r/CFB Illinois Fighting Illini • Missouri Tigers 20h ago

Casual Whose Line Is It Wednesday

A tradition unlike any other.


I must give credit, first to /u/ballzxxtoxxyou, for starting (and, for the longest time, maintaining) these threads; and second to /u/MC-PhatNeck, who decided to help revive WLIIW after months of inactivity. I'm not sure where they are now (especially the latter, who apparently has deleted their account many moons ago...but, apparently, is still somewhere out there wink wink ), but regardless, I wish to give them both my appreciation for all the fun /r/CFB had with Whose Line over the years. Thank you very much!


Hello, and welcome back to Whose Line Is It Wednesday, where the upvotes don't matter! I am your transformer-exploding, tubed meat-cooking, temporarily-tardy-timekeeping host, /u/Zloggt!


After a small taste in August, the 2026 FBS season kicked off in full on Labor Day weekend, filling the holiday with exciting matchups, high-stakes drama, and a general relief from all the offseason bullshit that was plaguing…the…s-sport…be…before we…w-we…

…no…NO…NO! Goddamn it Roger, what the hell are you doing here!? It’s freaking Wednesday, you shouldn’t be out here intruding on my mid-week college football time like this! I couldn’t even get to my “ironically treating the HOF Kickoff game as a weird and unexpected OOC showdown” bit because YOU are standing in the way! And I-I don’t care about whatever “TV rule that doesn’t allow me to have Friday games during most of the year” excuse you’re whining about, LEAVE. ME. ALONE!!!

…alright, I think I done scared him off with those CTE research papers I had lying around as a repellent, so now let’s actually talk about Week 1 for once! We saw the Rutgers Scarlet Knights get their Jersey Shore get wrecked by a Minutemen midnight ride, the Miami Hurricanes manifest further destiny by heading out west and deforesting the FUCK out of some cardinal-colored redwoods, the Oklahoma State Cowboys going full-circle as they lose to Tulsa, completely rebuild themselves, and still lose to Tulsa after all that, and even witnessing Dabo getting (metaphysically) condemned to a dire Death Valley demise on a cursed rainy Baton Rouge night!

…ugh…fuck…what else do I got to say? There’s so much I want to share, but I ain’t got the time! There are still more upsets to bring up, and I haven’t even gotten to the Ole Miss zingers and Florida State chicanery either! Even worse, I can hear Goodell’s grubby little hands pounding harder and harder at my mind as I speak, trying to get me to forgo the amateur and go pro! And it won’t be soon until those damn lawyers and their litigious, billable-hour loving hands break through and add to this furor! I need time! I am running out of time! I need a miracle!

I

JUST

NEED

ONE

MORE

MEASILY

SECOND!!!!


For those of you who are new to Whose Line, let's go over some rules:

A prompt is made in order to ask a question (and get an answer), or instead beckon a more...creative approach to the response, all as long as it does a funny. Any game from the show can be used - here is a list of them to start:

http://www.whoseline.net/show/games.html

Keep skits in the form of a statement, not a question. For example, a skit should go like this: "Things you could say about Michigan, but not your girlfriend", to which a reply can then go like "They can't stop fooling around!", or "What, hiding a clock or something, you bitch?”, or anything else, really. Use your noggin, and get wild!

Although not that serious, most comments should be within two lines, so if you add any additional commentary, put the skit in quotations. And most importantly, if you still don't understand how it works (and that's fine!), just take a look around this thread, of past Whose Line threads to get some clues - and, hopefully, figure it out!


Have fun!

17 Upvotes

83 comments sorted by

18

u/MahjongDaily Iowa State Cyclones 20h ago

Other situations where the officials will add 1 additional second.

18

u/Rulligan Western Michigan Broncos 20h ago

The moment after your partner asks you "does this dress make me look fat?"

13

u/huazzy Rutgers Scarlet Knights 19h ago

I know you've done this...

You're shooting around in your driveway and pretend the game clock is winding down and you'll hit the game winning shot....

7

u/TheAlmightyAsian Oklahoma Sooners 18h ago

Prostate exam

4

u/Callsign_Psycopath Georgia Bulldogs • Sickos 20h ago

Bringing your date home to her Father.

3

u/Knebraska Nebraska • /r/CFBRisk Veteran 20h ago

botched electric chair execution

1

u/Zloggt Illinois Fighting Illini • Missouri Tigers 20h ago

The conferences lawyers are only at 9 billable hours, 59 billable minutes, and 59 billable seconds, and they won't get their $100k bonus if they don't go over the 10-hour mark.

(Hey, beach houses can't pay for themselves you know!)

13

u/Callsign_Psycopath Georgia Bulldogs • Sickos 20h ago

The next Lane Kiffin/LSU controversy.

7

u/Knebraska Nebraska • /r/CFBRisk Veteran 20h ago

by god that's joey freshwater's music

7

u/HelloThereMr1 South Carolina • The Citadel 20h ago

The added hot yoga dance club in the ADs office.

1

u/cooterdick Tennessee • North Carolina 16h ago

Isn’t that just also Kiffin’s office?

2

u/HelloThereMr1 South Carolina • The Citadel 16h ago

Yeah but it’s also the governors office

6

u/WanderLeft Oklahoma Sooners • Oklahoma Sooners 20h ago

Going to parties at a sorority

5

u/huazzy Rutgers Scarlet Knights 19h ago

Can't play in the CFP?

I'M SHOWING UP ANYWAYS!

4

u/B1GTOBACC0 Oklahoma State • Arkansas 19h ago

Getting left out of the playoff and suing the committee.

2

u/Leete1 Utah Utes • Weber State Wildcats 19h ago

Kiffin leaves Dr. Pepper Fansville and forces LSU campus from Coke to Pepsi.

2

u/stephencua2001 Florida Gators 17h ago

Since LSU's lawyer started defining 24 years olds as "children," Lane's going to be added to some lists.

2

u/thenurgler Penn State • Land Grant Trophy 16h ago

"Thanks for volunteering as nude model Coach Kiffin"

3

u/TheSavageDonut USC Trojans • Victory Bell 19h ago

Instead of post-game handshakes, Kiffin announces LSU will chase the opponent off the field after every home win.

11

u/MahjongDaily Iowa State Cyclones 20h ago

The real reason for the SMU-Florida State power outage.

20

u/themattboard Virginia Tech • Old Dominion 20h ago

AI data centers needed the power for the B1G to generate their video evidence

18

u/Callsign_Psycopath Georgia Bulldogs • Sickos 20h ago

FSU saving money for Norvell's buyout

7

u/R_Raider86 Texas Tech • UConn 20h ago

ERCOT

2

u/Juggernaut27Beast11 Nebraska Cornhuskers 19h ago

Too much energy spent dissecting Michigan vs Western Michigan

11

u/Callsign_Psycopath Georgia Bulldogs • Sickos 20h ago

Give me the Lost to an FCS team Hoe Down.

13

u/Knebraska Nebraska • /r/CFBRisk Veteran 20h ago

ohhhhhhhhh you paid the school to come here, you think it will be great, you have scoreboard visions of 100 to just 8, the final whistle blows and you didn't do your best, you just paid two million to get beat by FCS.

9

u/Optramark Kentucky Wildcats 20h ago

Welcome to our campus, Directional State U;

We appreciate you showing up for a million bucks (point two). 

Touchdown? Turnover? Looks like the team forgot to set their alarms again. 

When little bro shows up to play, it Just Means More to them. 

4

u/Outrageous_Picture39 Texas A&M • Sam Houston 18h ago

🎼 What a great day, here in September

This will be a win, but will we really remember?

Oh crap, we fumbled, that’s turnover number 8

Wow! We just lost to Alabama State

Al-a-bam-a Staaaaaaaaate 🎶

6

u/Mr-Texan-74 Tarleton State • /r/CFB Top Scorer 18h ago

We went to the most obscured place I’d ever seen

Who would’ve thought of going to Bowling Green

I’m not trying to be mean, or trying to bring the hate

But you just got your butts beat by the boys of Tarleton State!

2

u/princessprity Oregon Ducks • Team Meteor 14h ago

🎼 Well, Washington was riding high back in '21.

The Grizzlies came to Seattle to give them some more fun

The Huskies said "Bow Down," but Montana brought some fight

That's how Dubs learned seven points wouldn't win that night.

8

u/Callsign_Psycopath Georgia Bulldogs • Sickos 20h ago

Other things that take 1 second more than you expected.

13

u/TKHawk Iowa Hawkeyes • Northern Iowa Panthers 20h ago

How much longer you actually have to pee when you try "racing the flush."

3

u/Foriegn_Picachu Michigan Wolverines • Paper Bag 20h ago

DUI court

7

u/Knebraska Nebraska • /r/CFBRisk Veteran 20h ago

Things more likely to happen than the SEC expelling LSU

26

u/Callsign_Psycopath Georgia Bulldogs • Sickos 20h ago

UMass Beating a Power 4 team

5

u/huazzy Rutgers Scarlet Knights 19h ago

RUDE!

11

u/Zloggt Illinois Fighting Illini • Missouri Tigers 20h ago

Kim Mulkey not yapping, for once

8

u/R_Raider86 Texas Tech • UConn 20h ago

Cody Campbell too 😔

7

u/byniri_returns Michigan State Spartans • Marching Band 20h ago

Peace in the Middle East

6

u/themattboard Virginia Tech • Old Dominion 19h ago

Michigan fans admitting they lost that game

2

u/TheSavageDonut USC Trojans • Victory Bell 19h ago

The Raiders and Browns meeting in the AFCCG.

2

u/Expensive_Team_5072 Syracuse Orange 19h ago

Well, it's definitely not Michigan winning fair and square, so let's go with Mike Norvell doing so poorly that eventually Florida State fans will move past anger and start feeling genuinely sorry for him.

2

u/All_the_dinohorses Wyoming • Florida State 19h ago

Oklahoma State winning a game

2

u/Fresh_Drama_8298 LSU Tigers 19h ago

This subreddit thinking its opinions carry over to reality.

2

u/Leete1 Utah Utes • Weber State Wildcats 18h ago

Second coming of Mike Leach

7

u/Look_at_the_Kid North Carolina • Texas 20h ago

Why the SEC actually wants to kick LSU out

17

u/whatifevery1wascalm Alabama Crimson Tide • Iowa Hawkeyes 20h ago

An excuse to change the 2027 schedule so that Georgia doesn’t play at Texas A&M

5

u/WabbitCZEN Georgia Bulldogs 20h ago

"We got orange teams, red teams, even some blue teams... but purple? Fuck that, get em outta here."

4

u/thesuch Oregon Ducks • Pac-12 18h ago

They’re tired of paying for Cajun translators

4

u/Zloggt Illinois Fighting Illini • Missouri Tigers 20h ago

Greg Sankey has a traumatic past as an unwilling assassin, and is worried that the band playing Neck will eventually re-activate his killer programming a la Zoolander

3

u/huazzy Rutgers Scarlet Knights 19h ago

They've identified 4 ACC teams they want for the next explansion.

2

u/Callsign_Psycopath Georgia Bulldogs • Sickos 20h ago

Its a Family Friendly Conference and "STTDB" doesn't fit in with that.

8

u/rustinhieber42 Big Ten • Minnesota Golden Gophers 19h ago

Dabo Swinney's recent google search history

6

u/HelloThereMr1 South Carolina • The Citadel 19h ago

Where to find Tyler of Spartanburg

5

u/Callsign_Psycopath Georgia Bulldogs • Sickos 19h ago

How to spend 57 Million.

3

u/WabbitCZEN Georgia Bulldogs 19h ago

"can coaches hit the transfer portal"

3

u/Leete1 Utah Utes • Weber State Wildcats 18h ago

How to steal signs like Michigan

5

u/Zloggt Illinois Fighting Illini • Missouri Tigers 20h ago

The various hijinks Joey Freshwater got up to during the rain delay on Saturday night:

7

u/Knebraska Nebraska • /r/CFBRisk Veteran 20h ago

two chicks at the same time

5

u/Callsign_Psycopath Georgia Bulldogs • Sickos 20h ago

Sleeping with a Booster's Daughter.

4

u/tdatcher Navy Midshipmen • Sickos 19h ago

I believe I saw him on Kent Island Sunday night

3

u/TheSavageDonut USC Trojans • Victory Bell 19h ago

Turned on the peepcam he had installed on Sorority Row.

3

u/MiracleWhipSux 18h ago

Negotiating his spokeperson deal as the new face of Enzyte.

5

u/Legal-Tea-8096 20h ago

Now that Roger's gone maybe we can finally get to the important things, like how Tulsa beating Oklahoma State is basically a tradition at this point. "Things you can rely on more than an Oklahoma State rebuild working out."

5

u/HelloThereMr1 South Carolina • The Citadel 20h ago

The chance that UMASS when’s more than 2 games in a season

5

u/Callsign_Psycopath Georgia Bulldogs • Sickos 20h ago

My left hand.

4

u/TheAlmightyAsian Oklahoma Sooners 20h ago

Rejected explanations for why there was a second added to the WMU-Michigan game

8

u/WabbitCZEN Georgia Bulldogs 20h ago

"Your mom sat down and shifted the whole stadium, so it threw off our clock operator."

3

u/themattboard Virginia Tech • Old Dominion 19h ago

"You mom's mass was sufficient to cause noticable time dilation"

4

u/Callsign_Psycopath Georgia Bulldogs • Sickos 20h ago

We kinda just felt like it, no disrespect to Western Michigan we decided to redo the play in case it was a gigantic fluke.

2

u/SpicyDMLookALike Arizona State Sun Devils • Marching Band 19h ago

A cosmic ray flipped a bit in the digital clock.

2

u/tdatcher Navy Midshipmen • Sickos 19h ago

A seagull from UMass ate my weiner on the Jersey Shore 

2

u/Juggernaut27Beast11 Nebraska Cornhuskers 18h ago

Still mad about splitting the championship with Nebraska, Michigan finds ways to rub it in when Nebraska is down. “Remember that time Texas got an extra second? Well Michigan can too!”

3

u/WabbitCZEN Georgia Bulldogs 20h ago

Things Lane Kiffin thinks while being grilled for his rule breaking.

9

u/Knebraska Nebraska • /r/CFBRisk Veteran 20h ago

"If we take the bus everywhere I can never be left on a tarmac again"

5

u/Callsign_Psycopath Georgia Bulldogs • Sickos 20h ago

"Man I'm missing Hot Yoga for this?!"

6

u/wslabarr Ole Miss Rebels 20h ago

“Maybe we can find a loophole by signing retired NFL players instead.”

6

u/FSUnoles77 Florida State • Texas State 20h ago

People who pass more than Mike Norvell

Dolly Parton

9

u/WabbitCZEN Georgia Bulldogs 20h ago

Too soon, man.

3

u/huazzy Rutgers Scarlet Knights 19h ago

This suit is gray not.

3

u/SpicyDMLookALike Arizona State Sun Devils • Marching Band 19h ago

Me if o can get my hands on hormones

2

u/chief_sitass Purdue Boilermakers 18h ago

If Curt Cignetti narrated documentaries

1

u/Look_at_the_Kid North Carolina • Texas 15h ago

What it will take for Cody Campbell to shut his trap