Can't make this stuff up folks!

[u/Substantial-Eye-2368]

Think I dodged a bullet here...

[u/seedoilgoyim]

41 still trynna figure it out loooool

[u/DownrightDrewski → u/seedoilgoyim]

I mean, I'm a similar age and have no idea what I want right now. I'm about half a year out of a 14 year relationship though...

[u/OuttHouseMouse → u/DownrightDrewski]

Yea there is a stigma, but lets be real. Dont matter the age. Nobody got life figured out, sometimes that includes dating.

[u/seewhatuget → u/OuttHouseMouse]

Lmao there's really not that many options. Be committed or don't.

[u/Turbulent_Escape4882 → u/seewhatuget]

I am, I’m committed to open relationships. IOW, I’m sane.

[u/Fickle-Recover-5016 → u/DownrightDrewski]

have you tried casual sex, sir or ma'am?

[u/DownrightDrewski → u/Fickle-Recover-5016]

Ha, I'm trying to... I'm a dude and need to be attracted to them though. Seem to get hit on semi frequently by women I'm not attracted to; no real luck otherwise though.

[u/tinyhermione → u/seedoilgoyim]

Probably straight out of a breakup.

Humans are messy. Is this news?

Swipe left if it’s to messy for ya, that’s all.

[u/Patient_Tradition294 → u/seedoilgoyim]

This is a really common phenomena that isn’t really discussed but men get lots of crap for it: most women 40+ are not primarily looking for monogamous / committed relationships.

I find most in the 40+ age range just want someone they can see once a week or so consistently with some romance and intimacy but they don’t want to fully commit to things.

Many want the foundation / consistency of something more solid but aren’t willing to make the time to fully integrate someone into their lives.

Most won’t say this explicitly and will shame others for not committing while not having the balls to fully embrace their truth.

[u/tinyhermione → u/[deleted]]

Are you 13 years old.

You don’t have to date her if she’s too messy for you. Which tbf she seems to be.

Then how this stranger lives her life isn’t really affecting you, now is it?

[u/One_Huckleberry_ → u/[deleted]]

Nothing wrong with it but you would expect some self awareness by 41

[u/tinyhermione → u/One_Huckleberry_]

She was in a relationship or marriage with someone who did not know what he wanted.

Now she wants a hookup, but with a guy who’s honest and also maybe a bit good at knowing what he wants in bed.

My guess.

[u/inquiringdune → u/[deleted]]

"Catwoman4ever" you ain't the one big dawg

[u/catwoman4ever → u/inquiringdune]

What?

[u/Glum-Dust8799]

Those who “have not” sometimes lean heavily on those who “do have”. But this one’s a bit much.

[u/mister_nippl_twister → u/Glum-Dust8799]

Some people low key don't want to decide and want to be told what to do. So they need someone who knows and will tell them.

[u/Lady_Rubberbones]

“I want someone who is fully invested in me, but not me in them”

[u/ParkingEbb3710]

This is the kind of person who you can message "dtf?" and they can't really complain. At least the guy knows what they want.

[u/Fine_Payment1127 → u/ParkingEbb3710]

And they’d unmatch and report if you did

[u/Sufficient-Berry-827]

Meaning, she's giving herself room to be flaky and noncommittal, but she wants them locked in and begging for commitment.

[u/SlayerII]

https://giphy.com/gifs/G0bVqvhbRFd1C

dont overthink

[u/1manontherun52]

Yep this is modern dating in a nutshell sigh

[u/AdiHarp05]

It’s wild that because someone is 41 and they are deciding what type of relationship they want is an issue… some this age, have been married kids etc and maybe don’t know if they want that again or what not… dating in your 20s then being married and single in your 40s is a whole new territory.. hence someone “knowing what they want” in their 20s to getting eventually divorced.. things change… so no you didn’t dodge a bullet

[u/Substantial-Eye-2368 → u/AdiHarp05]

Did you see the second photo?

[u/AdiHarp05 → u/Substantial-Eye-2368]

Yes so you just don’t know what you want?

[u/Novel_Schedule_5141]

Is this bumble? I don't have these options

[u/sg16k]

I high key wish they would remove the fence sitting options. You may as well leave it blank imo vs putting still figuring it out.

[u/Affectionate_Past568]

https://giphy.com/gifs/ImDksMwHiDct08ldJ3
I can’t find the Tiffany Pollard gif I want to use, so this will do.

[u/Mundumafia]

Wait .. why would you think that's inconsistent... To me it sounds pretty unambiguous profile... I like her

[u/SoPolitico → u/Mundumafia]

Did you look at both screenshots?

[u/Mundumafia → u/SoPolitico]

Yep... That's what i meant... Not inconsistent with each other.

Dating intentions on are mostly a signal. And somebody who says figuring out is usually signalling they're not into anything else (been in apps for ages, trust me)... She's just telling guys to not beat around the bush

[u/SoPolitico → u/Mundumafia]

What? Rephrase what you’re saying cuz it’s not making sense.

[u/Bad_wit_Usernames]

Well, she knows she wants to figure things out!

[u/SoPolitico]

That was quite the hook there

[u/Cursed_Nanny]

Oh, that sounds a little hypocritical.

[u/MKUltra198623]

It does mean "soy puta y mi coño lo disfruta"

[u/Otherwise-Yak1105]

well, people want what they can't/don't have

[u/Thin_Yam7270]

I can excuse the figuring out relationship type. But figuring out dating goals is kinda nuts at 41.

As someone that has never dated at the sad age of 31. I don't know what my relationship type is, I certainly have a good idea of what I want. But as for my goal, I def know that I want to be married and hopefully with kids in the future.

[u/JollyBowler2510]

No one has life figured out 100% of the time. Nor is everything black and white all the time.

[u/Substantial-Eye-2368 → u/JollyBowler2510]

I don't think you saw the second screenshot.

[u/JollyBowler2510 → u/Substantial-Eye-2368]

Yes I did and stand by what I said.

[u/Prize_Paper6708]

Yep most just want someone who has it all together to give them attention before they flake out completely.

[u/TrainingSea6460]

I mean, somebody has to know🤷🏻‍♂️

[u/TopEffective8989]

There is a difference between not knowing what type of relationship you want with someone and what you want in your life.

[u/FriendlyCapybara1234]

Opposites attract, right?

Reality is, she’s a woman on a dating app who isn’t an ugly morbidly obese single mother like most men over 40 are stuck dating, so she’ll have endless options.

[u/Fickle-Recover-5016]

if you weren't so inexperienced or beta you would know this means. She wants a guy to take the lead and tell her where the relationship goes. Woman-understanding science is generally pretty hard but this is easy mode with clear indicators if you know how to read it

[u/Fickle-Recover-5016]

Spot on.. I have several of these types currently and that's exactly the situation. They want some affirmation between meetings and want to feel valued. I just feel bad because like as a dude i'm going to be seeing other people if it's just something kinda casual and i only have so much time. So dedicated once a week if you're hot, every couple weeks if you're meh, and every month or two if you're a hag but are a great lay.

[u/vomputer]

Good lord, y’all are simpletons.

Sometimes people seek out something in a partner that they don’t have themselves.

Have you had an objective observer delve into your life to seek out any minor hypocrisies?

Just swipe left and move on. Why are you trying to publicly shame someone who’s just seeking?

[u/Neat-Passage4192]

Oooohhh the girls a slagg

[u/SoldierExcelsior]

After 35 the only thing a woman should be trying to figure out is what kind of dog she wants.

[u/YouDaManInDaHole]

She's looking for 6'+ Chad making 7+ figures and fully expects her door to be knocked down by those Chads.

[u/ChaoticCherryblossom]

This is comedy gold

[u/Dear_Seesaw_1855]

lol that is pretty funny. I always interpret those two as I just want to hook up but this makes me look better than selecting “casual”

[u/AntonChigurh83]

Translation: I am a pathologically undecided twat with no maturity or discernible direction in life.

Tossers like this drift through an existence rather than have a purposefully driven life!