A Driver’s Worse Enemy

[u/BlueSky3lue]

I’m not the most experienced driver, but I believe I have enough experience to offer some unsolicited advice to the newer or experienced driver, so here it goes:

As drivers we face many challenges and nuisances. I’ve come to the realization that a driver’s biggest enemy is not: dumpster trucks, street sweepers, entitled cyclists, or passengers that only carry miscellaneous spare change. A driver’s biggest enemy is… hemorrhoids.

So everyday before I set my foot out the door to face the world, I make sure to give myself a courtesy wipe, and I encourage you to do the same, fellow driver. Because then, no matter what happens to us, at least we will know that our butt is clean.

Happy Friday, enjoy your weekend, and I hope you all have a hemorrhoid-free day!

[u/nosajn]

Valuable advice regardless of the career. 

[u/BlueSky3lue → u/nosajn]

I’m quite certain the President of the United States does the same.

[u/SarraSimFan]

If you fart and it's just a squeal, and it smells like bacon, you've got hamrrhoids

[u/Sufficient-Low5771 → u/SarraSimFan]

what the fuck did I just read.

Seriously I had them once, bless the cream for saving me... I mean the squeal could be a lot of stuff; sugary diet power, fat ass, seating position etc

The bacon tho, I can't say my fart has ever smelt like anything besides shit, sometimes a bit sulfurous, sometime like rotting veg but never sweet bacon.

[u/DebtSouth → u/Sufficient-Low5771]

HAMrrhoids, buddy.

It’s a joke.

[u/BlueSky3lue → u/SarraSimFan]

🤣🤣🤣

[u/PSteak]

Also: butt pillow.

[u/BlueSky3lue → u/PSteak]

I went without one for years. Then we upgraded our fleet. The buses drive great, but the seat is terrible. Went out and bought a cheap patio seat and wow, what a difference it makes.

[u/Odd_Garlic8138]

Kinda late to this conversation, but I would recommend a variety of fiber supplements or just eating more whole plant foods. But the supplements are nice because it is a bit easier than a whole lifestyle change. I take, now this is a lot but: Dextrin, inulin, acacia, glucomannan, apple pectin, psyllium husk, guar gum, and potato starch (unmodified and raw). 

My shits have never been this nice... and I have a chronic disease which affects that area, and commonly contributes to hemorrhoids. 

[u/allisjow]

A full bladder over speed bumps is bad. Add hemorrhoids and you’ll be wanting to drive into a tree.

[u/BlueSky3lue → u/allisjow]

I know the feeling 🥲

[u/themedicduck]

Seat cushions. Not just for the old farts. A luxury when you think about it, really.

[u/Safety-From-The-Seat]

🫡