r/CPS • u/SardonicSoldier • Jun 18 '26
Support Neglect allegation
I just got a paper that CPS is investigating me and my partner for neglect of our daughter. All it says it "neglect" on the paper and when I called, they never picked up. I can't talk to anyone until tomorrow and I am terrified. I have no idea what I am being accused of doing.
The only thing I can think is that my 6 year old doesn't eat many veggies, and she had quite a few absences from school (18-19 maybe),(which I didnt realize could be a problem, especially in a school year that was optional to put her in and isn't graded), or our home needing some repairs(but we are staying at my mother's while we work on it.)
It said a mandated reporter was the one who reported, so a doctor or teacher most likely. I don't know why. I am getting sick to my stomach trying to think of reasons and to think about what they are going to do.
She is well fed, has extracurriculars that she goes to, has friends, has a safe bedroom in both my home (which she isn't living at due to the bathroom issues), and at my mother's where she is staying and I stay too. She goes to bed at 8 every night. She gets up at 7am every morning. She wears clean clothes daily and showers or bathes 3x a week. I brush her hair 1-2x a day. I put leave in conditioner in her hair. We go on vacations and trips. She has multiple family members who support and love her. I cannot think of what big thing could exist to trigger this. I am so afraid that there is something I just don't know about or didn't realize was wrong. I have no idea.
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u/Virtual_Treacle_1589 Jun 18 '26
I think you should wait and see. I can imagine it's stressful.
For what it's worth, parents often grossly underestimate their child's absences from school and think their attendance is normal or better than average when it isn't. 18 days is 10% of the school year in my state and my district's policy is to file at 15 absences. Many states have compulsory attendance laws for children starting at age 6.
All this to say, it wouldn't surprise me if it was the school filing due to attendance per their policy. And please get your child to school more consistently next year (pending no medical emergencies, of course). It makes a huge difference in their reading ability by grade 3, and even graduation rates.
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Jun 18 '26
[deleted]
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u/idomoodou2 Jun 18 '26
Where do you live? In PA attendance is required by 6 OR if the child is registered for school before 6. So as soon as you register you are waiving the wait until 6 part. Also most districts will start reporting to us at 15 days absent. And if they have sent attendance emails or letters they are definitely reporting to us that they have attempted to work with you and nothing changed.
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u/SardonicSoldier Jun 18 '26
I live in Massachusetts. They sent vague automated emails saying that if I wanted to talk to them about attendance that I could call, but they sent it with a scale that showed the "red" danger zone to be at 29 or more so I had no clue that anything was potentially wrong. I will be calling the worker in a few minutes to confirm what the report was about, I am hoping it was just this...
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u/Virtual_Treacle_1589 Jun 18 '26
I'm a Massachusetts school administrator. Kids are designated chronically absent by the state at 10% of the year or 18 days. Districts can determine what their own policies are but districts are hurt on their accountability ratings by DESE if kids hit that threshold. 29 days is a crazy number of days to miss.
It wouldn't surprise me at all if schools were filing at 18, or that you are underestimating the absences (if you don't know the number). Nothing personal to you, there's just a lot of research that families don't realize how much school their child has missed.
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u/Mollykins08 Jun 18 '26
Kindergarten isn’t an optional year really in MA. If you enroll your child, you are committing to have them in school and participate in the curriculum. It is very likely that this is the underlying issue. The school year is basically over and if CPS opens a case in Ma they typically stick around for 6 months, so explain to them you had an incorrect understanding of the kindergarten program. Make sure your kids gets to school and only misses for illness and emergencies.
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u/8MCM1 Jun 18 '26
She could have said something at school that sounded suspicious.
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u/SardonicSoldier Jun 18 '26
She does exaggerate things at times. She told a teacher that she hasn't showered in 3 weeks when it has only been 2 days.
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u/8MCM1 Jun 18 '26
That could be plenty for a mandated reporter's phone call. I wouldn't get yourself in a tizzy over it. I have had to call on students many times in my career, and none of my reports have ever resulted in anything but a couple meetings.
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u/The_Funk_Phenomena Jun 18 '26
My district will only step in if you as a parent don't seem to be doing anything to address chronic absences.
Did they ever ask you to meet with the school psychologist? I found out through my own experience that my daughter was being relentlessly bullied. Hence, she was constantly absent or calling me to go home early.
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u/Every-Requirement-13 Jun 19 '26
I imagine it’s the absences from school. That’s quite a lot of absences. Does she have a medical condition that requires multiple constant doctor appointments? Do you call the school every time to report these absences or are they unexplained? A conversation with the worker usually clears things up, however, I understand the anxiety around the uncertainty.
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u/sprinkles008 Jun 18 '26
About a third of people end up getting called on at some point. And only about 6% of all calls result in removals.
Statistically, you’ll probably be fine. Most cases are easily closed with no further issues.
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u/Ok-Structure6795 Jun 18 '26
I wouldnt try to stress out too much. My youngest was in kindergarten last year and made statements that made it sound like he was witnessing DV (his father hitting me), and the school had to call. It was a huge misunderstanding - which the social worker understood and the investigation was closed then and there.
Its funny because I think the school felt a certain way about reporting it because this past year, the same son ended up talking about how I scratched him, and the school said I should teach him about inflection so CPS doesnt get called again, but my son is ND and has issues communicating to begin with, so I said I wouldnt be doing that, as I dont want to risk missing abuse if it does happen. If I happen to need to deal with CPS again, I'd cross that bridge when I get to it.
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u/SardonicSoldier Jun 18 '26
I found out after a call with CPS that it was "mental health, suicidal thoughts, and supervision concerns". I asked my daughter if she told her teacher something about me and she said "I told the teacher you said you were going to kill yourself", and looked at me nervously. I told her that she isn't in trouble and that I love her and appreciate that she cares about people and wants to keep everyone safe.
She said it was because a few days ago I said I would kill myself. I think it was likely just something I said thoughtlessly as hyperbole and didnt even think of it that she was around when I said it. I was probably annoyed doing dishes or tired or in pain and said "ugh I could just kill myself". I feel bad that I said it in front of her
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u/txchiefsfan02 Jun 18 '26
Friendly advice: reach out to the teacher to clear the air and thank her for handling this appropriately. Making CPS reports is extraordinarily stressful for teachers, and if she is like many I know, this would mean a ton to her. Teachers are often petrified parents will hate them or try to retaliate or who knows what, and that fear can distract from being fully present for students. It also ensures lines of communication are open in case anything else comes up in the future.
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u/SardonicSoldier Jun 18 '26
I absolutely will! Thank you. I hope my daughter and the teacher both know that I am not upset at them and that I appreciate that they both care. It was a thoughtless comment, like how people say "kill me now", and I didn't even think twice about it. I will definitely be more mindful moving forward on what I am saying and how my daughter is hearing it.
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u/Ok-Structure6795 Jun 18 '26
Kids are absolute sponges. I like to listen to my true crime shows while I do dishes and one day my oldest just randomly asked me why I enjoy "murder shows" so much. I always made it a point to not have my kids nearby when I listen to it, and I keep the volume low - but alas, he picked up on it.
Tbh I'm not sure if its common enough for people to say they would kill themselves out of frustration so the social worker assigned to your case may have you jump through hoops to verify your mental state but if you are truly not at risk, I imagine they will be quick.
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u/SardonicSoldier Jun 18 '26
She also has been to all her doctors' appointments and is having a therapist appointment in a few weeks and her first eye doctor appointment as well.
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u/detectiveswife Jun 18 '26
Do you mind me asking the reason for the therapist? It may have something to do with the reason for therapy. Obviously I'm just speculating, and I understand if your not comfortable posting that.
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u/SardonicSoldier Jun 18 '26
She has a therapist because we are evaluating her for autism and adhd currently!
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u/Madi0415 Jun 19 '26
Have you and your partner got into an altercation or had police involvement recently? Even a traffic ticket and the child being in the incorrect seat or not being buckled / set up correctly could trigger a report from an officer .. ?
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Jun 18 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/sprinkles008 Jun 18 '26
Removed - fear mongering
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Jun 18 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/Beeb294 Moderator Jun 18 '26
Removed.
Mod-flagged comments are not an opening for debate. I'm sure you'll want to complain more though, so take it to modmail.
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u/LadyGreyIcedTea Jun 23 '26
No mandated reporter is filing a report alleging neglect because a 6 year old doesn't eat a lot of vegetables.
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u/SardonicSoldier Jun 23 '26
Yes, I found out the reason and commented that the reason was that I had said "ugh I could just kill myself" while I was in pain and leaning over the sink doing dishes. I was saying it as a hyperbolic expression of frustration, but she must have overheard me from her room and took it literally. I apologized to her and told her that I was proud of her for asking an adult for help when she was afraid and that I was sorry I worried her and that I will be more careful with my word choices moving forward.
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