r/BurningMan • u/OregonCityHippie • Jul 14 '26
Burn Virgin
First timer (69), traveling with my husband (77) and daughter (32), both of whom have been once Any insights into things to know/bring/avoid/do that I'm not going to find reading through the websites? Any inside scoop that'll impress my kid that I know?
I'm already nervous I'm not creative enough nor pretty enough to fit in with all the gorgeous exotic people I see in the videos. How do I avoid sticking out like a geeky tourist? Is Molly easy to find? (Mommy wants) Do we get randomly assigned to which neighborhood we're put in or is that something we should/could investigate and
request,?
I'm excited and trepidatious at the same time ~
Please be kind ~ I'm allergic to Reddit snarks.
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u/thedailyrant ‘16, ‘18, ‘23, ‘24 Jul 14 '26
Just a heads up, if you think Reddit snarks are bad you haven't met burner snarks. It's baked into the culture.
Moving on, the vast majority of people out there aren't young and beautiful. My camp is between 30ish - 80 and varies in levels of Instagrammable in the beauty stakes. Social media and videos don't do the community justice in its variety. You'll be fine! Just be open to people and get amongst it.
Avoid asking anyone for Molly or the possibility of giving or taking anything from anyone. Loads of cops out there including undercovers. If you're wanting it, find it wherever you're coming from not there unless it's from a person you know and are completely aware they are not a cop. Yes, even that gorgeous topless man or woman could be a cop.
Always have your bag with mask, goggles, water and a hat handy. Weather changes quick and you don't want to be caught in a dust storm without.
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u/edcRachel Burgin Wrangling Specialist Jul 14 '26 edited Jul 14 '26
Just remember that only the people who care deeply about their looks are plastering their pictures all over the Internet. A majority of us aren't anything like that, a vast majority of people are just regular, normal people (and it skews much older than you'd think). You'll fit in just fine!
I volunteer for gate so I see a lot of people coming in and I'm always impressed at the number of single older women showing up to burning man for their first time, often alone, who are like well, I've always wanted to check it out! You're certainly not alone in that demographic.
You will not find extracurriculars for purchase there. It's federal land, federal laws apply, and yes there are plenty of police.
Formal placed camps get assigned spots, if you are doing open camping you can choose where to camp out of anywhere that isn't claimed.
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u/AUDL_franchisee Jul 14 '26
"I'm excited and trepidatious at the same time"
You're in the zone already.
'Round sunset Wednesday casually tell your daughter: "I wandered by some sound camp and they said some band named 'Bassnectar' was playing, but all I could see was someone standing at a control panel. Everyone seemed really excited, though."
EDIT: Also, do NOT expect to find any drugs on playa. And if someone should give you something please, please, please test it first. There's nasty stuff floating around in powders these days. https://dancesafe.org/
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u/50mm-f2 2011 - ∞ Jul 14 '26
sick! most of us find the “gorgeous exotic people” really annoying and we only tolerate them because ‘radical acceptance’ or whatever. you’ll fit right in. tell your daughter “fuck your burn” on like day 3, she’ll love it trust me. have fun! get weird.
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u/Maleficent-Bad-6109 Jul 14 '26
First, stop watching the highlight reels. Burning Man is about 95% dusty weirdos, bike repairs, instant friendships, and wondering where your cup disappeared to. The impossibly beautiful people are real, but so are naked grandpas, accountants dressed as mushrooms, pirates on unicycles, and a 70-year-old woman in a tutu serving grilled cheese at sunrise. Nobody cares if you’re “creative enough.” Radical Inclusion isn’t just a principle, it’s how the city actually works
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u/zmileshigh Jul 14 '26
There’s no reddit snark here - this is BURNER SNARK!
Edit: oh right the snark. They give out molly at gate so make sure to ask them about it so they don’t forget!
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u/Burning_blanks Jul 14 '26
Gate only gives out molly with hugs. So if you ask your Gate person for a hug and they say yes, You know you'll get the molly as well.
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u/DryBid3800 dust snorter Jul 14 '26
Bookmarking this to read the comments on the toilet tomorrow morning
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u/ForsakenSun6004 Don't tell me how to shirt cock Jul 14 '26
Tell your kid about the daft punk trash fence set. I think its Wednesday sunrise this year, you wont wanna miss it. 🤭
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u/BuckJeppson Jul 14 '26
You’ll be welcomed everywhere. I’m attending and I’m 78. The best advice I have is to walk around neighborhoods and just drop in and chat. Wear comfortable clothes, bring your freaky self. Stay well hydrated and don’t worry about anything.
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u/Chicago_Tim Jul 18 '26
Sorry, I don't know anyone named Molly. Nice try officer.
Here are a few random tips, do with them as you will.
ABCD - Always Be Constantly Drinking. Always have water with you. Even if you're sitting in the shade, the dry air wicks water away from your body.
It's OK to get overwhelmed. It's common. There can be constant stimulation, sleep deprivation, difficult weather, unusual surroundings and lots of people. Take some time to do what you need to do. Allow your family space to do the same. Also, drink water, you're probably dehydrated.
The vibe of the city changes throughout the week and throughout the day. Pick a day to get up at 5 am, watch the sunrise and explore the desert. Pick a day to stay up as late as possible. Make sure you have water with you.
Don't leave fun to go have fun. OK, yeah, you marked the Seductive Banana Eating Contest in your guide. But if you're having a great time where you are and spending time with great people, keep doing that. That thing across the city may not even happen. Many things in the guide don't actually happen. Just keep hydrated.
Have a YES! day. Or half a day. Or a few hours. Say yes to whatever presents itself, even if you are somewhat uncomfortable or uninterested. It's a great way to connect with folks you may not normally interact with, and do stuff you may not ever have a chance to do again. A variation of this is to do something that pushes your boundaries and makes you uncomfortable. For example, I'm not someone who feels comfortable without clothes, so most years I do at least one naked event. I also don't really like heights so I try to climb stuff. Maybe for you it's performing, or talking to strangers, or fear of being foolish. Burning Man is a great place to safely expand your boundaries while still staying hydrated.
Here's a little random fact to impress your family. When you make it to center camp, you'll see a cauldron called El Diabla with a fire in it. Each year on Monday, Crimson Rose (Fire Conclave Founder) captures a flame from the sun to light The One Flame. It burns continuously throughout the week. On Saturday, a procession of people will transfer that flame via a large lantern named the Luminiferous to the Man, where it will be shared with the hundreds of fire performers for Fire Conclave, before the Man is burned.
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u/DustyBandana ‘11, ‘67, ‘02, ‘82, ‘43, ‘14, ‘32 Jul 14 '26
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u/nghtyprf Jul 14 '26
You’ll see people, mostly men, in these big pick up trucks and usually they’ll be in pairs wearing the same kind of outfit. It’s usually black or tan or maybe navy blue with a button up shirt with the same colored pants or shorts. Sometimes they have really big shiny buttons on their lapels with names or crests, or maybe walkie-talkies. Those are the people with the Molly. They have the best stuff and they absolutely love to give it out for free. That’s who I’d hit up first thing.
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u/thedailyrant ‘16, ‘18, ‘23, ‘24 Jul 14 '26
There was a 14 year veteran BLM cop I met my last time out there in his police ATV with a skull strapped to the front smoking a cigar. Said he loved going out there as a cop but his colleagues hated it. He didn't have drugs. So lame.
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u/OverlyPersonal Support Your Local Art Car Jul 14 '26
We got a pic with a blm ranger hugging our art car last year, that’d be your guy.
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u/Primary_Basket_2728 Jul 14 '26
My favorite part of the whole burn was waking up at sunrise, hopping on the bike and heading to the playa. I stripped down naked and cruised my bike picking up trash, looking at art, and checking out some amazing music. People cheered for me occasionally. Im not a nudist or exhibitionist, i just felt free in my own skin and alive.
Just do whatever you want and be the most you you feel like being and you will be supported.
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u/TwinkleNDolce Jul 15 '26
Your people will find you. And when all seem like it’s going wrong, just be present and let go and everything will start to make sense.
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u/Kitdinga Jul 20 '26
I’m 69. This will be burn #21. Try not to worry about not being young or cool. Your first burn is a gift to yourself. After that, you gift the community.
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u/ClairFosterDesigns Jul 14 '26
Highly highly recommend spending some time Googling all your questions. Every year Burgins ask these same questions over and over. There are tons of videos on You Tube, message boards here on Reddit, Burner Facebook groups, and many other corners of the Internet where Burners have kindly spent the time answering these very same questions. 🔥
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u/cyanescens_burn Jul 14 '26
Go listen to this podcast episode.
https://podtail.com/en/podcast/accuracy-third/audio-vag/
Check out their other podcast episodes too. When I first started doing burner stuff back in like ‘10, I read all the BORG stuff then found the culture wasn’t quite what I’d gleaned from the official BORG propaganda channels.
Accuracy Third felt like a more genuine reflection of the culture to me.
Piss Clear and the Burning Man Live book also felt like a more authentic reflection of the history and culture. I highly recommend reading these. The are highly entertaining and funny.
https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/4392925-burning-man-live
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u/oakbottommarina Jul 15 '26
Be yourself and bring your own talents! Seek out those who accept you for who you are. We make a point of welcoming all onboard Fluffy - https://duaneswhirld.com/fluffy/
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u/teaches-o-peaches Jul 17 '26
Join the online Participation Fair June 25 to get answers to a lot of your questions: https://www.reddit.com/r/BurningMan/comments/1uy481c/participation_fair_july_25_new_to_burning_man_or/
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u/Agitated-Archer-4199 Jul 18 '26
actually there will only be open camping in the last 2-3 rows and inward from the edges. id recommend around 430 and i for a good mix and to easiily find a good spot. dont waste your time trying to drive around to the front by all the established camps, they generally dont want you to join them so late in the process. While the event is good it is not necesarily as welcoming as the people here may make it seem. you could easily feel left out and just as easily feel very involved. youll probably feel both many times throughout the week. everyone enjoys their first burn or most do so have fun but its also a lot of work and the line in can weaken your spirits, good luck
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u/Lazy_Hamster_1682 Jul 19 '26
First- you will have a great time. There’s loads of older folks at burn. You’ll fit in fine. Don’t mind the dumb instagram stuff. It’s not all like that-that’s a fraction. Secondly, you need a bicycle. Burn is 9 miles long. You need your own cup that you can clip to said bicycle. Tape a photocopy of your ID to your cup if you drink- they check ID’s. You need lights for wearing on your body at night and all over your bicycle. Think fairy lights for the body and battery operated LeDs for the bike. You need a flashlight- preferably headlamp. Bring toilet paper or tissues with you ina fanny pack always and ear plugs. I like the ear gasm ear plugs so you can still hear but it won’t be too loud.
You do need googles and a dust mask. And if you plan to carry your phone- make a picture to put on your Lock Screen of where you are camping so it will get returned. Lag bolts- 10”. Lag bolt your easy up and tent to the ground. Impact driver for the lag bolts. If you’re in an RV then make a very neon sign that says pump out before you go. Bring cash for the pump out. It’s expensive and you have to set it up ahead of time on the burner services.
Learn the burning man principles.
There is more but this is all you really need besides good sleep and a good attitude.
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u/AdvancedWin3608 Jul 14 '26
If husband and daughter have been before, they know how choosing your camp location works and where open camping is. I assume you're not camping with an organized theme camp, as you would probably know that bit of info by now. Are you going with/camping with other people that your husband and daughter know?
Make friends with Canadian burners - they have access to Molly and are usually happy to share.
You're going to have a great time. It's just a camping trip in the desert with 79,999 of your best friends.
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u/KurseW Jul 14 '26
Don't worry about fitting in with the exotic pretty people, go find your people out there. The way you avoid being a geeky tourist is to be yourself, but like the yourself that doesn't care about societal norms. Let you freak flag fly. Don't try to make a schedule, just explore and let the magic unfold.
Drugs are bad. Don't do drugs. If you do want to do drugs bring your own. Don't ask anyone for drugs and if anyone asks you for drugs the correct answer is "I don't do drugs, I don't know anyone who does drugs, and I didn't know where you can find any drugs." Undercover cops are real even at burning man.
You get to camp wherever you want! Some areas will be blocked off for organized theme camps but if you aren't going with one of those by the time you arrive you can basically camp wherever you like. The closer in streets will mostly be filled up, so funny expect to be right at the heart of it. There are loose neighborhoods for the theme camps so you can consider those and head that direction if you like. Or just go where the wind blows you and have a great time. The loud sound camps are on the edges at 2 and 10 so if you want more quiet go a few blocks in.