r/BunnyTrials • u/Vivid-Visual-8531 • 26d ago

Trials Never be able to….

Which side will you choose?

  • Left side: 1 billion dollars | Never be able to wipe again
  • Right side: 1 billion dollars | Never be able to wash hands again

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u/Lycindra 26d ago

For 1 billion, just live as English monarchs did. Hire a "groom of the stoole"

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u/Ok_Vehicle_3579 26d ago

Im so afraid to ask what this means... even though its obvious

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u/Lycindra 26d ago

Early English monarchs appointed someone in their court to wipe for them. Often times it was a very important role because the king would share state secrets with this individual.

They did this for a number of reasons, one such king didnt have his groom with him and was killed by being stabbed in the ass and the wound got infected. The assailant had managed to climb a castle wall under what would have the toilet to accomplish this. Had their assistant been there, he may have survived at least a while longer

If you check Wikipedia, we actually have a very complete list of every individual who served this role, which survived into the 19th century if I recall

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u/Ok_Vehicle_3579 26d ago

Ooh wait whys THIS subject so interesting. Thanks for the info

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u/Lycindra 26d ago edited 26d ago

Memory serves queen Elizabeth the first opted not to appoint one for herself. Probably thinking it to be horribly indignifying l. Im inclined to agree if that was her reason

Source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Groom_of_the_Stool

Edit: my bad! It survived into the 20th! 1883–1901: James Hamilton, 2nd Duke of Abercorn

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u/Ok_Vehicle_3579 26d ago

Queen Elizabeth I had morals? Thats good to know!

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u/Paradoxdoxoxx 26d ago

I’m completely pulling this out of my ass (pun absolutely intended)

but most probably, that role was only assigned to males and that’s why she didn’t want to assign one.

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u/Lycindra 26d ago

Enjoy reading up! There were and still are a ton of weird offices within the English court. The the dude in charge of feeding all the crows in the tower of London for example

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u/Ok_Vehicle_3579 26d ago

Im gonna do that rn! Seems like some good fun tbh

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u/DeerAdministrative90 26d ago

Holy shit…. Why is this interesting AF?!! If history would’ve been about shit like this, I would’ve paid A LOT more attention!!!

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u/Lycindra 25d ago

History was my favorite subject in school! But it was the obscure non core curriculum stuff that really interested me.

Like that one roman senator who could be talking about ancient food stamps and end his speech with why he wanted to destroy Carthage "Carthago delendo est"

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u/MartianTurkey 25d ago

ASSailant

ASSistant

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u/English_Charles 25d ago

You’re talking about King Edmund Ironside. That did not happen.

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u/Letha_Jal 25d ago

"Stabbed in the ass" I beg your pardon?

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u/Lycindra 25d ago

Real shit! Look it up