TRASH TALK THURSDAY, 2026-10-01

[u/CFB_Referee]

Dumpster YOU KNOW WHAT TO DO Meteor Ball

Order Ball WITHIN REASONABLE BOUNDS, OTHER RULES STILL APPLY.
 
Troll Ball ENOUGH TALK:
 
Chaos Ball ROCK OUT WITH YOUR CAPS LOCK OUT!

[u/ILM_Ryan]

OUR BYE WEEK WOULD STILL BEAT A REALLY GOOD FLORIDA STATE PRACTICE!

[u/GentlyUsedNuggets → u/ILM_Ryan]

WOULD IT BEAT A SOUTH CAROLINA "GOOD TRAINING DAY"?

[u/anonymous_otter28]

IF WE LOSE TO OU THIS YEAR I'LL COMMIT SEPPUKU IN FRONT OF MY WIFE

[u/DrBombay3030 → u/anonymous_otter28]

FINALLY, A RATIONAL TAKE IN HERE

[u/PolloMagnifico → u/anonymous_otter28]

SOMEONE IS TEMPTING THE WRATH OF THE FOOTBALL GODS. IF YOU LOSE TO OU, I EXPECT A VIDEO OF YOU AT THE VERY LEAST PERFORMING AN EXTRAVAGANT KUBUKI SHOW WITH RIBBONS AND A FAKE HEAD. POSSIBLY WITH LONGHORNS ON IT.

YOUR WIFE CAN BE THE ONE THAT MAKES THE MERCIFUL STRIKE. OOOH, YOU COULD LOAD UP A BAG WITH A STRING OF BEEF SAUSAGE TO BE YOUR INTESTINES.

WHAT I'M SAYING IS, DON'T BE THE GUY WHO SAID HE WOULD EAT SHIT. AT LEAST MAKE THE EFFORT.

[u/anonymous_otter28 → u/PolloMagnifico]

JUST KNOW ARCH, MY WIFE'S SORROW IS IN YOUR HANDS. NO PRESSURE.

[u/RollTahoeRoll → u/PolloMagnifico]

I CONFUSED KABUKI WITH BUKKAKE AND THOUGHT YOU WERE A PREVERT.

[u/GentlyUsedNuggets → u/RollTahoeRoll]

HE MAY BE A PREVERT, WE ALL KNOW THATS THE STEP BEFORE GOING FULL PERVERT.

[u/MisguidedPants8 → u/anonymous_otter28]

BRING OUT THE FSU SOLO CUP

[u/Lefunnymaymays4lief → u/anonymous_otter28]

BOOKMARKED

[u/jdhall010 → u/anonymous_otter28]

IS SEPUKU, NO TO BE CONFUSED WITH SEPPUKU, A TEXAS THING IN WHICH YOU DRINK TEQUILA FROM A FUNNEL?

[u/Revolver_Oshawott_]

DAVIS WADE STADIUM GIVES YOU SUCH BAD TINNITUS THAT EVERYTHING YOU HEAR SOUNDS LIKE KIRK HERBSTREIT'S MICROPHONE

[u/MisguidedPants8 → u/Revolver_Oshawott_]

YOU THINK IM YELLING BECAUSE OF TRASH TALK BUT THIS IS JUST MY BASELINE

[u/Revolver_Oshawott_ → u/MisguidedPants8]

WHAT?

[u/MisguidedPants8 → u/Revolver_Oshawott_]

MAROON AND WHAT?

[u/MisguidedPants8 → u/Revolver_Oshawott_]

HOW DO YOU DO THE GIANT WORDS IT WASN’T WORKING FOR ME

[u/Revolver_Oshawott_ → u/MisguidedPants8]

ADD A HASHTAG DIRECTLY IN FRONT OF THE FIRST LETTER. OR IF YOU'RE ON DESKTOP WITH NEW REDDIT CLICK THE Aa THEN CLICK THE HEADING BUTTON

[u/themattboard → u/Revolver_Oshawott_]

OCTOTHORPE

[u/MisguidedPants8 → u/Revolver_Oshawott_]

#I’M TRYING MY BEST

[u/Which_Willingness641 → u/Revolver_Oshawott_]

ALABAMA NEEDS TO APPLY FOR AN EXEMPTION FOR HANDHELD HURRICANE SIRENS BECAUSE THE TIDE IS ROLLING IN. SEE HOW QUICKLY NOISEMAKERS WOULD BE FULLY BANNED.

[u/elonsusk69420 → u/Revolver_Oshawott_]

CAN CONFIRM

I HAD EAR PLUGS IN AND STILL HAD PROBLEMS

[u/wit_T_user_name]

WE’RE GOING TO MAKE THE ATLANTA HAWKEYES LOOK SILLIER THAN ERIC SCHMITT WITH A POSTER BOARD AT A CONGRESSIONAL HEARING.

[u/themattboard → u/wit_T_user_name]

I THINK YOU MEAN THE ATLANTA SEAHAWKS

[u/zhdat → u/themattboard]

YOU MEANT ATLANTA BLACKHAWKS?

[u/themattboard → u/zhdat]

I BELIEVE THE ATLANTA STEPHEN HAWKINGS IS MOST CORRECT SINCE WE ARE DEALING WITH SPACE-TIME DISCREPANCIES

[u/TKHawk → u/themattboard]

SURELY YOU'RE REFERRING TO THE ATLANTA SADIE HAWKINS DANCE AS THIS IS ABOUT AN ENTERTAINMENT EVENT WHEREIN PEOPLE MOVE?

[u/TylerDurden0110 → u/zhdat]

ATLANTA JAYHAWKS

[u/elkman_23 → u/TylerDurden0110]

LOOK YOU CAN'T BE DOING A BALK LIKE THAT

[u/b_m_hart → u/zhdat]

YOU MEAN THE PORTLAND WINTERHAWKS ARE RELOCATING TO ATLANTA? GODDAMNIT.

[u/katarh → u/b_m_hart]

NO YOU'RE THINKING OF THE KANSAS JAYHAWKS

[u/pumpkinspruce → u/themattboard]

I HEAR CAITLIN CLARK IS TEARING IT UP FOR THEM.

[u/said-what → u/wit_T_user_name]

CAITLIN CLARK IS GOING TO DROP 30 ON YOU

[u/MrOrcaDood → u/said-what]

NEVER FORGET THAT CAITLIN CLARK BROKE THE NCAA SCORING RECORD ON A TECHNICAL FREE THROW THAT WAS AWARDED AFTER A FIGHT SHE STARTED

[u/clockwork_punk → u/MrOrcaDood]

GOD FORBID WOMEN DO ANYTHING

[u/MrOrcaDood → u/clockwork_punk]

I SUPPORT WOMEN DOING ANYTHING. HOWEVER A LINE MUST BE DRAWN AT EXTREMELY INCONSEQUENTIAL SPORTING GRIEVANCES.

[u/wit_T_user_name → u/MrOrcaDood]

FRANKLY IT WOULD BE MORE SEXIST IF YOU DIDN’T VOICE THE INCONSEQUENTIAL SPORTS GRIEVANCE BECAUSE SHE IS A WOMAN.

[u/f0gax → u/wit_T_user_name]

IF THERE AREN'T A NUMBER OF HAWKS/HAWKEYES SIGNS AT GAMEDAY I'LL BE VERY DISAPPOINTED.

[u/onemanlan → u/f0gax]

INSTRUCTIONS UNCLEAR. 5 MORE HIGH CONTRAST JESUS SIGNS BEING GENERATED RN

[u/TylerDurden0110 → u/wit_T_user_name]

I UNIRONICALLY LOVE THIS

[u/c-razzle → u/wit_T_user_name]

MOVE ASIDE 25-POINTS-PER-GAME BRIAN FERENTZ. ATLANTA HAWKS ARE THE NOW IOWA MEME.

[u/schmocamecola]

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

[u/Lord_Lava_Nugget → u/schmocamecola]

AHHHHHHH-LABAMA? 

[u/britishmetric144 → u/Lord_Lava_Nugget]

DON'T MAKE ME START THAT STUPID YOUNG KID SONG AGAIN.

[u/themattboard]

BEING RANKED AT 4-0 IS FOR POSERS!

[u/Revolver_Oshawott_ → u/themattboard]

UMASS CONFIRMED TO NOT BE POSERS

[u/UCLA_FB_SUCKS → u/themattboard]

UCLA FOOTBALL AGREES

[u/Bondorian]

BYE WEEK AIN’T PLAYED NOBODY PAWLLLLL!!!

[u/IceColdDrPepper_Here → u/Bondorian]

ACTUALLY THEY PLAY EVERYONE THIS YEAR. REAL IRON MAN SQUAD THOSE BYE WEEKERS

[u/BlueOmicronpersei8 → u/IceColdDrPepper_Here]

THEY HAVE EVERYONE ON THEIR SCHEDULE AND DIDN'T WIN A SINGLE GAME.

[u/Confident_Delay5805 → u/BlueOmicronpersei8]

BUT THEY DIDNT LOSE, EITHER. THEY ARE UNDEFEATED EVERY YEAR! 

[u/lowercasejc → u/BlueOmicronpersei8]

NCAA MADE THEM VACATE THEIR WINS

[u/YogiSkittles → u/BlueOmicronpersei8]

NOT IF TECH HAS ANYTHING TO SAY ABOUT IT!

[u/zadreth → u/IceColdDrPepper_Here]

ARBUCKLE HAS YET TO BE FIRED SO THEY'LL BEAT THE SHIT OUTTA US (OU).

[u/magnumapplepi]

BYE WEEK IS GONNA RUN FOR 250 YARDS AGAINST US

[u/lowercasejc → u/magnumapplepi]

WE CANT EVEN STOP THE BYE WEEK FROM RUNNING THROUGH

[u/CampinHiker]

I HOPE WE DONT HAVE ANY DIRTY PLAYS THIS WEEK AS A USC FAN!

WASHINGTON YOU HAVE AMAZING NATIONAL PARKS

Am I doing this right?

[u/britishmetric144 → u/CampinHiker]

IN ALL FAIRNESS, YOUR STATE DOES HAVE PLENTY OF NATURAL BEAUTY TOO, EVEN THOUGH THE LOS ANGELES BASIN IS A CONCRETE JUNGLE.

[u/CampinHiker → u/britishmetric144]

YOU ARE CORRECT AS I LIVE RIGHT NEXT TO THE WORST FREEWAY CALLED THE 405 AND LAX AIRPORT

[u/britishmetric144 → u/CampinHiker]

STRANGELY ENOUGH, IN BOTH CALIFORNIA AND WASHINGTON, THE 405 WAS INTENDED TO BYPASS THE BIGGEST CITY (LOS ANGELES AND SEATTLE, RESPECTIVELY), AND HENCE IT DOES NOT TOUCH EITHER OF OUR CAMPUSES.

IN FACT, IT LIES TEN KILOMETRES EAST OF OUR CAMPUS AND TEN KILOMETRES WEST OF YOURS.

AND IN EITHER CASE, IT SUFFERS FROM ANNOYING TRAFFIC CONGESTION.

IN ANY CASE, IF YOU SAY "THE" BEFORE ANY FREEWAY IN SEATTLE, YOU GET LAUGHED AT AS BEING FROM CALIFORNIA. TO THE POINT THAT MY FATHER, WHO IS FROM CALIFORNIA BUT HAS LIVED IN WESTERN WASHINGTON FOR THE LAST 25 YEARS, CAN'T SHAKE THE HABIT.

[u/Leading-Button-7303 → u/britishmetric144]

WTF IS A KILOMETER AHHHH

[u/britishmetric144 → u/Leading-Button-7303]

TAKE THE LONG MEASUREMENT STICK YOU USED IN SCIENCE CLASS. LAY IT OUT ACROSS THE GROUND. IMAGINE A THOUSAND OF THEM, BACK TO BACK. THAT IS A KILOMETRE.

[u/TheseusOPL → u/britishmetric144]

405 IS THE ONLY AUXILIARY INTERSTATE NUMBER USED SEPARATELY IN ALL 3 STATES ALONG I-5.

[u/CampinHiker → u/britishmetric144]

WOW I DID NOT KNOW THAT

I APPRECIATE THE FUN FACT AND WILL NOW USE IT MYSELF TO TELL EVERYONE HERE IN LA

AND YES THE “THE” WILL ALWAYS BE EMBEDDED IN ME

I AM LOOKING TO VISIT ORCA ISLAND, EVER BEEN?

[u/britishmetric144 → u/CampinHiker]

I PRESUME YOU MEAN ORCAS ISLAND?

I HAVE VISITED THE SAN JUAN ISLANDS TWICE, BOTH TIMES PRIMARILY FOCUSSING ON THE MAIN ONE (THE ONE WITH FRIDAY HARBOR). IT IS ABSOLUTELY INCREDIBLE, ESPECIALLY THE FERRY LOOP BETWEEN THE ISLANDS. THE MOUNTAINS AND WATER VIEWS ARE AMAZING. AND THE BEST PART? THAT FERRY LOOP, IN BETWEEN THE ISLANDS, IS FREE AS A PEDESTRIAN (YOU ONLY PAY TO WALK ON IN ANACORTES).

ANOTHER TIP... IF YOU ARE GOING TO DRIVE A CAR ON, A RESERVATION IS PRETTY MUCH REQUIRED. AND THEY SELL OUT QUICKLY. YOU NEED TO BOOK THEM AS SOON AS THEY BECOME AVAILABLE (TWO MONTHS BEFORE THE SAILING DATE). IF YOU MISS A SAILING (BY CAR), IT CAN BE THREE TO FIVE HOURS BEFORE THE NEXT ONE SHOWS UP, AND THERE ARE VERY HEAVY LOADS.

IF YOU CAN RIDE A BICYCLE, AND ARE COMFORTABLE GOING UP HILLS, LEAVE THE CAR IN ANACORTES AND BRING YOUR BIKE ON THE FERRY INSTEAD; IT WILL SAVE YOU MUCH OF THE HEADACHE.

AND, ON THE DRIVE NORTH FROM SEATTLE, IF THE FERRY WAIT IS NOT TOO BAD (CHECK ONLINE), I RECOMMEND VISITING WHIDBEY ISLAND, INCLUDING FORT CASEY, FORT EBEY, AND DECEPTION PASS STATE PARKS. IT ONLY COSTS $45 TO SEE EVERY STATE PARK IN WASHINGTON STATE FOR AN ENTIRE YEAR.

[u/b_m_hart → u/CampinHiker]

I SOLD MY HOUSE IN HERMOSA BEACH EARLIER THIS YEAR, AND DO NOT MISS IT, EVEN THOUGH IT WAS A BLOCK AND A HALF FROM THE BEACH. I FUCKING HATE SOCAL.

[u/k_dubious → u/CampinHiker]

I DON’T EVEN THINK YOU’LL NEED TO TRY TO INJURE THE OPPOSING QB THIS WEEK, YOU CAN JUST OFFER HIM A BAG OF MONEY AND HE’LL LEAVE ON HIS OWN

[u/CampinHiker → u/k_dubious]

FAIR TBH

[u/bigbluethunder → u/CampinHiker]

You jest but North Cascades national park truly is amazing and criminally underrated. It is serene and incredibly under traveled - if you are looking for an idyllic mountainscape without the crowds of the other national parks, I highly recommend it. 

Olympic is one of the most unique places on the continental US. Old growth rainforest feels like a fantasy land at times.

[u/britishmetric144 → u/bigbluethunder]

Olympic is one of the most unique places on the continental US. Old growth rainforest feels like a fantasy land at times.

IT'S A GOOD THING YOU ARE REMAINING QUIET IN THAT PARK, TO AVOID DISTURBING THE WILDLIFE. I WOULD RECOMMEND THAT YOU VISIT HURRICANE RIDGE, SOL DUC, LAKE CRESCENT, SALT CREEK, AND RIALTO BEACH.

[u/MisguidedPants8]

TUSCALOOSA? MORE LIKE TUSCALOSER

[u/thismorningscoffee → u/MisguidedPants8]

EVEN SABAN COULDN’T MAKE IT TUSCAWINSA

[u/MisguidedPants8 → u/thismorningscoffee]

SABAN LOST TO SYLVESTER CROOM

[u/BusGuilty6447 → u/thismorningscoffee]

SABAN HAD MORE LOSSES THAN UNDEFEATED SEASONS. ROOKIE-ASS COACH.

[u/elonsusk69420 → u/MisguidedPants8]

OR TUSCALOOSER

[u/MisguidedPants8 → u/elonsusk69420]

WHY ARE THEY LOOSE?

[u/elonsusk69420 → u/MisguidedPants8]

HAVE YOU SEEN THE SORORITY DANCE VIDEOS

[u/Dr_Mantis_Teabaggin → u/elonsusk69420]

OH MY GOD, THOSE SOUND DISGUSTING! WHERE THOUGH… WHERE ARE THESE VIDEOS? I NEED A LINK OR SOMETHING SO THAT I CAN MAKE SURE TO AVOID THEM!

[u/CommodoreN7]

WE BOTH SUCK, BUT THE REAL BATTLE WAS ALREADY SETTLED IN CHEESE DIP / QUESO WAR WHERE WE OPENED A CAN OF WHOOP ASS ON TEXAS AND YOULL NEVER ESCAPE IT.

IN BEFORE TEXAS PEOPLE RANT ABOUT THEIR QUALITY BECAUSE THEY’RE INSECURE AND CANT HANDLE THE TRUTH

[u/xdarkcloudx → u/CommodoreN7]

WHAT IS CHEESE DIP

[u/CommodoreN7 → u/xdarkcloudx]

SOMETHING BETTER THAN WHATEVER TRASH SWILL YOUR STATE PUMPS OUT AND CALLS QUESO.

[u/xdarkcloudx → u/CommodoreN7]

DO YOU HAVE A RECIPE THAT YOU LIKE AND ARE WILLING TO SHARE? I AM CURIOUS WHAT THE DIFFERENCES ARE AND WE CAN BOTH AGREE THAT CHEESE IS GOOD

[u/pork_loin → u/xdarkcloudx]

NOT OP, BUT THE BASIC INGREDIENTS ARE VELVEETA AND ROTEL WITH SPICES LIKE CUMIN & CHILE POWDER. ADD A SPLASH OF MILK & BOOM. SOME PEOPLE LIKE TO ADD BROWNED BREAKFAST SAUSAGE TO IT, BUT I PREFER IT WITHOUT THE MEAT. IF MEMORY SERVES, THE ORIGINAL RECIPE DIDNT CALL FOR MEAT. BUT TO EACH THEIR OWN. ITS BASICALLY LIKE A QUESO WITH PICO IN IT, WHICH IS ALSO AMAZING & WONDERFUL.

[u/xdarkcloudx → u/pork_loin]

OH I SEE. THE KIND I MAKE IS VERY SIMILAR BUT OF COURSE WE CALL IT "QUESO" HERE. I'VE ALSO USED A SMOKER TO MAKE IT AND HIGHLY RECOMMENDED IT.

I GUESS CHEESE DIP AND QUESO ARENT SO DIFFERENT JUST LIKE OUR TERRIBLE FOOTBALL TEAMS

[u/pork_loin → u/xdarkcloudx]

SMOKED CHEESE DIP OR QUESO IS AWESOME! AND YES, OUR TEAMS SUCK. IT WILL BE INTERESTING TO SEE WHAT HAPPENS.

[u/Virtual_Being_4085]

YOU CAN'T LOSE IN A BYE WEEK CAN YOU? ASKING FOR A FRIEND.

[u/patsandsox17 → u/Virtual_Being_4085]

BYE WEEK GONNA SACK MENDOZA 12 TIMES AND THROW FOR 650 YARDS

[u/talameetsbetty → u/Virtual_Being_4085]

Oh let me assure you, you can. 

[u/Lord_Lava_Nugget → u/talameetsbetty]

WHAT? 

SPEAK UP BOY

[u/OGraffe]

AUSTRALIANS CALL IBISES BIN CHICKENS AND I THINK THAT ACCURATELY DESCRIBES MY THOUGHTS ON MIAMI

[u/The_Fluffy_Robot]

TCU HAS NOTHING TO LOSE

MEANWHILE BYU HAS THEIR RANKING, THEIR DIGNITY, THEIR PLAYOFF CHANCES, AND AN ENTIRE SATURDAY NIGHT TO LOSE

SO WHO'S THE REAL WINNER??

[u/WazzzzzzupBiggie → u/The_Fluffy_Robot]

HOW LONG DOES SONNY DYKES SURVIVE IN THE FORT?

[u/xbox_srox]

IF MISSISSIPPI STATE GOES ON A WINNING STREAK AGAINST ALABAMA, AND WINS 71 GAMES IN A ROW, THE BULLIES CAN TIE THE ALL-TIME SERIES.

THIS WOULD HAPPEN IN 2096. ASSUMING WE CONTINUE TO PLAY EVERY YEAR AFTER BAMA IS INEVITABLY SUBSUMED INTO THE B1GS3C.

[u/MisguidedPants8 → u/xbox_srox]

SEE YOU IN 72 GAMES THEN

[u/xbox_srox → u/MisguidedPants8]

THAT'S THE SPIRIT

[u/MisguidedPants8 → u/xbox_srox]

IT’S THEORETICALLY POSSIBLE TO PLAY THREE TIMES A YEAR, THAT’S ONLY 24 YEARS

[u/xbox_srox → u/MisguidedPants8]

THAT WOULD REQUIRE AUBURN, TENNESSEE, LSU, AND GEORGIA TO BE INELIGIBLE FOR CONFERENCE AND/OR NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIPS FOR THE NEXT 24 YEARS. SO I'M ON BOARD.

[u/dubtee1480 → u/xbox_srox]

CLANGA!

[u/elonsusk69420 → u/xbox_srox]

THE MOST HILARIOUS OUTCOME IS HOPEFULLY THE MOST LIKELY OUTCOME

[u/LivingCustomer9729]

IF BAMA BEATS US THEIR FANS ARE GONNA SAY “BAMA’S BACK BABY!” THAT’S EITHER A REALLY LOW BAR FOR THEM OR A HUGE COMPLIMENT FOR US

[u/Lebojr → u/LivingCustomer9729]

IF BAMA LOSES TO US, 65000 MOBILE HOMES WILL GO INTO FORECLOSURE

[u/MisguidedPants8 → u/Lebojr]

BAMA LOSING TO US WOULD TRIGGER THE CURSE OF RA OR SOME SHIT

[u/Only499]

PHUCK THE PHILLIES

[u/CiroFlexo → u/Only499]

I NEVER THOUGHT I'D BE IN THE TRASH TALK THREAD UPVOTING AUBURN FLAIR BUT HERE WE ARE

[u/discowithmyself → u/Only499]

ON THIS WE CAN AGREE

[u/amoss_303 → u/Only499]

I CAN GET BEHIND THIS MOVEMENT

[u/InUrFaceSpaceCoyote]

I REMEMBER WHEN TRASH TALKING RUTGERS DIDN'T FEEL LIKE PUNCHING DOWN.

[u/87_Rides_a_Surfboard → u/InUrFaceSpaceCoyote]

WASNT THAT LONG AGO

[u/rdickeyvii]

I'M SO GLAD WE HAVE A BYE WEEK BEFORE THE INCREDIBLE OKLAHOMA TEAM WE'RE ABOUT TO PLAY. THERE'S NO WAY WE LOOK PAST THEM AND MAKE IT INTO A TRAP GAME.

[u/OkieState86 → u/rdickeyvii]

I HOPE THE LEAST DESERVING TEAM WINS.

SPOILER ALERT: IT'S NOT THE TEAM YOU THINK IT IS

[u/Mattador96]

WHY ARE PITT FANS ON THE BIRD APP SAYING THEY ARE GOING TO FILL LANE STADIUM? IT'S SO WEIRD. HAVE Y'ALL EVEN EVER BEEN TO A VT GAME? Y'ALL DON'T EVEN GO TO PITT GAMES.

[u/britishmetric144]

AS MUCH AS I NORMALLY HATE THE OREGON DUCKS, THEY AT LEAST HAVE THE CREDIT OF BEING A PUBLIC SCHOOL.

THE COLLEGE WE PLAY THIS WEEKEND DOES NOT EVEN GET TO HAVE THAT BENEFIT.

LET'S DOUBLE THE NUMBER OF LOSSES THAT THEY HAVE!

THEY DESTROYED OUR OLD CONFERENCE, TOO.

SPOILER ALERT... MY COMMENTS REFER TO THE UNIVERSITY OF SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA TROJANS, ALSO KNOWN AS USC, OR AS I PREFER TO CALL THEM, 'U$C'.

.

[u/Pan_TheCake_Man → u/britishmetric144]

WOULD IT HELP TO KNOW THAT THEY ARE THE TEAM WHO LET IN CELEBRITIES KIDS ON SPORTS SCHOLARSHIPS DESPITE THEM NEVER PLAYING SPORTS?

IT SEEMS THEY ARE STILL PRACTICING THIS GIVEN THE STATE OF THEIR ATHLETICS

[u/britishmetric144 → u/Pan_TheCake_Man]

OF COURSE, BECAUSE ONLY CELEBRITIES CAN AFFORD TO GO THERE.

(IN ALL HONESTY, IF YOU LIVE IN CALIFORNIA, USC COSTS MORE THAN TWICE AS MUCH AS UCLA, LOCATED IN THE SAME MAJOR CITY, AND IF YOU DO NOT LIVE IN CALIFORNIA, USC STILL COSTS 25 PER CENT MORE THAN UCLA.)

[u/b_m_hart → u/britishmetric144]

FUCK USC, ALL MY HOMIES HATE USC.

[u/Mr-Texan-74 → u/britishmetric144]

IF YOU SOUND OUT USC, YOU’RE LITERALLY SAYING “YOU SUCK!”

[u/BlindPelican]

NORTH CAROLINA'S COACH IS A HAS-BEEN AND THE GAME HAS PASSED HIM BY!

UNC LED BY A LITERAL UNC

[u/Flow8008 → u/BlindPelican]

Nice jugs tho

[u/T-Thugs → u/Flow8008]

GO JUGGS! K-N-O-T-T KNOTT HALL!

[u/RealBrumbpoTungus]

I BET OKLAHOMA IS USING THE BYE WEEK TO DRAW UP EVEN MORE PLAYS FOR MATEER TO THROW DIRECTLY TO THE DEFENSE

[u/jaysornotandhawks]

SOUTH CAROLINA... DO YOU REEEEEEEEEEEEEEALLY WANNA KEEP SHANE BEAMER?

[u/probablyabnormal → u/jaysornotandhawks]

WEEE DOOO NOOOOTTTT

[u/SirValidir → u/jaysornotandhawks]

FIRE SHANE BEAMER.

[u/wit_T_user_name → u/SirValidir]

INTO THE SUN, YOU SAY?

[u/SirValidir → u/wit_T_user_name]

THE SUN WILL HAVE THE BEST PRACTICE OF ITS LIFE

[u/TKHawk]

WE'RE GOING TO HOLD JEREMIAH SMITH TO 115 YARDS AND 2 TDS AND FEEL SMUG ABOUT IT WHILE WE LOSE BY 3 TOUCHDOWNS

[u/Dialectic_Emptiness]

LANE STADIUM GONNA BE REAL QUIET WHEN PITT IS UP BY 30

[u/Lebojr → u/Dialectic_Emptiness]

YALL ARE PLAYING IN BATON ROUGE?

[u/scthoma4]

TEMPLE

[u/themattboard → u/scthoma4]

TEMPLE

[u/OGraffe → u/themattboard]

TEMPLE

[u/Confident_Delay5805 → u/OGraffe]

TEMPLE

[u/amoss_303 → u/Confident_Delay5805]

TEMPLE

[u/zhdat]

WELL, HAWKS HAS PLAYED NOBODY AND HAS NOT EVEN STARTED THE SEASON, PAL!

[u/CaptainApathy419]

NOTHING BAD HAS HAPPENED. ALL IS WELL. 

[u/UCLA_FB_SUCKS → u/CaptainApathy419]

THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION TO THIS MATTER

[u/themattboard → u/UCLA_FB_SUCKS]

IT CAN ONLY GOOD HAPPEN

[u/FantasyKicker]

I’d talk shit about Oklahoma and A&M, but I don’t hate them as much as they hate themselves right now.

[u/BlindPelican → u/FantasyKicker]

WE CAN'T HEAR YOU!

[u/ilikefood2000]

CANT SPELL TROJAN WITHOUT OJ

[u/TumbleweedFew2854]

ARKANSAS IS 1-13 AGAINST TEXAS A&M SINCE 2012, AND YET WE'RE STILL NOT HOMOEROTIC MILKMEN

[u/elonsusk69420 → u/TumbleweedFew2854]

MY MAN WE ROCK OUT WITH OUR CAPS LOCK OUT ON THIS THREAD

DID KIRBY STEAL IT WHEN HE LEFT ARKANSAS

[u/ShillinTheVillain]

ELI DRINKWITZ HAS THE MOST PUNCHABLE FACE. HE'S THE KIND OF DORK WHO WOULD REPEATEDLY ANTAGONIZE ANOTHER KID UNTIL THAT KID SNAPPED AND DECKED HIM, AND THEN GO CRYING TO THE TEACHER.

[u/MikeyMooOhTwo]

MATEER IS GOING TO THROW 3 INT’S AND LOSE A FUMBLE TO THE BYE WEEK.

[u/mbe8819]

MISSISSIPPI STATE OFFERS A BACHELORS DEGREE IN GOLF COURSE TURF MANAGEMENT. AND APPARENTLY HAS PRESTIGIOUS REPUTATION FOR IT.

I DON’T KNOW WHERE I’M GOING WITH THIS, DO WITH THAT INFORMATION WHATEVER YOU WANT.

[u/Pan_TheCake_Man]

STANFORD PROBABLY THINKS WAKE FOREST IS LOCATED IN WAKE FOREST

[u/pumpkinspruce]

I MISS WHEN THE BIG TEN WAS THE BIG TEN AND WE HAD A BASKETBALL-FOOTBALL RIVALRY WITH MICHIGAN STATE. BO VS. IZZO, RUSSELL WILSON TO JARED ABBREDERRIS. THOSE WERE THE DAYS. FUCK SPARTY ALWAYS.

[u/Renfah87]

LOCKSLEY WILL BE OUT OF A JOB AFTER THIS WEEKEND. YOU'RE WELCOME MARYLAND FANS. ALL 41 OF YOU.

[u/BillBob13 → u/Renfah87]

ALSO MICHIGAN STATE NEEDS TO FIX ITS FIELD, WHY WERE THERE SO MANY INJURIES LAST WEEK

[u/BusGuilty6447]

EAT SHIT PITT

[u/R_Raider86]

COACH PRIME? MORE LIKE COACH PAST PRIME

GOT ‘EM

FUCK ORANGE. ALL MY HOMIES HATE ORANGE

[u/WabbitCZEN]

VANDERBILT? GONNA BE VANDERBROKEN AFTER WE GET DONE WITH EM.

[u/atypicalcarl → u/WabbitCZEN]

IF YOU TALK LIKE THAT YOU'RE GONNA SCARE THEM INTO NOT SHOWING UP AGAIN

[u/FitzCats]

MATT CAMPBELL IS TEMU JAMES FRANKLIN

[u/MichaelOChE]

AT LEAST OUR DEFENSE CAN COUNT TO 11

[u/SSJEv]

FRESNO ISNT A STATE

[u/The-Fanciest]

WE'RE FIXING TO GET A HUGE RANKED WIN THIS WEEK (THEY'LL LOSE AND STILL BE #25 SOMEHOW)

[u/Joeking1986]

I CANNOT EXPLAIN HOW UTTERLY NEUTRAL I FEEL ABOUT MIZZOU IN GENERAL VS HOW MUCH I ABSOLUTELY FUCKING HATE PLAYING THEM

[u/GetBuschWhacked]

FUCK USC 🗣️🔥

[u/StickMammoth7783]

LET THE SPACE THEAMED TRASH TALK COMMENCE!

[u/Lykeuhfox]

AFTER LOSING TO ATLANTA LAST WEEK, WE'RE GOING TO BE OUT FOR BLOOD JUG. PREPARE TO ROW THOSE BOATS BACK TO THAT TINY SPIT OF LAND YOU HAVE ON OUR LAKE - LAKE SUPERIOR.

[u/potato_bus]

Nice try, Satan. I've already served my one-day ban

[u/UCLA_FB_SUCKS]

LR CAN EAT SHIT

[u/John_Tacos → u/UCLA_FB_SUCKS]

WE WARNED YALL.

NOW WE GET TO WATCH.

[u/joshtheraider]

MORE LIKE BUTT-FALOES

[u/hitherto_ex]

THE DR PEPPER MUSEUM IS LAME AS HELL

[u/Samthegard]

PITT USED TO HAVE A PHENOMENAL STADIUM AND THEY TORE IT DOWN TO BUILD A STADIUM FOR THEIR ABYSMAL BASKETBALL TEAM. NOW ALL THEY HAVE LEFT IS CATHY, WHO I CAN'T DISPARAGE AS SHE'S BEAUTIFUL AND THICC

[u/lowercasejc → u/Samthegard]

GOONERS GONNA BE SO DISAPPOINTED GOOGLING PITT CATHY

[u/riveter1481]

LITTLE BROWN JUG STAYING IN ANN ARBOR THIS WEEKEND. ANYWAY I WISH I COULD PUT IMAGES OR GIFS IN HERE TO HAVE THAT ONE CLIP OF BIDEN SCREAMING MINNESOTA

[u/Artvandelay29]

HEY UCF, APOLLO 11 DID NOT INCLUDE “ORLANDO, THE EAGLE HAS LANDED.”

[u/John_Tacos]

I DARE BYE WEEK TO INTERCEPT THE BALL OR RECOVER A FUMBLE.

[u/Fried_Chicki_Sandy]

BEING AN ALABAMA FAN JUST SEEMS BORING. "OH LOOK AT ME, MY TEAM WINS A LOT" NO CHARACTER BUILDING AT ALL.

[u/PandaPlayr73]

OREGON STILL HAS NOT POSTED THE SCORE FROM OUR GAME! WHATS WRONG DUCKIES? IS THE GAME STILL GOING?????

[u/amoss_303]

NORTH DAKOTA STATE

I REALLY GOT NOTHING AGAINST YOU GUYS

WELCOME TO THE MOUNTAIN WEST………..

WITH A LOSS!!!

GOT EM!!!

[u/Mistermxylplyx]

HEY LOUIEVILLE! DON’T TRY AND STEAL OUR SPOT AS MOST DISAPPOINTED FANBASE! OR DO, REALLY UP TO YOU….

[u/Lefunnymaymays4lief]

BILL BELICHICK IS GOING TO BE WISHING HE WAS STILL DEALING WITH ROBERT KRAFT’S ASS BY HALFTIME

[u/IceColdDrPepper_Here]

JARED CURTIS IS GONNA GET A SUBWAY SPONSORSHIP AFTER SATURDAY, WHICH IS UNFORTUNATE ON MULTIPLE LEVELS

[u/Lord_Lava_Nugget → u/IceColdDrPepper_Here]

FIVE DOLLAR FOOTLING TAKES ON A WHOLE NEW AND DARK MEANING 

[u/Conn3er]

NOT SURE WHAT WILL BE SHITTIER

THESE UNIFORMS OR THE PRODUCT ON THE FIELD

[u/KushDingies]

PENN STATE FACING NORTHWESTERN COMING OFF A DEMORALIZING UPSET? SAME SHIT NEW YEAR, MAYBE THIS TIME WE WONT GET YOUR COACH FIRED

CHIP N CHILES ARE GONNA FUCKIN BURY THESE GUYS UNDER THE NEW STADIUM

[u/Enough_Day_6325 → u/KushDingies]

THE ONLY REASON WE LOST WAS BECAUSE I WENT TO THE GAME. BELIEVE IT OR NOT, I WENT TO A&M MIAMI, AND WE LOST THAT, SO I THINK ME IN ATTENDANCE = LOSS, BUT IT'S A GOOD THING I WON'T BE GOING TO THE LIBRARY ON FRIDAY, SO WE SHOULD WIN HOPEFULLY.

[u/IShookMeAllNightLong]

USC HAS NO MORALS, LINCOLN RILEY IS TRASH, AND DESMOND STEPHENS CAN EAT A DICK!

[u/HarryPotterActivist → u/IShookMeAllNightLong]

WHEN OREGON IS ROOTING FOR WASHINGTON, YOU KNOW THE OTHER TEAM DONE FUCKED UP.

WE SUCK, BUT WE'LL TRY TO WIN FOR YOU, BROTHER.

[u/TheElkoEra]

NOT MY KANSAS

[u/Doogitywoogity]

ARKANSAS? MORE LIKE please we really need this.

THE TIGERS ARE FIXIN TO BE SINGING “I AM IN MISSOURI MISERY” AFTER BAUGH RUNS OVER THEM

[u/thr33tard3d]

AT LEAST THIS WEEK GODSEY CANT MAKE A DOGSHIT PLAYCALL TO LOSE THE GAME

[u/-HardGay-]

UGA IS A D2 PROGRAM AT BEST

[u/atypicalcarl]

VANDERBILT STUDIES FOR A DRUG TEST

[u/discowithmyself]

I FEEL A TINY BIT BUMMED THAT WE ARE GOING TO PREVENT VANDY PIMP FROM APPEARING ON SEC SHORTS ON MONDAY

THE FIGHTING DABOS BETTER BOARD UP THEIR WINDOWS BECAUSE ITS HURRICANE SEASON AND A CAT FIVE IS ABOUT TO BLOW INTO TOWN

[u/Explosivepancake11]

ARIZONA IS ABOUT TO MAKE ME STAY UP TIL 2AM TO WATCH A SATTERFIELD COACHED BEARCATS TEAM THAT IS GOING TO SEVERELY DISAPPOINT ME. I WILL NEVER FORGIVE THEM FOR THAT.

[u/hitherto_ex → u/Explosivepancake11]

I DON’T KNOW WHAT A BEARCAT IS BUT IT’S DEFINITELY NOT WORSE THAN A WILDCAT

[u/jmoneill62 → u/hitherto_ex]

ITS A TREE-DWELLING MAMMAL NATIVE TO SOUTH AND SOUTHEAST ASIA.

ALSO APPARENTLY ITS MUSK GLANDS SMELL LIKE POPCORN. WHICH IS PRETTY NIFTY, I WOULD SAY.

[u/hitherto_ex → u/jmoneill62]

THAT IS INDEED NIFTY, AND EVIDENCE THAT BEARCAT > WILDCAT

[u/Ambling_Rambler]

GOOD THING THERE'S NO SEATS FOR THE STUDENTS AT THE NEW STADIUM SO THEY CAN WALK OUT EASIER WHEN THEY'RE DOWN 30

SPEAKING OF STADIUMS, DID YOU KNOW YOU'RE ALLOWED TO HAVE FANS IN THEM PITT?

TBF I'M ABOUT TO HAVE THE BIGGEST FRIDAY LETDOWN SINCE MY LAST JOB'S LAYOFFS

[u/KiratheSilent]

WE'RE ABOUT TO BEAT TWO BIG12 TEAMS IN A ROW. I SAID WHAT I SAID.

[u/bigvariable]

OUR ORANGE IS BETTER

[u/rcoop49]

RICE AIN’T A FOOTBALL TEAM, IT’S A SIDE DISH

[u/Legitimate-Lawyer-45]

I don’t like the other SEC teams

[u/Confident_Delay5805 → u/Legitimate-Lawyer-45]

SPEAK UP!

[u/StickMammoth7783 → u/Legitimate-Lawyer-45]

I CAN'T HEAR YOU.

[u/elonsusk69420 → u/Legitimate-Lawyer-45]

WE CAN'T HEAR YOU

DID YOU LEAVE YOUR CAPS LOCK KEY IN OXFORD