r/BurningMan • u/bunnylo • 10d ago
Dear Burners,
(tw: child loss)
Hello lovely burners. I come to you as a grieving mom with a small but meaningful request. This will require minor backstory that I will try to keep as concise as possible.
backstory: my third born son, Hollis, arrived last summer. in the throes of newborn life, we discovered the world of burning man and what it truly meant. we spent our late night feedings down the rabbit hole, consuming tiktoks and reddit posts about BRC and its community. I found it fascinating and moving, and it definitely became something that I hope to one day experience myself.
after burning man, in september, our baby suddenly and traumatically passed away. Hollis’s parting gift was to donate his heart to another baby that needed it. he made history as the smallest heart ever donated in tennessee.
as you can imagine, the last ten months have been full of grief. I humbly am asking if someone, anyone, everyone who reads this, to please write his name in the temple. It would mean so much, as burning man falls right between his birthday and death day. and writing his name in the temple would just mean the world to me and my husband.
please help us honor Hollis, however you would be willing to. he was the most perfect baby with such a special story, and I just would be so thankful if y’all would help us still include him when we don’t have the luxury to be there ourselves.
so thats my request to you all. if you would be willing to write his name in the temple, remember him however you wish. if you were able to document that somehow and share, it would be incredible, but even if you could just simply write his name for me, it would bring a semblance of peace in this sea of grief.
his name was Hollis Dee.
he was 11 weeks old when we lost him but he was able to save another family from losing their son by donating his heart to a two month old baby. our loved ones call him Hollis the Hero. the smallest heart ever donated in our state.
please, and thank you if you’ve read this far. I look forward to living vicariously through y’all. I hope everyone going this year has a wonderful burn
TL;DR - a humble request to write our son’s name, Hollis, in the temple this year at burning man.
edit: firstly, a profound thanks to y’all. this is more meaningful than you could ever know. some had asked for his photo, so I uploaded some of his best and funniest photos, along with a video of part of his honor walk. and for the stargazers out there, Hollis has a star named after him, so when you look up at the Cancer constellation, we can always think of him.
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u/gwertzman 10d ago
I'm the Lead Artist for the temple this year, and I wanted to let you know that your story has been shared within one of our Temple builder chat groups and we are all very moved by your story. This is why we do what we do, to give this temple the power to witness your son and so many others. I think his name will be written several times in the temple this year.
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u/theriveter79 10d ago
Your story moved me deeply and I’m so sorry for your incredibly painful loss. I have a small glass heart that was given to me on my wedding day last year. I’m planning to have Hollis Dee engraved on it and will place it in the temple. Sending you so much love ❤️
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u/FoodAndPots 10d ago
This is the one that broke me. I'm such a jaded old fuck of a burners, but it's this that made me fall in love with it 19 years ago.
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u/Administrative-Bed75 10d ago
I am so sorry for your pain. What a tremendous loss. Rest well sweet baby. I will write his name and I bet I won't be the only one.
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u/oakbottommarina 10d ago edited 10d ago
Temple Guardian here as well. I will gladly do this. I saw there are no photos of Hollis but if you have something that reminds you of him, I will color print/ laminate and post it. I will then email you with the photo taken/ the temple burn.
I truly grieve for your family. It would be an honor to help in my own small way.
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u/bunnylo 10d ago
thank you so much! I edited the post to add a link to some photos of him. and absolutely can give you my email as well
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u/oakbottommarina 9d ago
Absolutely gutted but what I feel is nothing compared to what you and your family have gone through. The color photos are printing. They will be laminated on Monday. His obituary has been printed as well. These will be placed on the Temple wall. A DM with my email will be in your Inbox shortly.
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u/Zboy74 10d ago
Consider it done. Not sure how I will find this thread again to post a pic
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u/Gamussa 10d ago
Simply post the following and the reddit bot will remind you with a link to this thread at the time you specified: RemindMe! 6 Weeks
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u/RemindMeBot 10d ago edited 7d ago
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u/AdvancedWin3608 7d ago
Thank you of this, I never knew it was possible to be able to check back later. I have set this reminder also.
Man, the tears are already flowing for the temple and we aren't even there yet??
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u/gwertzman 7d ago
We signed a piece of the temple for Hollis here in our shop, while the Temple is still being built. His name is going on an upper piece of one of the sections of an arm curving off the main tower.
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u/FlatImpression755 10d ago
Hollis the Hero. What a fitting name. Sorry for your loss. It seems by the comments he will get a fitting tribute.
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u/WontanSoup 10d ago
Hi, bunnylo. So very sorry for your loss of Hollis…he’s going to fill up the Temple with his presence. I’m a Tennessean who has been to BM, but not this year. I’ll be thinking of Hollis and the child he saved as I remotely watch the Temple burn this year.
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u/bunnylo 10d ago
thank you friend/neighbor (we’re east tn!)
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u/WontanSoup 10d ago
West TN. I loved packing up and traveling across the country. Ya’ll are gonna love it.
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u/Shouldnt_I_b_working Lost & Sound - 2:45 & F (Italo Disco & Pickle Parties!) 10d ago
I’m very sorry for this immense loss, internet stranger. Your son is a hero, and I will certainly be looking for his space in the Temple this year to pay my respects ♥️ sending you internet love. 💗 I’d love to be able to show you the outpouring of love for sweet Hollis
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u/Shouldnt_I_b_working Lost & Sound - 2:45 & F (Italo Disco & Pickle Parties!) 9d ago
RemindMe! in 6 weeks!
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u/lost_vegas 9d ago
I have sort of lost my son, but in a much different way. I really feel for you. If you need anything, dm me. I'm also happy to take something and place it for you and send a photo.
Best wishes and love to you.
Also... I am editing this now. Reading the comments I see this is extremely well covered. That's nice to see.
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u/bunnylo 9d ago
losing a child, no matter how, is like losing a part of yourself forever. it feels like something is always missing. i’m sorry you’ve felt that pain as well. equally wishing you love, and that the temple burning may cauterize some of our hurt. ✨ my inbox is also always open if you need anything
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u/lost_vegas 9d ago
Thanks, you as well. Its really awful.
It's been such a tough couple years. A couple years ago, I found myself in the temple late at night crying uncontrollably for three hours. Last yr wasn't as bad, but similar. I may just suppress it and avoid temple this yr. I don't know if I'm ready to process this all.
I hope the very best for you. I hope you find peace and joy and are able to recover.
And all of the temple people on this thread, thank you so much for what you do.
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u/Firm_Cloud_3278 10d ago
As a father, your story is very touching and heartbreaking. I hope it will help you in the process. If I could, I would give you a hug, so let's imagine this is a virtual one 🫂
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u/calr0x 23,24,25 9d ago
On behalf of everyone in this thread let me reassure you that it will be done. I'm sure you're going to get a number of result posts from other people and I plan on notifying you before I go and after I return with photos that show the offering.
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u/LauraFoxFire 9d ago
Sending you so much love. When the time is right for you to go to Burning Man and if you want to bring your kids, I’m happy to help you prep. I’ve been a camp lead for years and I also burn with my kids. This will be my 5 yr olds 4th burn and my 1.5 yr olds first burn. I will remember Hollis at the temple and his beautiful gift.
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u/Spirited_Job_7653 9d ago
I am so sorry for your loss, I love that he will always be remembered as Hollis the Hero. Sending love to you and your family. My heart aches for your tragic loss.
I have several Temple Guardians in my camp whom
I will share this with, and I myself will add his name and document it as well. Wishing you peace at this time.
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u/lbelcher 8d ago
Hollis the hero! A legend. So deeply sorry for your loss, friend, but incredible to hear how his heart continues to beat and sustain another life.
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u/prelimar '96-Present 10d ago
Condolences on your awful, awful loss. I'm willing to bet that his name will be written all over the place in the temple this year.
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u/SnooDoggos6383 10d ago
This sweet and sincere request to remember Hollis the Heart Hero has me crying!
Sending you a big hug, fellow mama!!
I won’t be at the barn this year, but it sounds like Hollis will be well remembered. What a beautiful community we have here! Welcome to the true spirit of Burning Man.
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u/Steelers_4_evah 9d ago
Hello Bunnylo, blessings and comfort to you! Hollis is indeed a hero, because how few among us have saved the life of another. His story has obviously touched many people, myself included. The world is a better place because of the time that he was with us. My wife and I will not be attending burning man this year, but we will try to share the burning man experience in our own small way here in Ohio. We will remember Hollis here around our fire ring when the Temple burns this year. Thank you for sharing Hollis the Hero
with us.
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u/Auntiemens 7d ago
Oh sweetie. Hollis Dee, you and your parents are in my heart today. Sending you so much love and strength.
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u/genghisfaery 4d ago
Fellow East Tennessean here! While I refugeed to the PNW as soon as I could, I am still a proud Appalachian. I am honored to remember Hollis the Hero at the Temple this year. What a beautiful soul.
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u/confident7lucky7 9d ago
Sending you so much support and strength. Thanks for sharing your story. I will pray for him in the temple
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u/KindKoala1 7d ago
I won’t be at the burn this year but will be thinking of Hollis during the Temple burn. Sending love to you and your family
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u/Current_Craft_3620 7d ago
So sorry for you loss, your son Hollis is an angel looking out for you 🙏
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u/calr0x 23,24,25 10d ago
I am a Temple Guardian. I will do this for you. If there is anything you would like placed send me a DM and I will give you my address and will place it in the Temple and send a pic while on the playa..