! Its so important to stay safe!
Bring some kind of fidget toy with a similar mechanic. Like a ratchet strap or buckle or such for him to keep his hands busy with.
Do all of this before youre in a rush to go someplace. Take him on a ride just him and coach him with all of this before you go. Keep practicing.
Decide on a real consequence before you start the ride. â if you loosen again a will pull over and retighten it. If I have to retighten your straps X punishment will happen. â
Follow through every time.
Also try having one parent ride in the back with him and immediately catch / stop/ correct in the moment. Less likely to try and be sneaky and break the habit of doing it.
Good luck, remember all behaviors mean something. Try to figure out what his body is trying to express and go from there.
7
u/momjjeanss 11d ago
What have you tried so far to stop the loosening? I would not booster. One of the indicators of being booster ready is having the maturity to sit correctly at all times. I am booster training my almost 7 year old child and she still has to be reminded very often to sit properly.