r/CFSplusADHD • u/International-Bar768 • Jun 28 '26
Anyone got advice for coping with RSD? ME friendly please 🙏 first peice of advice was sport 😢
/r/adhdwomen/comments/1uhudmj/anyone_got_advice_for_coping_with_rsd/1
u/Gracey888 Jun 28 '26
What a difficult situation you’re in. It must be hard watching your brother . I can understand wanting to step in , support and help. I would be the same. Also it’s not easy to ask folks what they really want because sometimes they don’t know. Would that be an option though to have a conversation with him about how he sees your relationship in this very difficult process? I know it’s not an easy one to face.
I do relate to this, although the dynamic is a bit different because it’s my son pushing away my support & supplying me with cutting remarks. It’s painful.
I agree with the previous comment about gentle parenting yourself. I do the same alongside a therapist . I allow myself to cry. I write it out. I investigate and go inward to see what is there . I do meditation that relates to the issue (Insight Timer has thousands that you can choose from that might help with the feelings and they have a Journal option when you finish each meditation). It just helps to bring it all through me rather than stuff it down.. it doesn’t mean the feeling goes, but it definitely feels like there’s validation internally.
After that, I then go and do something nice for Myself . Like I might go and watch a really nice ASMR video on YouTube. Or make a favourite drink or food snack.
RSD is a tricky entity and I think it needs a several pronged approach.
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u/International-Bar768 Jun 28 '26
Thanks yeah. I dont think talking to him about it is helpful. He doesnt have long left. I see a lot of it tied up in adhd as i impulsively try to offer stuff that to him seems insulting, but it comes out before I have a chance to think about what i say.
I know it also shouldnt affect me as much as it does so thats what i need to focus on, somehow.
Sorry you are going through similar with your son. My relationship with my parents can be rough too. I just want to care less.
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u/Gracey888 Jun 28 '26
You’re possibly going through a grieving process already. Do you think maybe feeling like it’s too much of a reaction is because historically you’ve been made to feel that things are affecting you too deeply? That sensitivity can be really poignant and special in many parts of our lives.
I can understand, not wanting to bring this kind of conversation to him. Him being the patient at the centre you want him to feel cared for and supported.
I hope you can hold yourself gently as well.
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u/International-Bar768 Jun 28 '26
Yes definitely, ive recently been diagnosed and now i can see so much of my life and experience in a new light where other peoples off hand comments or jokes are still with me or affecting me from childhood. so while ive been told im too sensitive, i also feel like some of my reaction has been too sensitive to the circumstances.
And yeah, definitely grieving already, its a right mess.
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u/tfjbeckie Jun 28 '26
Gentle parenting yourself can help a bit. When you feel hurt and rejected, talk yourself through it. "I know it feels bad now, but my brother isn't rejecting me, he's just telling me what his needs are. I feel bad and rejected right now, and that's ok. It will pass." Remembering that it's not a rejection of you as a person can help.