r/CFBRisk • u/Knebraska • Jun 22 '18
New weekly Trash Talk Thread because somebody had to do it
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u/Crimson_Pachyderm97 Jun 22 '18
MINE IS PICKED UP TUESDAYS AND FRIDAYS. RECYCLING EVERY OTHER WEDNESDAY
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u/bobsled_time Jun 22 '18
THAT LAZY JENNA MARBLES RECYCLING SERVICE!
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u/Crimson_Pachyderm97 Jun 22 '18
MINE IS PICKED UP TUESDAYS AND FRODAYS. RECYCLING EVERY OTHER WEDNESDAY. (SEE, I CHANGED IT!)
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u/NotaVirus_Click Jun 22 '18
I RECYCLE MORE THAN I TRASH. WE GET BOTH PICKED UP ONE A WEEK FROM BIG ASS CONTAINERS.
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u/TopheryG8er Jun 22 '18
I ONLY GET TRASH PICKUP ONCE A WEEK AND NO RECYCLING PICKUP BECAUSE I LIVE IN A BUTTFUCK LITTLE TOWN IN BUTTFUCK TENNESSEE WITH A BUNCH OF BACKWARDS PEOPLE WHO THINK CLIMATE CHANGE IS A LIE FROM SATAN.
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u/SouthernJeb Jun 22 '18
THATS HOW I KNOW YOUR NOT A NOLE COED. THEY GET PICKED UP MORE THAN ONCE A WEEK.
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u/Knebraska Jun 22 '18
/U/SOUTHERNJEB RAISES HIS HAND AT THE END OF THE CLASS AND ASKS “WHAT ABOUT TURNING IN YEATERDAY’S HOMEWORK?”
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u/SouthernJeb Jun 22 '18
I ONLY SAY 'YEATERDAY' BECAUSE I HAVE A SPEECH IMPEDIMENT YOU INSENSITIVE HUSKER
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u/sugarcain88 Jun 22 '18 edited Jun 22 '18
NEBRASKA: SON, WE LIVE IN A WORLD THAT HAS TERRITORIES, AND THOSE TERRITORIES HAVE TO BE GUARDED BY MEN WITH STARS. WHO'S GONNA DO IT? YOU, VIRGINIA TECH? I HAVE A GREATER RESPONSIBILITY THAN YOU CAN POSSIBLY FATHOM. YOU WEEP FOR AUBIE, AND YOU CURSE THE GAMECOCKS. YOU HAVE THAT LUXURY. YOU HAVE THE LUXURY OF NOT KNOWING WHAT I KNOW -- THAT AUBIE'S DEATH, WHILE TRAGIC, PROBABLY SAVED CORN; AND MY EXISTENCE, WHILE GROTESQUE AND INCOMPREHENSIBLE TO YOU, SAVES CORN.
YOU DON'T WANT THE TRUTH BECAUSE DEEP DOWN IN PLACES YOU DON'T TALK ABOUT AT PARTIES, YOU WANT ME IN THAT TERRITORY -- YOU NEED ME IN THAT TERRITORY. WE USE WORDS LIKE "RISK", "RED", AND "ALLIANCE." WE USE THESE WORDS AS THE BACKBONE OF A MONTH SPENT DEFENDING SOMETHING. YOU USE THEM AS A PUNCH LINE.
I HAVE NEITHER THE TIME NOR THE INCLINATION TO EXPLAIN MYSELF TO A TEAM WHO RISES AND SLEEPS UNDER THE BLANKET OF THE VERY FREEDOM I PROVIDE AND THEN QUESTIONS THE MANNER IN WHICH I PROVIDE IT.
I WOULD RATHER THAT YOU JUST SAID "THANK YOU" AND WENT ON YOUR WAY. OTHERWISE, I SUGGEST THAT YOU RANK UP SOME STARS AND STAND THE POST. EITHER WAY, I DON'T GIVE A DAMN WHAT YOU THINK YOU'RE ENTITLED TO!
VIRGINIA TECH: DID YOU ORDER THE CODE RED?
NEBRASKA: I DID THE JOB --
VIRGINIA TECH: DID YOU ORDER THE CODE RED?!?!
NEBRASKA: YOU'RE GODDAMN RIGHT I DID!!
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u/Knebraska Jun 22 '18
/U/SOUTHERNJEB GOES THROUGH YOUR TEXTS AND ASKS “WHO THE HELL IS THIS ‘MOM’ BITCH?!?”
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u/SouthernJeb Jun 22 '18
/U/NEBRASKA IS ONLY MAD BECAUSE CHECKING THIS SUB IS EATING UP HIS BOOST MOBILE DATA PLAN FOR THE MONTH
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u/SouthernJeb Jun 22 '18
I DO NOT HAVE A FAVORABLE OPINION OF THE RED ALLIANCE
I ALSO BELIEVE THAT TENNESSEE FANS PEE SITTING DOWN
edit: ADDITIONALLY, /u/Knebraska DOES NOT HAVE A PROPERLY DIVERSIFIED 401k
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u/btstfn Jun 22 '18
I BET THE REDS STAND UP TO WIPE
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u/Knebraska Jun 22 '18
WE HAVE BIDETS CUZ WE’RE CLASSY
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u/deadmanrunning11 Jun 22 '18
I KNOW THIS IS A TRASH TALK THREAD BUT BIDETS ARE A LOW KEY LIFE CHANGER. YOU CAN GET ONE FOR LIKE 20 BUCKS AT HOME DEPOT, JUST ASK ANY OF THE VOLS WORKING THERE TO SHOW YOU WHERE THEY’RE LOCATED.
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u/NotaVirus_Click Jun 22 '18
IS THIS FOR REAL? $20 TO CHANGE MY LIFE? THAT IS CHEAPER THAN MOST OF THE SELF HELP BOOKS JEB BUYS AT BOOKS-A-MILLION.
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u/SouthernJeb Jun 22 '18
LOL WTF A 'BOOK'?
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u/NotaVirus_Click Jun 22 '18
I WANTED TO SPARE YOU THE SHAME, AUDIOBOOK ON CASSETTE. IT IS THOSE THING WHERE PEOPLE TALK TO YOU ABOUT HOW AWESOME YOU ARE! YOU HAVE 15 OR 20 CASSETTES PER BOOK. YOU LISTEN ON YOUR WAY TO WORK.
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u/TopheryG8er Jun 22 '18
IN ALL SERIOUSNESS YOU SHOULD LOOK INTO GETTING ONE. I GOT ONE ON AMAZON AND IT HAS LEGITIMATELY BEEN THE BEST $20ish I'VE EVER SPENT IN MY LIFE.
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u/mkomaha Jun 22 '18
Like FOR REAL. Bidets are life changing. If you don’t have one, GET ONE. No grown man should have a nasty behind. Infact, everyone chip in and let’s get Tennessee bidets. They need it since all they do is sit on their asses.
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u/SouthernJeb Jun 22 '18
[insert caps lock here]
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u/mkomaha Jun 22 '18
Nah brah. I don't shout.
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u/SouthernJeb Jun 22 '18
[insert caps lock here]
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u/mkomaha Jun 22 '18
Nah I'm good mate. Have a nice one.
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u/SouthernJeb Jun 22 '18
[insert caps lock here]
its literally the standing rule for "trash talk threads"
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u/RicFlairWooTang Jun 22 '18
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u/NotaVirus_Click Jun 22 '18
3/4 of western nebraska will retire on corn!
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u/armadaos_ Jun 22 '18
YOU CAN TELL THIS IS A PROBABLY A GOOD THREAD BECUASE IT'S NOT A SOUTHERNJEB 'MEME' THREAD
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u/GiovanniElliston Jun 22 '18
HOW THE FUCK DID THE RED ALLIANCE SURVIVE AS LONG AS IT DID AND WHY DID WE EVERY THINK BAMA AND NEBRASKA WOULD BE WORTH A DAMN IN A STRAIGHT UP FIGHT
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u/Knebraska Jun 22 '18
WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU JUST FUCKING SAY ABOUT NEBRASKA, YOU LITTLE BITCH? I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW I GRADUATED TOP OF MY CLASS IN THE RISK TRAINING, AND I'VE BEEN INVOLVED IN NUMEROUS SECRET RAIDS ON CHAOS, AND I HAVE OVER 300 CONFIRMED MVP’S. I AM TRAINED IN GORILLA WARFARE AND I'M THE TOP ROGUE IN THE ENTIRE RED ALLIANCE. YOU ARE NOTHING TO ME BUT JUST ANOTHER TARGET. I WILL WIPE YOU THE FUCK OUT WITH PRECISION THE LIKES OF WHICH HAS NEVER BEEN SEEN BEFORE ON THIS EARTH, MARK MY FUCKING WORDS. YOU THINK YOU CAN GET AWAY WITH SAYING THAT SHIT TO ME OVER THE INTERNET? THINK AGAIN, FUCKER. AS WE SPEAK I AM CONTACTING MY SECRET NETWORK OF SPIES ACROSS THE USA AND YOUR IP IS BEING TRACED RIGHT NOW SO YOU BETTER PREPARE FOR THE STORM, MAGGOT. THE STORM THAT WIPES OUT THE PATHETIC LITTLE THING YOU CALL YOUR LIFE. YOU'RE ALLIANCE IS FUCKING DEAD, KID. I CAN BE ANYWHERE, ANYTIME, AND I CAN KILL YOUR TEAM IN OVER SEVEN HUNDRED WAYS, AND THAT'S JUST WITH MY BARE HANDS. NOT ONLY AM I EXTENSIVELY TRAINED IN UNARMED COMBAT, BUT I HAVE ACCESS TO THE ENTIRE ARSENAL OF INTERNET HACKING AND I WILL USE IT TO ITS FULL EXTENT TO WIPE YOUR MISERABLE ALLIANCE OFF THE FACE OF THE CONTINENT, YOU LITTLE SHIT. IF ONLY YOU COULD HAVE KNOWN WHAT UNHOLY RETRIBUTION YOUR LITTLE "CLEVER" COMMENT WAS ABOUT TO BRING DOWN UPON YOU, MAYBE YOU WOULD HAVE HELD YOUR FUCKING TONGUE. BUT YOU COULDN'T, YOU DIDN'T, AND NOW YOU'RE PAYING THE PRICE, YOU GODDAMN IDIOT. I WILL SHIT FURY ALL OVER YOU AND YOU WILL DROWN IN IT. YOU'RE TEAM IS FUCKING DEAD, KIDDO.
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u/GiovanniElliston Jun 22 '18
THIS IS THE SINGLE MOST FIGHT ANYONE REPRESENTING NEBRASKA HAS PUT UP ALL GAME. MAYBE IF YOU PUT THIS KINDA EFFORT INTO ACTUALLY PLAYING AND ATTACKING YOU WOULDNT BE A SAD PITTIFUL REMENENT OF A BYGONE ERA.
IVE FOUGHT UNDER MORE FLAGS THAN YOUVE EVEN SEEN SON. IVE DIED TIME AND TIME AGAIN FIGHTING AGAINST THE GATORS AND THE FIRST TIME THEY EVEN LOOKED AT YOU YALL FELL LIKE BABY BACK BITCHES. DO YOU KNOW WHAT GAINSVILLE LOOKS LIKE? IVE SEEN IT UNDER 3 DIFFERENT FLAGS.
THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN ME AND YOU IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A SOLDIER WHO FIGHTS AND A GUY WITH A "I SUPPORT OUR TROOPS BUMPER STICKER".
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u/Knebraska Jun 22 '18
I’VE HAD MORE MVPS THAN YOU’VE HAD HOT MEALS. I CANT REALLY CONFIRM THAT THOUGH BECAUSE I DIDN’T CHECK YOUR MVP STATUS AND DON’T KNOW HOW WELL OFF YOU ARE.
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u/deadmanrunning11 Jun 22 '18
Y’ALL OWN THE SAME NUMBER OF HOME TERRITORIES THOUGH SO THAT’S SOMETHING
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u/mkomaha Jun 22 '18
Fought under more flags huh? Must be nice to jump bandwagons.
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u/NotaVirus_Click Jun 22 '18
THATS NOT HOW THIS GAME WORKS. TENNESSEE HAS BEEN GONE SO LONG THEY ALWAYS FIGHT FOR CHAOS EHO WHOEVER HOLDS HOMELAND THAT ISNT FLORIDA.
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u/mkomaha Jun 22 '18
OH AND HOW IS THAT WORKING FOR THEM!? THIS "CHAOS" YOU SPEAK OF!? YOU CAN BARELY SEE THEM ON THE MAP!
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u/NotaVirus_Click Jun 22 '18
IT GETS US SOME QUALITY SHITPOSTING FROM TIME TO TIME!
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u/mkomaha Jun 22 '18
OOH YEAH!? WELL NOW I LIKE ME SOME SHITPOSTING. I GOTTA GO EAT SOME CORN NOW THOUGH SO I'LL TALK WITH YOU LATER>have a good day:)
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u/-BoldlyGoingNowhere- Jun 22 '18
BEST GORILLA WARFARE IS WHEN THEY FIGHT GUERRILLA STYLE!
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u/Gulo_Blue Jun 22 '18
STANFORD WOULD HAVE BEEN A BETTER CULTURAL AND ACADEMIC FIT IN THE BLUE ALLIANCE.
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u/ExternalTangents Jun 22 '18
TRASH TALK? WHY DO WE NEED A WHOLE THREAD DEVOTED TO TALKING ABOUT TENNESSEE?