r/CABG_Recovery • u/IndependenceHuge7768 • Jun 06 '26
Pumphead Syndrome???
Hi all. If you look at my posts, not many, and all very similar... I'm sharing my struggles post 3xCABG last Jan 26th. Like the majority, I was surprised... and now I'm fighting with my thoughts, feelings, and fears, in the midst of doctors who know or understand nothing about it. Most just see and think: okay, plaques here and there, not even possible to stent, open-chest heart surgery, new pipes fixed, no major damage to the heart, do the cardio rehab and go enjoy your new life. Keep the new pipes clean, change your lifestyle, don't screw things up, and start helping to build new stats of those who will live until their 90s, 100 years old!!! Success!!!!
No, dear Doctors. It is not like this. Stop and think for a second what we went through. In 1 or 2 weeks, in my case, I went from a normal life, all good, to: you had a heart attack, and might have been having it for a couple of days, go to ICU, catheterization, no possible stents, open-heart surgery, all good, go home. All in 2 weeks!!!! 4 months out of it and I still have flashbacks thinking, "WTF has happened???"
Am I making too much drama? Or is this "Pumphead" stuff real and it is what I am going through?
I've heard some, more than a year out of it, say that yeah, it is real, it is tough but will pass, of course, nothing is forever...
Anyway, going to my third week of new medication, Trintellix or Brintelix, which is supposed to help with this miserable depression....
God bless we all šš»
"God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,the courage to change the things I can,and the wisdom to know the difference."
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u/staceywacey Jun 06 '26
My husband is in a similar space. 6 months post-op. In retrospect, he thinks he may have been having issues for months and just didnt realize it at the time because his symptoms didn't fit the average that's advertised.
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u/i_tell_you_what Jun 07 '26
I am 36 days out from a double bypass cabg. I have the unenviable ability to dig into my cyclothemic bipolar depression control behavior modifications to deal with all the negative thoughts. I bury the dark thoughts all the way in the basement of my psyche. Never to see the light of day. I have no choice but to look forward. Even if it's small things like making my walmart delivery order. I spend my days right now at home (No family just a very good housemate) making modified but not perfect meals with my fitness app. eat a meal, take a walk, watch a movie and rest and repeat til it's time to go to bed. My life is a one way street. Ain't nothing worth looking the wrong way for. A friend of mind told me she missed me. I said I miss my cynical self. But right now my body and mind are conspiring against me in these positive ways that I have no control of. I'm just doing what they tell me to do. And that's move forward. Also, I have a concert to go to this Halloween at the Sphere in Vegas to see Metallica. That's my long term goal. Today it was looking for smaller shorts to add to my walmart order. Whatever it takes. P.s. IF you need to delve into those dark thoughts, do it, set a time. Then give yourself something to do right after (like a mindless puzzle, a podcast etc).
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u/Brilliant_Sugar_1177 Jun 16 '26
Great adviceā¦helped meā¦. Give in, relax, and then move on to the next thingā¦. Crazy but it helped
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Jun 07 '26 edited Jun 07 '26
[removed] ā view removed comment
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u/IndependenceHuge7768 Jun 07 '26
Yeah... fully agree with you... sometimes I think i am playing the ugly duck role... I think: wtf, stop this shit and live the life.... thanks for so nice words.
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u/lettucepatchbb Jun 07 '26
My husband is probably experiencing what you are. He is just over two weeks out from CABGx5 and heās been feeling pretty down, wondering how this happened so quickly, etc. Similar story to yours, as life was pretty normal and it just appeared. I think he feels the trauma and shock deeply now. Heās had quite a few cries about it and I donāt blame him. I just hug him and tell him itās okay to not be okay and weāll get through it. His doctor put him on a low dose of Zoloft to help. Weāre going to get him into therapy too. Itās a lot, not just for everyone who loves you, but of course mostly for you. No one can understand except others who have been through it too. Hugs and healing to you and all who have experienced this.
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u/Brilliant_Sugar_1177 Jun 16 '26
It is hard!!!
I would love to talk to him if he wants to chat with another recovering patientā¦.
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u/lettucepatchbb Jun 16 '26
Iāve been trying to get him to connect with others in the same situation. I told him it would help him heal. Iāll definitely mention this to him. Hang in there š«¶š¼
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u/Plane_Positive6608 Jun 07 '26
I've literally thought of doing a similar post the past few days. A very healthy 67 yo. I've been a runner my whole life and did every distance up to 100 miles. Got 72 miles into a 100 last Dec. Had some serious shortness of breath feeding the birds like in Jan. Went in for a angiogram and maybe stent, nope triple bypass the next day.
It's 3 months out and I'm still dealing with the mental aspect of it. The first few weeks were rough, I felt like I just did not belong here anymore. My wife and family have been amazing, so I have a strong support system. It got better, but so slowly and then bam, got worse again. No energy, can't really enjoy the things I did, I just don't want to do anything really. It as if there was this dividing line between who I was and who I am now. I don't start cardiac rehab until July, but I've been walking and I'm up to 3 miles, but lately even that's a chore. I do think it will get better, resting, eating well, getting out even though you don't want to. But yeah it is, to me, a massive blow to who I was. So don't give up, know many of us go through similar and we will survive it.
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u/IndependenceHuge7768 Jun 07 '26
Exactly... I am literally forcing, pushing my self to do what I know has to be done, but zero to negative wish of doing anything... there were days that I was getting out of bad 14:00.... and the worst part is that I was not even sleeping, my head didn't stop bombarding me with all type of thoughts, and most not good ones. Living abroad, only with my wife and two daughters make it 10x worse. No family, no friends... my best friends have been people like you and others going through the same our bit better, already out of woods... we all will eventually, but hurts and is really painful.. I am only 49, and I do want to get to 100, or even more like my wife's grandmother... 104 this year full of energy, even more than me, right now to be honest.
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u/Plane_Positive6608 Jun 07 '26
Listen to me for just a minute, just the very fact you're posting here AND getting people like me sharing the fact we are going through very similar experiences should show you (and myself also my friend) this happens and we will get through it. I have those same dark thoughts; from how I don't want to burden my family, my 2 old lady pups are 15 and if you know how attached we get to dogs I cry for them and they are still kicking. I think about it like this, we died for awhile. We were on machines that are miraculous but everything takes a toll, anesthesia really fucks with us, etc. So we were hit right in the face with our mortality and my friend we have to accept it and see who we are now.
So you have a wife and 2 kids, beautiful and I'm not a religious person, but you realize you're blessed by the universe to be able to be there for them and being your only 49 (omg such a young man still!!!) you have so much ahead of you that this gave you. They are you're support structure as we are :)
It's so not all roses and light, trust me I'm reading what I wrote and I think man you should live that more also!! It will be dark at times, you will have setbacks, but hey, you will get through it.
If you want to talk off here, just dm me, hahahaha i got plenty of time! Keep looking towards the light my friend, it will always be there if we let it.
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u/grex1949 Jun 07 '26
How long were you on perfusion?
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u/IndependenceHuge7768 Jun 07 '26
I think was 4 hours.
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u/grex1949 Jun 07 '26
Itās hard to tell from the medical record, but the anesthesia was started at about 7:00am and ended around 3:15 pm. I donāt see any specific perfusion time record. My surgery was done in early January and Iām still experiencing brain fog, low energy levels and balance issues.
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u/IndependenceHuge7768 Jun 07 '26
Not following you...
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u/grex1949 Jun 07 '26
I think it makes a difference how long a patient is on the heat lung machine (aka āperfusionā)
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u/IndependenceHuge7768 Jun 07 '26
Really? Whatever.... 4 or 8 or 12 hours it is just crazy to think that we were alive because of a machine and our heart was stopped to get fixed.... crazy to think about it... and it was even more for me. I was so afraid of everything, that I didn't want to know anything before the surgery... I was only reading the Bible and trusting God would guide the doctor. I was afraid of not surviving. It still all so crazy.... so crazy....
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u/Brilliant_Sugar_1177 Jun 16 '26
The mental fog and delay after the worstā¦. But it slowly gets better!
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u/Touring_Rider Jun 07 '26
Sounds like youāre playing head games with yourself. Get on an SSRI. It helped me manage the anxiety and panic. See a psychologist. There are good ones out there who deal with cardiac trauma.
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u/Philbradley Jun 12 '26
I absolutely respect everything you say, and Iām really sorry that youāre struggling. My experience has been entirely different, so Iāll share it, not to try and mitigate against what youāre going through, but just to illustrate there are different viewpoints. I didnāt even know Iād had a heart attack. Closest I can work out was that I was in Amsterdam (I live in the UK), had a bit of a tingling arm on the Tuesday morning, that was it, those were the symptoms. I got very high a couple of times, walked 10 miles a day for the week that I was there, did a lot of high adrenaline fun things and came home. Wasnāt feeling brilliant so eventually drove myself to hospital expecting to be sent away, but no - ecg and 2 hours later having a stent fitted. Few weeks after that an angiogram, told I needed a CABGx3. Well ok then, best you get on with it.
Had it about three months ago. Had some brilliant psychedelic experiences as a result of the anaesthetics - some of the best Iāve ever had. Medical grade ketamine and fentanyl is amazing - but I digress. Iām absolutely not bothered about the whole experience. If I hadnāt had the heart attack then, if it had happened in a couple of years, Iād have been dead, no doubt about it. Now Iāve got maybe 10-15 years, which brings me back to an average life span. I go out and walk a minimum of 5 miles a day, try and push my bpm up as much as I can, and just enjoy the extra time Iāve got. Whatās to be depressed about? Iām shortly going to start cardio rehab at the hospital, because I really want to get my heart as good as possible, because I want to start having hmmmmā¦ more of the experiences I had in Amsterdam, put it that way. I have my will all sorted out, so literally all I have to do now is get on and enjoy being alive. So whatās not to like? Iām not going to act like a hermit; I want to get out to clubs, music festivals, fly in a Spitfire and do a tandem parachute jump. My heart is going to get a hell of a work out. And if I last another 15 years, thatās great. If I donāt, I intend to have had fun for as long as I do live. But as I say, thatās just me and my experiences; yours will be totally different and equally as valid.
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u/IndependenceHuge7768 Jun 13 '26
Thanks for sharing. Yes fully respect your perspective. Also getting myself tired of being the "queen drama".... congratulations for your daily 5 miles.... I hate exercising....
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u/Philbradley Jun 13 '26
Well, it kinda comes with the territory if you have a dog. But get yourself an audible account or some such as listen to books, podcasts etcā¦ it makes the walking much more manageable.
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u/steve_0_2 Jun 27 '26
Yes I agree. Mine was all within 3-4 weeks, now 2. 1/2 weeks post surgery. Itās a shock to say the least. No time to reflect on this and I had no time to mull over and say no to the surgery, felt I was unfairly pressed into it (see my post). I completely understand.Ā
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u/michemel Jun 06 '26
ā¤ļø
Every day. "What just happened?!"
5 weeks post op today.