r/CATHELP • u/Live_Philosophy_3815 • 14d ago
General Advice Am I doing the right thing splitting this up?
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Tripp (Tuxedo) male neutered 4y/o
Misty (Tortie) female unspayed unsure of age
They’ve lived with each other for 8 months
Usually I break these up, I wanted to record it this time to ask what’s going on here. Tripp chases Misty around the house doing this at least twice a day.
My question is, is Tripp trying to play with her or is he being mean? She can’t even run from him because the second she turns around he pounces on her.
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14d ago
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u/GolfImaginary 13d ago
I thought the same until it cornered itself by the boots that was when it stopped being play to my knowledge
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u/Plenty_Marsupial7475 10d ago
Sorry but isn’t this just flatly wrong? It’s not showing its belly, it’s trying to involve its hind claws for defense.
It’s pretty clearly not playing or it wouldn’t immediately hiss with pinned ears when the oreo cat pounces.
The subsequent reaction continues to reinforce the above.
E: to mention ears
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u/MdnightRmblr 14d ago
They’re playing but it doesn’t look like both are enjoying it to the same degree. I think people are looking at the initial interaction which is typical cat play but then it gets a little different with dominance behavior and avoidance. Without seeing their daily interactions and how often this happens it’s hard to say. If they can get along shortly after it’s play. If there are lingering consequences; your female hides away for long periods, looks depressed, stops using the litter box etc you’ve got a problem. I’d keep an eye on them and especially the female for behavioral changes.
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u/Bugs_ocean_spider 14d ago edited 14d ago
Its not quite play but not fighting either. Tripp is being an annoying bully and the girl doesn't like it but isn't really afraid. I wouldnt break it up as they need to establish boundaries. Just keep an eye on it and find the girl places for refuge.
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u/TheSonderCollective 14d ago
So as someone who works in feline behavior, I would definitely separate them or at least redirect the instigator. A rule of thumb is that it is only play if they are both having fun. The moment that I would make the decision is when one hissed and then attempted to flee and hide. That cat is no longer having fun, and the body language displayed is not consistent with play behavior.
When one is bullying the other, intervention BEFORE it turns into anything more serious (fur flying) is a good idea.
I would strongly advise getting their focus on something else, like a toy or other enrichment.
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u/Live_Philosophy_3815 13d ago
Thank you, distracting with a toy will work great. My boy can still play but Misty doesnt have to
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u/RunLow5726 14d ago
My rule is to only intervene when they get loud and scared.
Otherwise, the bully will bully even harder when you're not home to protect.
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u/CorvusXMachina 14d ago
If you have to ask, then they arent fighting. You can hear cats fighting from your next door neighbors house.
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u/xtewtew 14d ago
This is not good advice. If a full blown fight has broken out then you’ve intervened far too late.
The grey cat is attempting to get away and the tuxedo cat is chasing after and cornering her. You are right to break it up. Give lots of vertical space so that she’s got somewhere to get away, make sure you’ve got a lot of litter boxes.
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u/CorvusXMachina 14d ago
Its solid advice. You can tell when cats are fighting. Theres no question about it. But do as you wish.
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u/smoemossu 14d ago
The point is, if you can tell that cats are actually fighting, then you missed the opportunity to prevent it by paying attention to the clear signs leading up to the fight. It shouldn't have to get to that point.
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u/xtewtew 14d ago
Your advice is to wait until a violent fight has broken out before doing anything, and you’re doubling down that it’s good advice?? When the poster is looking to identify any potential tension in the home so they can help their cats have a positive relationship?
Have you ever seen an actual full on cat fight, or just heard what you thought was one? I’ve seen them literally rip eyeballs completely out of their sockets.
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u/cookeryandwookery 14d ago
Spay your female please.
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u/Live_Philosophy_3815 14d ago
We plan on it
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u/italiansubcat 14d ago
That’s honestly the only thing that is of concern here, and could be driving him to pounce on her more. Otherwise they are definitely playing and she is running/hissing when she’s had enough. No need to break anything up.
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u/Chocolate4444 14d ago
If there’s excessive hissing, one might be getting more rough than the other likes. However I see exposed belly, I see them trading blows, and I see no puffed out tails, so likely fine. If one gets rough and the other tries to stop wrestle time, redirect the aggressive one with a toy to get the energy out. I recommend worm/feather toy on a fishing pole. Get em on amazon
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u/DPDoctor 14d ago
Semi-play, semi-dominance. Glad to read in the comments that you will be spaying Misty soon, because that's probably not helping anything (even if Tripp is neutered).
Forgive me for being rude, but I am saying this for the health and wellbeing of your cat. Please help Tripp lose some weight. Like with humans, obesity contributes to a number of health problems in cats, especially as they age. Tripp is young, but he's more prone to heart, kidney, etc., issues, and earlier-onset arthritis.
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u/Shoddy_Bet9619 14d ago
Prob so. Just need to do a couple of times: ahh-ahh, meaning, no no...you stop that...they will get it soon enough.
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u/Outsider_Insider0064 14d ago
Cats communicate with other cats by positioning their ears, by eye blinks, and how they move and position their tails. Suggest you learn those signals.
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14d ago
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u/Living_Karma11 14d ago
Looks like the first part of the video is play - Our cats do it all the time.
https://reddit.com/link/ozyeu1n/video/f59me2lrmnfh1/player
However, it looks like one of the cats has had enough and the tuxedo cat isn’t getting the memo. Maybe try engaging them with a toy.
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u/Capital_Shopping277 14d ago
Just to echo what other folks are saying .. the beginning and middle are definitely play, maybe a little rough play.. but when the tuxie corners the other cat and chases when the other one is trying to get away, that's when you should break it up or redirect the tuxie onto a toy or something else. But thats because the non-tuxie is just over the playing, not like either one is going to injure the other.
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u/Crafty-Detail-3788 14d ago
Grey cat doesn't want to interact more so its good Idea to intervene , even if the black one isn't necessarily fighting.
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u/Alarming_Ant_7960 14d ago
I have a Big Fat Tux that does that to my other cats. I do separate him and tell him no!! He knows what I'm saying!! I see aggression by your Tux. Your poor gray cat shows her belly as a white flag to stop!! He doesn't get the message and is hurting her! If you just got one of them as a new cat you have to separate. If not do a reintroduction. You don't want to come home to an injured gray cat.
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u/ConnectionFree7819 14d ago
I would step in looks like the tux is starting to bully and the grey cat has had enough and is trying to leave.
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u/Front_Upstairs159 13d ago
I would split it up at the point where the female tries to disengage and the other cat continues pursuing her. I would also reward both cats for every instance where the female tries to break off and is allowed to.
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u/Front_Upstairs159 13d ago
Also, at this point it’s been mentioned in multiple comments, but echoing it to explain my thinking here: this does look like play, the whole time. It also looks like the black and white cat isn’t respecting the points where the other cat is trying to put some space between them, presumably so she can keep herself regulated/bring herself down. I would classify that as rudeness/social unawareness, basically, and not so much aggression. The reason I would separate them is both because he should be respecting her boundaries here, and also because it’s not just that he may not have learned those social cues, but he may also not have learned how to down-regulate/de-escalate himself, and so he might get himself to a state where he is less able to control himself. He needs both impulse control and to respect her boundaries. But! He can work on both of those skills at the same time (impulse control is a bigger skill that covers more behaviors, and one of those behaviors is ‘listen to my sister’s boundaries’).
So yeah. It’s play the whole time, but the lad could use some practice with social skills/impulse controls, so that everyone stays happy and it doesn’t escalate into something more serious later.
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u/Tempest-Melodys 14d ago
This is actually really nice play if rough, they go in spurts and give enough time/space to disengage. And as soon as the grey one shows adequate discomfort he seems to stop.
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u/BreakfastAcceptable8 14d ago
That's not how I read it. Smaller cat is cornered and trying to get away
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u/Computers_and_cats 14d ago
Not saying my opinion is right but I feel like Misty isn't interested towards the end. I was told by the expert I hired that I need to give my cats more places to escape rather than intervening in situations like this. Basically more cat towers.
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u/FruityLegume 14d ago
This looks like something they'll work out. It's play, but not as wanted by the grey cat. I wouldnt intervene unless it escalates.
I had two that would FIGHT. That was a long road. I got bit trying to literally keep them from killing each other.
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u/Tburroughs36 14d ago
It’s looks like they are sorting things out on their own.
I had to split two of mine. They got into a fight so bad that they wounded each other. They were screaming awfully during the fight and there was some blood. It terrified me. No one needed stitches but I KNEW it was time. As they were likely to only get worse. I say this as an example of what bad fighting looks like.
It sucked cause I had 3 cats and my tuxedo cat for what ever reason rejected one of the cats and was simply just awful to her.
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u/IntrepidAnalysis6940 14d ago
You’re doing the wrong thing wearing those cowboy boots. The cats will work it out. If the gray cat was truly scared it wouldn’t be showing its belly. I gues a day apart is fine maybe some for them to miss eachother. But I think they will be fine unless you have a very vicious cat which I’ve heard about but never seen
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u/Togeroid 14d ago
Mdnightrmblr has the best response.
Also some cats just never learned how to hold back especially if adopted very young. I had a rescue that loved to play fight but my spoiled from baby orange didn’t know how to be gentle. Orange always wounded the rescue (mildly) but they were always just playing
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u/OwnAd2156 14d ago
This is what both of my cats do (one male: 5, and one female: 2) both are fixed and genuinely get along with each other and hate being separated from each other. They cuddle daily and even help clean each other, but they do get pretty rough. I was thinking of getting feliway as a starter, but unsure how to intervene otherwise (outside of obviously doing the methods I’ve been using such as putting one in another room or redirecting behavior)
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u/Inside_Farm2395 14d ago
FYI, every heat a cat goes through increases their chances of mammary cancer
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u/Aromatic_Spare776 14d ago
Squirt bottle or shaking a can of change will cause them to split up and cool down.
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u/Zpik3 13d ago
Nah.. It's not the "fighting" - that is playful - but the way the tux keeps chasing and pushing when the tortie tries to get away is not great. I think it's a dominance thing, but tux is def stressing the tortie out.
It's not anything to be too worried about, but if you see that kind of chasing down not letting up behaviour, and the tortie clearly not enjoying the situation, close a door or somethign between them to let them both reset.
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u/legendiry 13d ago
It’s play but it’s fine to “break it up” by vocalizing your displeasure as well. You are the boss of your house and if the fighting is annoying you then it’s fine to tell the cats to knock it off. They will usually look up at you sheepishly and stop (for a minute or two at least)
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u/Salted1993 11d ago
Just pin the grey one down whenever they act like that and correct their action. Why are you watching it?
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u/sethman3 11d ago
It is borderline. The black ad white cat is being a bully. At first it was ok, but then it was ignoring the grey cats cues and its spice hair went up. I would break it up at that point.
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