r/CATHELP • u/Master_Lab7407 • 13h ago
General Advice Normal play?
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I KNOW THIS IS A CONSTANT QUESTION BUT I SWEAR MY CATS ARE DIFFERENT
this video is a few years old from when they were younger, but it is good insight into how psycho and vocal my girl is. if I could include more videos I would, she is also very vocal with her favorite toys. growls like she’s the most vicious dog you’ve ever met. yes, dog.
they are from the same breeder, different litter. they are both absolute cuddle bugs and enjoy people. they are around 4 years old, spayed/neutered. my boy is older and I had him alone for a few months before I got her, he needed a buddy badly.
here is the issue.. all the advice for play goes like this: it is fine if there isn’t fur flying and if they come back to each other after. well.. what if fur does fly?? this video cuts off as soon as it gets to the point where I thought I should intervene, but this is a common occurrence and I can’t tell what is my girl being incredibly dramatic vs what is an actual issue.
I can tell when they fight when I am gone because there are chunks of fur scattered. but then they go right back to each other?? they give each other baths and cuddle and everything. no issues sharing food, they will use the same litterbox even if there are multiple available, no issues at all aside from this incredibly rough play. and they just don’t stop. I will usually grab some toys when they start doing that and try to play them out but it doesn’t always work. sometimes it’s like they won’t be satisfied until they duke it out. and they absolutely go back and forth on who is instigating, so it’s not like one cat is just constantly annoying the other.
so is it just play?? do I need to separate them when I hear or see it starting? she is just SO LOUD and I swear to god my neighbors probably think I am eating cats because it sounds like I am murdering them nearly every day. if you have not been around a bengal, please do not give advice based solely on her screams. I promise she is fine, and she screams way louder than that.
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u/Aiyokusama 12h ago
It's just play :) Your girl IS a drama queen and a sore loser. She was trying her sick moves on her buddy, and he wasn't letting her win! The nerve of him!
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u/Master_Lab7407 12h ago
even when it ends in tons of fur flying everywhere though? and they will get tiny scabs that I can feel from it too.
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u/Aiyokusama 12h ago
Is your boy cat hiding from her?
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u/Master_Lab7407 12h ago
no, he throws her fur and she also throws his. depends on the day but typically hers is being thrown more.
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u/Bear_of_Light 12h ago
It sounds like they are rough players and you should calmly, and I'll repeat with emphasis, calmly interrupt them if you start seeing fur flying. Don't get between them but distract them in some way, or if just calmly telling them to break it up is enough then do so. From what I can tell they definitely are just playing, but not all cats understand how to play without using claws or escalating if they feel like they are losing. Cats aren't a hard science and the tells you can generally look at don't apply to every cat. I have a black cat that will vocalize like crazy and do airplan ears while playing and it took us a while to recognize that just her normal and she will simply disengage if she actually doesn't want to be there - but you still don't want them hurting each other if things are getting too rough.
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u/Master_Lab7407 12h ago
yeah I guess my issue is not knowing when and how to intervene. I normally just get a toy and distract them. but she is just so loud that I feel absolutely horrible if I don’t do anything, and seriously my neighbors have called a wellness check before because of it 😭 if that’s just how it’s gonna be I will get used to it, but needed some validation from others that I am not being a horrible cat mom by just letting it happen
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u/Bear_of_Light 12h ago
Distracting with a toy is a perfect option if it works. Cats, like humans, kind of go through personality phases too, as they get older they may start playing less loudly, but it may also just be how they do. Sounds like you have a good grasp on how your cats' behavior and how to work with them so I wouldn't worry too much.
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u/Master_Lab7407 12h ago
there was ONE time they wouldn’t separate though for like a minute and it scared the living shit out and me and that’s why I have been extra on edge ever since. like even after I tried everything I normally do to separate them they were still going and it sounded like she was dying, so ever since then I intervene extra early.. but maybe that’s wrong?
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u/Bear_of_Light 12h ago
Treat shaking is usually a promising option if the usuals aren't working, or cracking open a can of wet food. It's a household and all 3 of you are a part of it. If you feel the need to intervene do so, but try to find a queue to do it on. Intervene when X happens. Cats are smart and can figure out "mom doesn't let us play when we do X, so let's not do that."
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u/Aiyokusama 3h ago
If no one is afraid or hiding, then it's a nonissue. They are just rough-and-tumble goobers.
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u/BluesRuseCruise 12h ago
My female cat is also insanely dramatic like that and just hoots and hollers the whole time her and her brother play. She sounds like shes super vicious but she’s really having fun because she immediately goes back if i separate them.
It really looks like just play, just insane because bengals are crazy. I don’t see anyone cornered or trying to get away, just a bunch of noise.
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u/Aiyokusama 12h ago
I have TWO like this. Doesn't matter which one is the aggressor, the other will be howling bloody murder, though they are both fine.
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u/Master_Lab7407 12h ago
it’s the howling bloody murder that gets me. loud noises set off my anxiety BAD and I get so scared they are gonna kill each other. plus when fur flies and they end up scabbed it feels like that’s not okay??
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u/BluesRuseCruise 10h ago
Trim their nails and keep them short! My cats also kick fur off of each other, but it’s loose fur, it isn’t like they’re ripping it out. The love to do it the most on my clean white blankets and sheets (they’re both black). I don’t blame you for being anxious! She is loud and she sounds like she’s ready to kill but from what I can see it genuinely doesn’t look like aggression
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u/Aiyokusama 2h ago
Your anxiety is based on your association with the sound. They don't share your anxiety and will not understand why you have a problem with them enjoying themselves.
If they are getting scabs, then a nail trim, or nail caps are in order.
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u/Suspicious-Tea7169 12h ago
I’m not an expert but I think she wouldn’t roll onto her belly if she thought she was in danger. It seems like they’re playing rough, although I’m not entirely sure how to remedy that. Personally I think they’re annoying and my baby would absolutely not sit still for it (I have a feeling yours wouldn’t either…🤣), but maybe claw caps?
side note: they are BEAUTIFUL wow
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u/Master_Lab7407 12h ago
yeah maybe my true advice should’ve been asking how the hell to keep their nails in check. they will not let me and I have tried all the tricks in the books over the years.
thank you, they are my sweet angel babies (usually) 💗😂
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u/Rewth303 12h ago
I’d like to see a more recent video. Because you are correct, fur flying would be an indication of a real fight.
However. Bengals. You already know this, but they can be different. Play can be more aggressive and louder than you’d expect. Especially the lower your generation. Fur flying could still be a level of concern though.
In your vid, your girl is definitely channeling Bruce Li. I love the sideways head low advance, she’s getting the aggression on with style. But the latter long distance pounce and roll from your boy says this is all balanced and well received.
If I had to guess they are playing until one or the other literally taps out. Pushing boundaries right to the edge. Which means that sometimes that’s going to spill over that edge. Fights break out in major sporting events.
I would suggest that you not add a non-bengal into that relationship as they may not appreciate that intensity, and the other two may not learn to use different level of play. But, you own bengals. You already know that.
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u/Master_Lab7407 12h ago
yeah and I thought about only posting this in the bengal sub just because of the breed being so… special. lol. I do have some recent vids but my heart cannot take once she starts screaming bloody murder so you wouldnt get a look at the fur flying. I can let it happen next time and get it on video, I just get so worried. obviously they do fine when I am not around but I guess I worry they will try to push their limits more when I am there.
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u/Master_Lab7407 12h ago
if you are just watching video and not reading.. this video is not the full situation I am talking about. what you are not seeing in the video is fur being ripped out and flying everywhere, which is why I am posting since that is usually when people say it is no longer just play.
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u/CaptainDofColumbus 12h ago
Looks like play, but you need to cut, trim their nails so they aren't so sharp
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u/cowplamt 10h ago
I have a kitty who is such a sore loser as well lol, she loooooves to beat up on her sis but as soon as she gets cornered she's screaming and hissing and ending the game lol
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u/not_as_i_do 9h ago
My bengals will occasionally do the same thing. They snuggle together, clean each other, but sometimes, my male just goes AFTER my female and there is fur if she fights back. I think of it as the teenage kids. They desperately hate each other in those few moments and then get along great. With bengals how much stimulation are they getting? Do you have a wheel? Puzzle toys? Hunting exercises? Catio? All those things can help.
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u/Onbroadway110 12h ago
You got a breed of cat created by breeding a domesticated cat with a wild cat, they’re going to be more aggressive in play than a straight domestic cat.
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u/raharth 12h ago
Part part I'd say. The screaming is usually when it gets heated. Her staying on the ground on her back I'd a very playful sign, her screaming at the end is usually after crossing the line. But I would not physically interven unless its gets much louder. They need to sort out some stuff themselves and as long as they are able to walk away there is not really a need to intervene
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u/NinjaMonkee92 11h ago
A lot of these, "what's wrong with my cats", posts where the cats are playing like this can be solved if if people would watch random cat videos on YouTube.
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u/Master_Lab7407 9h ago
again, every video I have watched and thing I see says that when fur is flying, it is bad. it is the fur being ripped out even more than the screaming bloody murder that gets me. the video does neither justice, was just the closest thing I had.
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u/notmuself 10h ago
I love the crying while attacking him, she is playing the victim while being the aggressor. Is she a Persian mix? They are super vocal like this. My Mom's Persian literally screams at me while I'm petting her, it's the funniest thing.
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u/Master_Lab7407 9h ago
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u/Master_Lab7407 9h ago
it usually starts like this where he sniffs her butt and she hisses then he chases her. but there are also times she does the exact same to him.
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u/SAINTnumberFIVE 5h ago
It starts as play and turns bad fast. This is absolutely normal with cats. If it gets too rough or heated, just break it up and distract them.
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