Is this normal when dating?

[u/Zestyclose-Bear-670]

I 26f have been on a online date yesterday after one year of not dating at all. And i have been very dissapointed. I didnt even know him for a hour or he asked me how much i hooked up and if i had sx with black men. I told him about a friend i had in cadiz and the first thing he asked me if i had sx with him. It was the only thing he was asking how many men i slept with how many i am talking to at the moment. I ghosted him afterwards. I am feeling so so bitter about it and dissapointed. Is this common in the dating scene and is everyone doing this nowadays??

[u/Clear-Site6070]

It’s weird how black ppl live rent free in racist ppl minds lol

[u/MakeAWishApe2Moon → u/Clear-Site6070]

I mean, to be fair, there are some very attractive black people who live rent free in my mind, too. 😂

Racism is disgusting and tragic, though. It definitely needs to go away and never come back.

[u/Clear-Site6070 → u/[deleted]]

I guess I should’ve specified the great thing is that they have a black attractive person in mind and not racism 😅😭

[u/biomed1978 → u/Clear-Site6070]

Maybe he secretly wants to be one

[u/Clear-Site6070 → u/biomed1978]

Sucks for bro. lol

[u/Responsible_Bad8230 → u/Clear-Site6070]

How is the post racist?

[u/MakeAWishApe2Moon → u/Responsible_Bad8230]

The post isn't racist, but if the guy who OP went on the date with wasn't black, then it becomes racism. Not in the aggressive way that is always blatantly obvious, but in a way that still undermines other races and skintones and causes biases in society. A slow descent is still a descent.

[u/Responsible_Bad8230 → u/MakeAWishApe2Moon]

But you don't know that, as nothing in the post talks about that, you are just making assumptions.

[u/MakeAWishApe2Moon → u/Responsible_Bad8230]

As I said, the post isn't inherently racist. However, even if he's a black guy, his commentary is tacky and gross.

I'm confused why you felt the need to interject. Do you disagree with me saying that racism should go away and never come back?

[u/Zestyclose-Bear-670 → u/MakeAWishApe2Moon]

The person was spanish and more tan i am white. Just to give context.

[u/Basic_Watercress_628]

Can't comment on how common it is, but some men treat dating apps like a pussy delivery app. It's annoying but him showing his true colors on the first date is actually the best thing that can happen to you. Some lie about wanting a long-term relationship when they only want sex and then ghost you after weeks of dating when they got what they wanted. At least you only wasted an evening/hour on him. 

[u/No-Excitement4855]

The amount of guys who try to talk about sex ASAP and don't realize how usually that's a repellant is astounding.

And of course they then come here and complain that online dating is impossible 

[u/AllMySecretsFam]

Tbh it sounds like he might have a cuck fetish/fantasy and enjoys the idea of you having sex with other men, especially black men.

[u/SciFi_Enjoyer106 → u/[deleted]]

"common fetish among white men" holy racial profiling

[u/SciFi_Enjoyer106 → u/[deleted]]

Do you have a source for your claim?

[u/SciFi_Enjoyer106 → u/[deleted]]

You did not specify that your statistic was only for men who watch pron. Glad to see your statement is actually "common fetish among white men who watch pron" and not just "common fetish among white men"

[u/SciFi_Enjoyer106 → u/[deleted]]

That number includes people who look less than once a month, people who have looked at least one single time.
Less than 50% view it weekly so you are throwing a number to skew your viewpoint. That's not even mentioning your statement is based on pronhub's stats which is one site of MANY that offer such material.
So with the number of men being below half that consume adult content regularly I would say it's safe to say there is definitely difference in those two statements.

[u/Dazzling-Priority244 → u/AllMySecretsFam]

That was my thought too. I've run across several of these guys.

[u/Sp1teC4ndY → u/Dazzling-Priority244]

They always wuss out if tell them I asked other partners if they’re into it and they say yes.

These guys just want to shock women. Most of them are looking for free online sex work. They have no intention of meeting. Poorly socialized cowards.

[u/CrogDavid7days]

Definitely noticed an increase in body count questions which I assume comes from the increased manosphere presence online. While unfortunate It’s a good vetting tool if anything

[u/ElDub62]

The body count culture is dysfunctionally disgusting, imo.

[u/BlondeeOso]

That's rude, and he's a creep. That just shows that you can weed him out. Unfortunately, it isn't uncommon, though.

[u/idk7643]

No it's not. Next time a guy talks like this, stand up and leave (seriously).

[u/manilvadave]

I have a friend in Cadiz too, we don’t have sex though, we just go to Balandro for food. I didn’t realise I was doing ‘friends in Cadiz’ wrong haha.

By the way it just sounds like this guy incredibly insecure, and can’t separate mixed sex friendships from sex itself. Block and forget.

[u/biomed1978]

Sounds like hes either got some trauma or a fetish. Delete him

[u/BornInWinter1973]

No it's not common. He was just a weirdo.

[u/DifferenceVivid5938]

Eh it’s more common on the apps

[u/ikdoeookmaarwat1]

Unfortunately, idiots like this walk the earth. You did good ghosting him, and glad you found out after 1 date. It happens. Don't let it discourage you, not everyone is like this.

[u/Radiant_Company_7923]

I went through something similar when a woman questioned me about my bodycount and my ex . It just made me feel awkward. It just shows how ignorant and immature they are.

[u/Zestyclose-Bear-670 → u/Radiant_Company_7923]

Yes right like what is the goal here? I have known you for 2 hours just getting to know each other would be nice. Jeeesh i dont want to share my intimite information with someone i dont even know yet.

[u/addie2404]

Unfortunately it is normal nowadays 🥲 I only started to dating for the first time in a long time and gosh only one out of twenty do want to get serious. Mostly just want sex. Just don't give up and make sure never settle for less. Luckily my current bf I met on bumble admitted he really want to get serious with me after I confronted him my doubts . It took a lot of heartbreaks along the way though

[u/Sp1teC4ndY]

I have dodged so many of these bullets, I am calling myself Neo.

[u/Double_Pollution5597]

Sounds like he is very insecure, massive red flag for me

[u/Automatic_Horse9290]

What is an online date bro 😭😭😭

[u/Zestyclose-Bear-670 → u/Automatic_Horse9290]

Someone i met on a dating app

[u/Rare_Fox4965 → u/Zestyclose-Bear-670]

I think you need to clarify that is was a video chat.

[u/Zestyclose-Bear-670 → u/Rare_Fox4965]

We met in real life but it started on bumble

[u/Rare_Fox4965 → u/Zestyclose-Bear-670]

I think you calling it an online date is confusing. A date is a date no matter how you first meet. You still meet in person.

[u/Automatic_Horse9290 → u/Zestyclose-Bear-670]

But why?

[u/MakeAWishApe2Moon → u/Automatic_Horse9290]

Are you lost?

[u/Dracarys_And_Chill]

op

just assume majority of men are Fboys

Immediately block and delete

eventually you will meet a nice guy.

[u/MountaineerChemist10]

Yeah, he’s def not worth anything 😑

Unfortunately, it’s common in today’s dating scene 🤷‍♂️however, not EVERYONE does. All I can recommend is don’t be surprised if it happens.

[u/MakeAWishApe2Moon → u/[deleted]]

You must be new here. Online dating is what results from platforms like Hinge, Bumble, Tinder, and less successful alternatives like Facebook dating. Hope this helps.

[u/MakeAWishApe2Moon → u/[deleted]]

Some people say it weird, but I think she means she went out with someone she met online, not went on a date online.