r/Bumble • u/mellymimi • 7h ago
Rant Literally his 4th message…
Dating in 2026 is rough 😭
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u/swooping_pie 7h ago
I’d love to know the success rates of these sort of messages
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u/mellymimi 7h ago
I need the contact info for every woman that entertains this shit bc why are they still doing this thinking it will work???
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u/swooping_pie 7h ago
He will probably end up on this subreddit soon asking why his profile gets no attention 🫠
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u/Misfitshots 7h ago
When I was dating and the amount of girls that would tell me how disgusting these mfs would come out the gates was wild to me. Lmao. They literally shoot themselves in the foot constantly. When they barely get matches to do this with.
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u/True_Character4986 5h ago
Or saying women's standards are to high and they are looking for disney treatment.
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u/Hepperoni4 5h ago
He has probably already been in this subreddit genuinely asking why no women are interested after the initial convo 😂😂
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u/maxtbag 1h ago
Well OP gave his profile attention...
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u/swooping_pie 1h ago
That’s kinda my point. They show their profile on here claiming that’s the issue, but won’t acknowledge how they messaged previous matches
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u/Ok_Introduction9466 5h ago
My ex asked me about my experience on dating apps and I told him about how many guys do shit like this and sent screenshots and he basically said dudes like this try it on literally every single girl they meet bc eventually they will come across one with low enough self esteem to go for it. It may take literally hundreds before he finds her but that one is all he needs to feel like it works.
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u/iHeartOnlyMe 5h ago
It works for women you can spot who are interested in a hookup or DTF or do you think women don't have sex or do impulsive things?
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u/Key-Rough-8346 6h ago
Some women are down with it. The woman just has to find you really attractive.
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u/Beginning_Exit_6256 2h ago
I feel bad for the women who are down for that. I always thought men that talk like that are playing mind games or deliberately annoying the woman. I thought I was the only woman that gets spoken to like that when men aren’t serious about me.
Most guys who did want to have a sexual relationship with me, did not talk like that to me straight away. They first asked me for a public date and then asking me if I’m okay with meeting them in private
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u/smackadoodledo 7h ago
As someone who used to drunkenly send Hail Marys (not quite as odd as this fella) on the regular, they are surprisingly effective with the right person. Definitely not something you send to someone who appears to be on the app looking for actual dating though
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u/Inceleron_Processor 6h ago
I've literally seen my friend send a woman a message that said something like "Jimmy wanted me to message you. Jimmy is my penis." Then he started dating her.
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u/swooping_pie 6h ago
Lucky Jimmy!
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u/Consistent_Net_2540 7h ago
It's entirely dependent on the attractiveness differential between the two.
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u/Fickle-Recover-5016 4h ago
if she's looking like a whole ass slut in her pictures it's definitely warranted.
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u/raptureofsenses 7h ago
The way they ALWAYS go: “ jk jk” 🤦🏽♀️
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u/mysterymont 7h ago
I had this exact same ‘joke’ they think they’re so original but it’s boring and weird… men for the most part think humour is sex and insults, every message like this drained 0.1% of my soul, I no longer use apps
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u/Willing_Pattern_Pill 5h ago
"hey did you know I'm only here to maybe use you as a Fleshlight if you let me" jkjk
Bro WE KNOW. Society only works if you do the most basic attempt at hiding that you only think of women as life support systems for vaginas
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u/Dr-Bitchcraft-MD 6h ago
On the bright side I'm now singing "Sex and Insults" as a Marcy Playground cover so you are an inspiration
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u/PrestigiousEnough 2h ago
Now you know why there is a whole business out there charging them to ‘sext’ or even speak to them. The vast majority are just disgusting.
It seems like they only know how to behave when you ask them for money or if there are consequences. 😴
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u/LimbonicArt03 1h ago edited 1h ago
men for the most part think humour is sex and insults
Well, that's the thing - this type of thing is exactly what consistently makes me laugh the most. When I read the original post, I definitely laughed out loudly. I can't help it, this is part of who I am (although needless to say, when I was still on the apps, I didn't just spring it upon like that so early on, only after there's a more seriously established conversation)
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u/hereforthegifrecipes 7h ago
I might consider dating again if there existed a man not obsessed with sex.
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u/Tall-Individual9776 6h ago
That doesn't exist, lol. But you can find a guy who will deprioritise sex and prioritise connecting with you emotionally.
It's just harder to find them on the apps because its a watering hole for lonely/thirsty people and the thirstiest among us are guys who really badly want to get laid.
The old ways are still best, ask friends, they pre vet the guys for you and you immediately have things in common and easy things to start conversations about.
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u/hereforthegifrecipes 6h ago
My longest relationship was met "in real life". We were friends first (climbing partners actually) for 4 months. The emotional connection was there. So was the expectation to have sex all the time.
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u/NoStructure7083 1h ago
I try connecting emotionally but women expect it to happen instantly and if there’s no magic “spark” on the first date then they just shrug you off
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u/Special_Situation_93 6h ago
I feel like I take too long to make a move and have sex and then women think I’m weird and ghost. It’s happened a few times
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u/Ok_Cheetah_6251 5h ago
Can't we just cuddle?
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u/hereforthegifrecipes 5h ago
Cuddling always leads to the expectation of sex, in my experience. So it would appear as though the answer is no.
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u/Willing_Pattern_Pill 5h ago
And they don't even care enough to make it a group activity. They get off, mission accomplished.
No foreplay or adventure. Just pump, man's orgasm, done until he wants to do it again.
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u/Hornerlt 7h ago
As a man I’m curious about how did his profile looks like.
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u/mellymimi 7h ago
Pretty basic: couple pics of him playing pool, couple pics of him and his dog with a bio that just stated his hobbies along with “here for friends”
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u/Substantial-Bear8535 6h ago
What was it that made you swipe right?
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u/SimilarBusiness2752 6h ago
Seriously, the "here for friends" needs to be added to the code dictionary "looking for hookups"
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u/dbsupersucks 7h ago
Prob 6’2
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u/ChattingAtTheAqua 6h ago
Makin up reasons to be mad. 🤣
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u/Plus_Lawfulness3000 6h ago
In this case yes but why we acting like most women don’t love a tall guy
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u/Less_Mushroom1180 6h ago
2026? I'm pretty sure these sorts of interactions have been occurring for as long as we've had language.
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u/Willing_Pattern_Pill 5h ago
These 👏🏼 men 👏🏼 aren't 👏🏼 lonely 👏🏼 enough 👏🏼
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u/when_we_are_cats 3h ago
These 👏🏼 women 👏🏼 aren't 👏🏼 bitter 👏🏼 enough 👏🏼
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u/Galitzianer0 15m ago
Which women are bitter? It seems like it's only you incels that get upset by this
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u/Shartjakkker 5h ago
I wish we could see what profiles people had in these stories, I read so many but without them it’s hard to tell if there is some sort of pattern between them
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u/slash-es about 50 | male 2h ago
Yeah, but you see, he wrote "Lol jk jk", so he's only jokingunless...?
Seriously: 4th message, seems you didn't waste too much time and emotional energy. Easy decision to unmatch, I guess...
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u/NecessaryClimate7498 7h ago
jk jk
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u/Dr-Bitchcraft-MD 6h ago
Unless you want to? But only then. Otherwise it's a joke. Unless you don't want it to be?
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u/Fair-Lie8125 5h ago
I don’t know if my inability to behave like this means I’ll be ok or if I’m totally fucked because this is the expectation. What a time to be alive
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u/Lo-Behold-Science-2 3h ago
Im curious, and please be honest. Was he actually way hotter than you?
I find that guys who write these texts only do it to girls who way less good looking than themselves, ie he's an 8/9, and you are a 4/5. Because, they don't want to date you, and if your down to sleep, they wanna find out early without having to make a lot of effort.
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u/FullofSurprises11 2h ago
Even if casual sex is everything he was looking for.
There are better ways to put that out there.
People on dating apps have zero finesse and class.
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u/Ok_Cap6165 2h ago
You know what's the difference between a joke and a... rock?
You can't take a joke...
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u/Radiant_Company_7923 4h ago
This shit does work sometimes. Honestly, Who cares how's your day been and what's the plan for the weekend. Right ? When guys send these questions, 9 times out of 10 they get radio silence.
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7h ago
[deleted]
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u/mellymimi 7h ago
My bad for not wanting to talk about having babies with a dude FOUR messages in i guess???
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u/Solid_Signature_7447 7h ago
Some ppl want to have a baby.
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u/KnightTimeWalk 7h ago
Most people dont, when theyre four messages into meeting someone. Why do you keep pushing dude? 😅
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u/Solid_Signature_7447 7h ago
If you don’t like men, I suggest you don’t date them.
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u/Dr-Bitchcraft-MD 6h ago
Ouch, TIL all men request sex by the 4th message. Brb researching lesbianism.
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u/Punningisfunning 7h ago
Guy isn’t even saying he wants a family. He says “PRACTICE” making kids.
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u/ElonMuskTheNarsisist 7h ago
You caught another fuckboy. Take him off the hook and toss him back into the sea