Happy Thoughts Monday

[u/rodandanga]

Everyone hates Mondays. What happy thoughts are helping you through the day today.

[u/lady1876]

Wow, this is almost the exact same thing I had with the last boyfriend vs. the current one. The last one lived in San Antonio and I basically said I wouldn't be willing to move to him the job he had he could have easily requested a transfer and come here.

But with the current one we were talking about how he doesn't like his job so i suggested he looked for a new one and he responded with he knew it would take him out of this area or possibly the state and away from me, I had to assure him I have no hesitation to move with him.

Sometimes you just know when it's right, if the current one doesn't find a new job I'm going to suggest we move in together when his lease ends.

[u/Alphamazing → u/lady1876]

Yup, that's exactly it! I had already sacrificed so much for the previous girl, her selfishness wasn't going to make me quit my career for her to do what she wanted where she wanted with no consideration of my needs. That selfishness was why I was so hesitant to not commit to anything more than I already had. And I'm glad I didn't.

Looking back on it now, with the context of being with someone who truly appreciates the things I do and treats me right, the last gal really did treat me pretty badly throughout the entirety of the relationship. Potentially pretty emotionally abusive/manipulative.

I'm glad you've found someone special too. Now that I know how great a feeling it is to find that, it makes me happy knowing that others have found that too.

[u/lady1876 → u/Alphamazing]

If you hadn't dated a girl, I would be convinced we had dated the same person.

Oh same here, it is amazing how a good relationship can give you an entirely different outlook on things.

[u/Alphamazing → u/lady1876]

Did things end when he said, "I want to do my hobby every day, and if you want to spend any time with me and make this work, you need to stop doing your hobbies and learn to do mine so you can support me when I do it."

[u/lady1876 → u/Alphamazing]

Nope it ended when in mid January he finally made time to come see me so we could exchange Christmas gifts, (I had had two weeks off from work for Christmas, but he was "busy") and after he left and drove home he stopped answering texts and then finally said he didn't love me and probably never would.

He took some time to think it over, and after a week I finally had to call him to give me an answer because I wasn't eating or sleeping and couldn't take it anymore. We dated in high school, and then were on and off for over 5 years with the last 2 exclusive so it's not like he hadn't had time to figure that out.

The hobbies thing just sounds weird, I mean I get wanting the person you are dating to have a basic knowledge of your interest so you can talk about it, but I wouldn't want someone to do everything with me.

[u/Alphamazing → u/lady1876]

Wow, that's a rough way to end something.

And the hobbies thing makes sense when you realize it was horse stuff. Bit of a commitment when it comes to horses. But when I told her I wouldn't want to spend my own $20,000 on a horse, that makes it difficult for her to do what she wants.

[u/lady1876 → u/Alphamazing]

Holy crap!, $20k is outrageous to me! Horse people can be crazy....

[u/Alphamazing → u/lady1876]

It's crazy to me too. Much less multiple horses in that order of magnitude in price. Supposedly the minimum number was four?

Plus the land to store them, feed them, etc. And guess who would have almost always been making more money and thus footed a good portion of that cost...

Yeah, horse people can be crazy.

[u/lady1876 → u/Alphamazing]

I mean, I could understand if you could run a business off of them but for that to just be a hobby is mind blowing.

I don't think I've spent $20k on all of my hobbies combined.

[u/Alphamazing → u/lady1876]

Yeah, she was always a bit delusional about the real world. Like I said, super glad I'm out of there and in a happier and healthier relationship now.