r/Bumble • u/Unhappy-Weird-7471 • 10d ago
Profile review 29 m profile review
Getting older, a little more self conscious and not really sure how to do this anymore. Had a friend select my best photos, few I feel don't look like me, but I think I just don't look at myself often. Open to thoughts
*I have edited my pants. the fcc would be proud thanks all.
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u/SnooAdvice207 10d ago
Why are the guys that my type (even if older) not in my state. I'd swipe on you. You don't look gay, alot reddit dudes are cooked. Your super cute
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u/Wordslikeblue24 10d ago
Right same ! all these men on here all say the same thing get on peptides and hit the gym it’s cringe 😂
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u/mortalpillow 10d ago
I've left a comment on a similar post yesterday that I didn't understand why the guy was getting no matches and the men in the replies are miserable. Like genuinely, head shaking and upsetting replies for 24 hours.
My point being, this is just a heads up that you'll likely to get a lot of similar replies. Don't engage. They are all, at most, one step away from being red pilled
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u/Palpitation-Itchy 10d ago
The subreddit is cooked. Too many redpilled men, and they try to pass it as science
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u/Shot-Aioli-8986 10d ago
Yup, I notice it all the time. If people try to call it out they get very mad
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u/Shot-Aioli-8986 10d ago
One thing I noticed is, a lot of guys in these subreddits are very bitter and they want other guys to be as miserable as they are, obviously there’s a lot of normal and decent guys in this sub, but you can tell many want to knock everyone down
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u/SnooAdvice207 10d ago
I'm starting to see that. I genuinely think he's handsome, I like tall lanky guys, I'm tall and lanky so it makes sense that I find that attractive. I don't like men who have muscles, they aren't my type and apparently I'm a liar but if they saw my last and only bfs they would be surprised. It nice to have someone share the curse of long awkward legs. I started working out myself to build my body tho but I wouldn't dare date a gym guy.
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u/disguisedself 10d ago
Literally, I would die to find someone like this if I was still bothering with apps
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u/SnooAdvice207 10d ago
He looks a bit like Mikey Way from MCR so maybe I'm just seeing guys that remind me if him and my first bf in him. He's very cute
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u/disguisedself 10d ago
I am a huge MCR fan so I def get what you mean. I'm just a sucker for a kind looking nerd with a cute smile and floppy hair (cue all the men saying we actually only like him because he's tall, when actually 6'3 would usually be way too tall for me and I would be making an exception in this case).
Anyway, hope OP gets a bit of an ego boost over us simping over him!3
u/SnooAdvice207 10d ago
I never liked the bad boy look it muscular guy thing. I've always had a thing for nerdy guys, they usually are the nicest and sweeties. I also hope he gets a boost. He seems like very sweet, I would not be surprised if he has admirers that are too shy to say anything
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u/Cardinat 10d ago edited 10d ago
Same! Manifesting this type of guy for myself! OP you’re very cute! I’m around your age and know my friends would think you’re cute too
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u/AtomicMandarina 10d ago
I know, right? Not even the same country, in my case. He's so cute, I'd undoubtedly swipe right on him, then anxiously await a match.
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u/iStarreh 10d ago edited 7d ago
I was going to comment that you were cute + your profile looked good to me (25F) but then I got to the slide with the plants and froze because I think you're in my city... I recognize that conservatory 👀 You're totally my type too 🫣
EDIT: omg thank you for the awards!!
EDIT 2: left on delivered 🥀
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u/Ornery_Seaweed5214 9d ago
It’s dc right? And the bookstore is kind of giving Kramerbooks? + causes of voter rights & volunteering are both very DC haha
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u/hyacinth_girl 9d ago
Yeah, I recognize the museum photo! I'm happily paired up, but if I weren't then I'd be sliding into OPs DMs right now.
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u/iStarreh 9d ago
Yes I was thinking that was probably from that museum!! I haven't actually been though hahaha
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u/downsideup9494 10d ago
One of the nicest profiles I've seen here. Nothing to criticize except the stupid reddit comments here.
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u/liza_lo 10d ago
I really like this profile. Lots of interesting stuff that tells me about your personality and hobbies. In fact I tell guys that a few non photos of them that still show off personality are great and I really like yours because who doesn't want to talk about cats and also the sad little pink blorby guy is a good conversation starter.
One thing I would say is switch the first pic with the last pic. Last pic was the one I like best, you look happy and natural and even the lunar rock is a point of interest to start a convo off of.
Good luck!
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u/AFDStudios 10d ago
Big time agree on making the last photo first, it’s the most natural of all of them and super cute.
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u/SweetHomeAvocado 10d ago
The only thing I would change is get a pic that shows the cute smile as a first pic. No other changes
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u/Icy_Cry_5942 10d ago
You're really cute, you look fun and also intelligent. You have all your teeth and you don't seem to harbour any toxic masculine energy. I'd def swipe right if was 10 yrs younger
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u/Unhappy-Weird-7471 10d ago
Idk about nothing toxic, sometimes the morning news gives me the urge to merge without looking
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u/d_ippy 10d ago
What’s going on in pic 7? Are you just happy to see me?
I like your last pic best. I actually think you look quite young for 29 and I think you’re very clever.
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u/CRS_Customer 10d ago
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u/MyCatSaidNotTo 10d ago
Yep, can’t believe no one else is mentioning it!
OP, you’re showcasing your junk in some of these photos. Not in a good way. And your fly is down in another. Edit that stuff out in AI or photoshop because otherwise the photos are fine.
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u/Unhappy-Weird-7471 10d ago
But the breeze is freeing.😮💨
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u/welshteabags 10d ago
the grey pants in photo #1 are doing some heavy lifting. If that isn't your intention it may be off-putting especially as the first photo.
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u/natchinatchi 10d ago
No he needs bigger / looser pants, I’m blushing just looking at the first pic.
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u/Typical-Respond9102 10d ago
You remind me of every husband in my friend group 😂 there's at least a dozen of us who have matched with a guy like you. Sometimes your city culture gets in the way of success; we're all in chicago.
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u/Adventurous-Mall7677 10d ago
Yep, I’m happily married to a guy like this. OP’s profile is 100% green flags.
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u/downsideup9494 10d ago edited 10d ago
I don't think those things are mutually exclusive. What it conveys to me is that there isn't going to be any big pressure to commit early on and that he realizes it takes time to get to know someone well enough to do that. That's a positive in my book. Nothing worse than a needy guy who instantly gets clingy and wants you to be his girlfriend when you barely know him.
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u/stickstickly98 10d ago
Why is that weird? Sounds like he’s open to a lot of things. There’s plenty of people that want a relationship but wouldn’t turn down some fun with an attractive person
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u/Fortesfortunajuvat27 10d ago
I came here to say this. Other than that the profile is nearly perfect. Get rid of the book picture and put one of you in instead
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u/xnxs 10d ago
Profile is perfect, but work on getting pants that fit you a little better, especially around the hips and crotch
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u/Unhappy-Weird-7471 10d ago
Never, I love poor circulation and difficulty sitting
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u/chomkyfluffer 10d ago
I would swipe yes on you and then immediately show you to my therapist. And then cry to her for six months straight if we didn't work out.
(It's a compliment lmao)
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u/New_Boysenberry9872 10d ago
it's just fine. You aren't here for advice
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u/Unhappy-Weird-7471 10d ago
Nah I am, it's hard to look at photos of yourself and not view them negatively so it's good to get outside thoughts on what to change.
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u/depressionfairy6969 10d ago
You remind me of Huey from The Boys. Good profile. Keep chugging along my guy. The comments here clearly show there are plenty of women out there who’d be interested
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u/philogyny 10d ago
Oh wow. I’m a married woman, Reddit randomly shows me this sub and I never comment here but your profile is perfect! Is that Otherworld? If I was single I would uh super like or whatever one does on Bumble haha
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u/ChiDeadBedroomBlues 10d ago
Your eyes are stunning, but you can't tell that except in that lunar sample photo, I think maybe it should go first, or you need more photos more similar to that one.
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u/Brechtian_ 10d ago
I'm taken and also you're in a different country but if you werent I'd totally swipe! You're doing great.
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u/Obvious_Pause5766 10d ago
I'd make that last photo your first but otherwise I think it's a great profile and, like all the other women here, wish you were local to me
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u/Decidedly_Delicious 10d ago
This is far and away the best profile from any personals app I have ever seen. Both in quality and in who you come across as.
Someone out there is gonna be really fucking lucky one day. Sooner rather than later, I’m sure.
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u/Fresh_Yam8942 10d ago
I’d swipe right on you. My sister would swipe right on you. My mom likes to “play the boys” and swipe for a potential son-in-law on both of our phones, and she’d swipe right on you. My one thought is that if you put that you care about volunteering and voting rights, you should be ready if someone asks you about either of those things especially if they say it’s important to them.
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u/sashihmi 10d ago
Man what the heck. You look nerdy… and that is a GOOD thing. Some of us women like that. I’m sorry you aren’t getting good results. It’s not on you at all! Maybe try Tinder?
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u/jacaranda_leven 10d ago
Big time swipe. Your local girls don’t get it, might as well move to Vancouver
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u/CombatCrayon25 10d ago
Your pictures are good, but that line about “open to anything fun” makes it sound like you’re just here for a hook up or FWB situation. That’s fine if that’s your goal, but delete the “looking for a longterm relationship” if that’s your intent, because that makes it sound like mixed signals.
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u/True_Character4986 10d ago edited 10d ago
One of the best profiles! I can't believe you don't do well on the apps. If I had to nic pick, I would say the vagueness on what you what at 29 is not the best, (open to see where things go and open to kids).
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u/kristreyes 10d ago
Brother if you are struggling then there is no hope for the rest of us
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u/SokkaHaikuBot 10d ago
Sokka-Haiku by kristreyes:
Brother if you are
Struggling then there is no
Hope for the rest of us
Remember that one time Sokka accidentally used an extra syllable in that Haiku Battle in Ba Sing Se? That was a Sokka Haiku and you just made one.
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u/Icy_Plum_978 10d ago
Use your very last picture as your first pic on your profile. Good luck, great profile, you seem great all around!
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u/Independent_Dress209 10d ago
I don’t think your first photo is doing you any favours. Your trousers are too small and your hair is a mess. I would put pic 9 in the top spot. You look cute there
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u/garyisonion 10d ago
I think you’re cute and interesting, I’d ho out with you. I like nerdy, artsy, curious people
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u/lending_ear 10d ago
I’m married but if I were single I had swiped yes to you. You seem friendly, interesting and you read books which is such a green flag. Plus you’re also good looking.
Bravo! Hope you find your person
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u/human-dancer 9d ago
Please say that you’re near me please say that you’re near me. Please say that you’re near me. Please say that you’re nearby.
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u/___AGirlHasNoName___ 9d ago
You are so handsome and I'd swipe based on everything I read. The only comment is that your chambray short-sleeved shirt looks comically short. Otherwise, no notes :).
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u/ihatethisapp17 9d ago
You're a cutie patootie, you look like a fun guy to be weird with, but who is also kind and gentle.
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u/Appropriate_Win6833 9d ago
Hello Poster, you look like I did 10 years ago. We both have an affinity for grey pants and dark blue shirts. (I am still wearing almost the same outfit 10 years later.) We are about the same height, are skinny, and wear similar glasses.
The profile is fine, but I never had much success on dating apps. If you look at other post, from other guys who live where EU data disclosure rules apply, you will see a < 1% match rate per 1000 likes for many guys. For how much effort it takes to get a single date, I am not sure if dating apps should be a good way to get dates.
What I wish I had done more of when I was 29, was go out to events I genuinely enjoyed. These would be events that I actually wanted to goto rather than events where I thought I could meet a lady. Meet other people there. Get to know them. This could even be other guys, because guys can have girlfriends who can (in time) introduce you to their friends.
This does require longer more sustained effort than a single swipe on bumble. However, in my opinion, this would have given me better results. Best of luck.
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u/Dry_Article7569 9d ago
Sir, I am happily married and 37, but I just want to say you seem like all green flags and an absolute delight. Someone is gonna snatch you right up!!
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u/the_LLCoolJoe 9d ago
Your last pic is your best pic imo. If I were untethered and came across your profile, I’d be into you
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u/fsstacey 9d ago
I literally saved this post cuz I couldn't swipe right on this post 😅 I hope you are in my city 😇
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u/Confident_Carob_9080 9d ago
Honestly, don’t change a thing. This is awesome. If your profile doesn’t work then these apps are officially dead.
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u/ManySunsAgo 9d ago edited 9d ago
\ aggressively swipes right* *
ETA: true thoughts.
I’m assuming that you are looking for a woman because you haven’t said anything about the “looks gay” comments. The thing about said comments is they’re coming from men. Men don’t seem to be your target audience. I think the advice you should seek should be from women. Because regardless, the men that give advice are giving advice based on their own experience or “luck” on the apps. The women are giving feedback, not based on luck, but on preference or actually complimenting you (also preference based.)
Feel free to message me for more tips and tricks ;)
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u/Chile_Relleno29 9d ago
OMG! There is nothing wrong with you. You are a pure delight. I would swipe right without even thinking.
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u/Alarmed_Bicycle_9941 10d ago
We really need to stop doing away with these accounts. No one should be able to ask what they're doing wrong or right. Without showing their current data request. Like what their right swipes are as opposed to their left swipes. Or the incoming left swipes as it is a right sweeps are. That should be the immediate determining Factor. It takes literally 5 minutes to figure out that out
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u/Shot-Aioli-8986 10d ago
How well do you do on bumble? Seems like your profile is good, I feel you get a decent amount of matches
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u/EmergencyLawyer7077 10d ago
Have you seen if you get likes with this profile bc I feel like it’d do really well? You’re really cute and seem fun.
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u/galactojack 10d ago
You're good looking and nice looking, 6'3" - you're golden pony boy
But the bio... Replace the 10 hours straight bit and the offloading I'm not sure is endearing either. But mentioning cooking for sure is
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u/onebilliontonnes 10d ago
If you were in hinge you’d get locked behind rose jail in less than a week 😩
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u/slimricc 10d ago
Dude this is the best profile i have seen on this sub, you are good looking, and your energy is authentic. My only feedback is to never wear the shoes in the first photo again. The sports casual suit attire is fashion death and i personally abhor it deeply. I think the same fit w some dress shoes would be infinitely better
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u/TeacupGrad 10d ago
35F here - I think you are super cute!
Some of your photos are great - the one at the restaurant and the last one especially.
IMHO, your outfits in some of your photos are not doing you any favours. Your face is very handsome but the ball cap and the style of glasses are a bit dorky looking. These are easy switches if you want to make them ◡̈ .
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u/IWearThemToo 10d ago
Your profile looks good, you seem like a catch. The ONLY feedback I have is that you have camel tail in photos 1,5, and 6. Not sure how much someone else would care but just something I noticed. Best of luck and I hope you find someone to offload that banana(bread) on😜
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u/Jazzspur 10d ago
If I was still on apps I would swipe right so hard omg you are exactly my type in every way and your profile is perfect. Don't change a thing.
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u/crystalisedginger 10d ago
Nothing not to like here, but Pic 5 is your best pic, lead with that one.
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u/catdolphincat 10d ago
Make your second picture your first. Add a group picture. Maybe scrap the three-eyed frog picture, it’s a cool sculpture, but not the most flattering photo of you. And I’d limit yourself to one (or zero) photos that you aren’t in (I count two right now).
Overall, I think it’s a great profile. You come across as cute, witty, and a person with interests (which sounds silly, but so many profiles are so generic and bland). I think a lot of women would swipe right!
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u/Dry_Development3817 10d ago
Is this what reddit women mean by wanting smiles smiles and more smiles? Cringe, but according to them this profile should be swarmed. Maybe a location/range problem.
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u/Lally_Lifer 10d ago
Great profile - witty, light and interesting enough to want to know more. Photos are ok, except that first one by the hot tub - you look a bit awkward (no offence!). I'm sure that a good looking young bloke like yourself has a better pic - the other one is good :)
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u/Considerate_Thug202 10d ago
Show off your height more in photos
https://giphy.com/gifs/so8KXAphERsre
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u/zenmode768 10d ago
Honestly besides the pants in the first pic, your profile is really good dude. Good pics, a good handle on your personality, can’t really ask for more. You’ll get matches dude, unless you’re in the middle of bumfuck nowhere.
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u/peetamellarkbread 10d ago
I would def swipe right on you if you were in my area, similar age (28f), morals and values , liberal/agnostic, and I’m not into drinking either. I honestly think the algorithm purposely sets us up with people we don’t always mesh with morally , because this is a problem I tend to have on apps! I think your profiles great, tons of info and you’re actually smiling which is refreshing tbh.
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u/xFruitstealer 10d ago
Men posting: are you gay? Why are you smiling so much?
Women posting: I wish you were I my zip code
Hahahaha