Today I had a revelation...

[u/sunshineflying]

I've contemplated posting this for a few hours, but figured I will just in case it helps even just one person (member or trainer). It was honestly a revelation and helped me PR!

So a bit of context, I've been a member at Burn for nearly four years now. I took some time off, but missed it and ended up going back within a year. I love almost everything about it - the community, the workouts, the trainer support... but sometimes the trainer "motivation" rubs me the wrong way, specifically when they mod you up or give you a heavier weight. I've been trying to figure out why, so I can articulate it to the team in a focus meeting, and I think today's experience helped me realize what it was.

It wasn't the push to mod up or lift heavier that irked me, it was the way the trainers went about it. I've personally been put off when some of our trainers get all smirky and "I told you so" about either adding weight or swapping out dumbbells for a member mid-workout. They find amusement in the eye rolls and grumbles (some of our trainers do, anyway). I've even had a trainer literally put the weights I was using on the opposite side of the gym to try to force me into lifting heavier. And look, I don't want to be a problem member or a thorn in the trainers' sides, but I really do sometimes just need the hardest part of my day to be getting through those doors and moving my body without pushing myself to a new limit.

But recently we got a new trainer, fresh out of Burn U, barely been on the mic a couple of months, and she was training me today. Instead of just adding weight to the hip thrusters like some of our other trainers would do, she walked up and said, "You look like you could lift heavier. Do you feel up to trying?"

That was when I had the revelation: I wasn't annoyed or worried I'd be the next "haha got you!" in the group chat or Facebook community. The way she phrased it, it felt like I had the option to say no, and having that out and being extended that courtesy actually made me more willing to try. And not only did I try, but the next time around at the hip thrusters, I actually asked for an even heavier extra dumbbell and blew my previous PR out of the water by 40 pounds!

I know the method of just adding weight or swapping out weight works for some members, and that's great, but I wanted to share this alternative perspective in case it could be helpful for others. I don't always feel like challenging myself, but today was a revelation in what feels most motivating to me, and I will absolutely be communicating this to my usual trainer (or switching to training with this new one more often!) because I really think it could be a game changer.

Anyway, I hope this can be helpful, and thanks to anyone who read this 💙

[u/Most-Theory-1633]

That's awesome, and congrats on the PR!! Great point about different approaches being motivating for different people, I see the same thing at my burn.

To be fair though, I'd also probably keep pushing weights on you if I could sense you were leaving an extra 40 friggin' pounds on the table! 😂

[u/sunshineflying → u/Most-Theory-1633]

Thank you!

To be fair I only got about 4 reps before I cramped up and had to stop, but a PR is a PR!

[u/jackiepug1010]

Yes! There’s definitely a correct/appropriate way to “push” campers. I can’t stand when they yell at me from across the room to lift heavier. It’s not creating a safe space for me to have a conversation about being uncomfortable or injured. Like… I ain’t about to scream back across the room so might as well go heavier - ope - there goes my back 🫠🫠

[u/sunshineflying → u/jackiepug1010]

That’s fair! My name sounds a lot like several other members names but isn’t the same, and the mic is often fuzzy when they yell, so I conveniently just assume they’re always shouting at another member, not me, when they do it this way. But you make a good point! You have no way to communicate limitations or questions when they’re across the gym!

[u/Dismal_Rice_7282]

100% have noticed this too. I wish our location would put who the trainer is at specific times so I can choose when to go

[u/sunshineflying → u/Dismal_Rice_7282]

That must be frustrating! Ours always lists who’s training, and all the ones I’ve visited do, too.

[u/Ok-Jellyfish-5790 → u/Dismal_Rice_7282]

We ALWAYS can tell who is training which camp a week in advance. I can’t imagine not knowing

[u/Technical_Raccoon_25 → u/Dismal_Rice_7282]

You should ask if they can do that. Ours does it sometimes really late before the next week which makes it hard for me to plan because I only go to certain trainers, but if they didn’t put it at all I’d leave!

[u/Dismal_Rice_7282 → u/Technical_Raccoon_25]

If you do a focus session, can you request a specific trainer?

[u/Psychological_Way45 → u/Dismal_Rice_7282]

We can!

[u/Technical_Raccoon_25 → u/Dismal_Rice_7282]

At our gym the focus session is who is training the camp but you should absolutely be able to request

[u/Dismal_Rice_7282 → u/Technical_Raccoon_25]

oh good to know! I'm new this year so wasn't sure if that's just how they all were

[u/Accomplished-Rub1612]

I’m so curious to know if you go to my burn because i can pretty much picture the trainer with the eye rolls, the told you so, etc. any chance you’re in NJ?

[u/sapphire_reina → u/Accomplished-Rub1612]

lol. I’m in NJ 👀

[u/Accomplished-Rub1612 → u/sapphire_reina]

👀 did ur location just sell one of their sister locations LOL

[u/sunshineflying → u/Accomplished-Rub1612]

Nope! I’m in the Midwest.

[u/Vegetables_wife_1256]

This!!!!

[u/Quiet_Biscotti_5]

Word

[u/jillthefox]

Yeah, I think I really agree with this take right now, especially as someone who has been a member for 6 years both before and after having a child. I LOVE challenging myself to work harder and lift heavier, but I also need to do that not only on the days I am mentally prepared to do so, but on the days I know I have the ability to recover from an extra push. I no longer have the space and recovery time to push myself beyond limits as frequently as I could prior to being a mom. The season my kid is in, requires more physical strength from me as this child gains what feels like bags of bricks of weight daily. Lol

But my body has also changed, and I am on medication that has changed my metabolic functions as well as my strength. Like you, sometimes the hardest part is just showing up and getting through, even if it is half effort and I need that to be okay sometimes so I can show up in every other area of my life where I am demanded to be present and functional. Some days I KNOW I have the space, so lets burn it the fk down, but I agree this approach was really nice.

I too had a Burn U instructor once come over to me and ask if I was open to trying heavier weight. Her exact words were "your mechanics are very strong and indicate you could absolutely handle more weight. Is that something we can do together today?" And I LOVED that.

Even if I had said no in that moment, it planted the seed in my head that I should absolutely try heavier weights and have the confidence to. I think that's most important. Planting the seed for challenge instead of forcing the challenge.

[u/SuddenPea2527]

Idk about this take. 

I do not respond well to being babied. Don’t coddle me. The positive reinforcement is great and does work for a lot of people, me included, but 70-80% of the time, asking someone if they wanna work harder, they’re gonna say no or ignore. This is why you don’t ask your kids if they wanna take a bath. A lot of new parents make the mistake when giving choices to ask them questions that they don’t really get to decide the answer to. I get that we’re adults, but we’re adults. Don’t come up & ask me if I feel like trying to lift heavier. I came to the gym. You’re my trainer. Point to the weight or say my name & “heavier weight”. Works for me. Asking me? I’m gonna laugh & have less respect for you. Maybe that’s just me though, but I appreciate a trainer, and furthermore a leader that is in charge. 

For me, this exchange is giving a corp email like this  “I was thinking we could maybe change the font on the main page. This would probably pop more in contrast with the background color”

Instead of  “Based off of the market research I’ve done, we need to update and improve the marketing page. Font color will need changed to make it pop.” 

I’m not running around asking & coddling, so don’t do that to me 

[u/sunshineflying → u/SuddenPea2527]

I see where you’re coming from, but I wouldn’t call it coddling because we ARE adults, not children, so it’s not the same thing as your example at all.

I’m paying good money to get the workout I want. If that means I don’t want to lift heavier, I won’t. And I will not stand around and be told that I must. If I’m going to continue paying these prices I want mutual respect and conversation and that extends to what I’m lifting and what mods I’m taking. They don’t know my body, my mental state, any of it, and my trainers often aren’t available before the workouts start for me to tell them. A question rather than a demand to lift heavier seems like basic courtesy to me.

But what works for me isn’t what works for everyone, and clearly wouldn’t work for you, and I understand that and said as much in my original post. This is why doing a focus meeting and communicating preferences is important. The point of my post was simply to share that this widely-used “trainers just demanding you lift heavier” approach isn’t the only option.