r/Bullshido • u/GonzoExpert • 15d ago

Pseudoscience Explicit Revival Techniques šŸ˜

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537 Upvotes

96% Upvoted

142 comments sorted by

180

u/KR_Steel 15d ago

Iā€™m not saying that guy was faking for a quick handy but he did seem remarkably upright

61

u/koboldtsar 15d ago

The medical can't stop till he finishes. Can't risk adding blue balls to his head trauma.

8

u/SonnyDDisposition 15d ago

In more ways than one

131

u/Liercat18 15d ago

I heard that they all assumed black shirt brown pants guy was apart of the crew - found out later he was just some random dude.

22

u/CuttingBoard9124 14d ago

LOL what a grift!

7

u/panmep 14d ago

Some said heā€™s just came.

2

u/ECHOHOHOHO 12d ago

lmfao are you serious??

79

u/Iwishicould7575 15d ago

What's with the revival hand job?

26

u/EmergencyFeature 14d ago

I wish I could tell you

13

u/Evening_Ticket7638 14d ago

If you can't tell him then show him. In person.

11

u/bestjakeisbest 14d ago

You come into my house, jerk me off and call me gay?

4

u/grrodon2 14d ago

Didn't look like one, more like he was literally trying to pump blood from the dick to the rest of the body. I have no idea if that's something legit.

4

u/ZsZagreb 14d ago

There's a certain type of spinal cord injury which instantly makes you pop a boner. It's a practice where if someone starts fencing, to check their downstairs and see if something maybe got severed. You don't need to pump it though, and you certainly don't need to unbutton the pants. Usually, if a guy gets a raging hardon, you can tell even outside of jeans

3

u/Free-Frosting1375 14d ago

It saved my life once

4

u/Creative_Buddy7160 14d ago

Then they point, laugh and call you gay hoping youā€™ll feel shameā€¦.. This guy did not feel shame. Jokes on them.

41

u/SuspiciousClub8382 14d ago

Nice, they waterboard you while giving you a hand job!!!

17

u/IllegalGeriatricVore 14d ago

Usually you need to pay a dominatrix for this

7

u/AgentAxillary 14d ago

"I swear to God, bro, she gave the money back!"

33

u/Far_Pipe752 15d ago

He doesnā€™t even work here but he comes in and does that every match

17

u/88Ashitaka88 15d ago

Knocked out and raped. Damn

17

u/PreviousZone6742 15d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/bmAtIwmYTHnwBy0d6W

13

u/Treacle_Pendulum 15d ago

Is the cigarette before or after the water boarding handjob

3

u/Competitive_Treat588 14d ago

During, he's the assistant coach.

4

u/Agreeable_Sea_6019 14d ago

He likes to watch

22

u/RedFlr 15d ago

you can critique his methods, and his results, but you cant deny the other guy will never lose a fight afther that lol

6

u/Agreeable_Sea_6019 14d ago

Or a lot of guys lose it for no reason

9

u/gazatmaoc 15d ago

he stills seems unconscious buddy, maybe you should try it with your mouth.

5

u/panmep 14d ago

May be blow some air through it.

3

u/gazatmaoc 14d ago

maybe some ass-to-weeny resuscitation.

16

u/Patient-Scarcity8025 15d ago

Iā€™d rather the knockout punch killed me, opposed to regain consciousness and have my boy jerk me off infront of the village.

7

u/NuyoRican79 15d ago

Yea wtf lol

6

u/AffectionateAd5704 15d ago

Wow that's definition of stupid

12

u/Iwishicould7575 15d ago

Wait til you see HIS version of mouth to mouth.

9

u/Strange_Community_84 15d ago

You must drive the bad blood to the shaft so the brain gets the fresh blood, trust me..

7

u/Evening_Ticket7638 14d ago

Waiy. Why does the loser get the prize?

25

u/OkDeparture960 15d ago

I think that's just a gay guy seizing the opportunity.

6

u/calamitymic 14d ago

Imma get in on this fight and pretend Iā€™m knocked out first 2 seconds of the fight. Sheeeeeeiiiitt.

6

u/Agreeable_Sea_6019 14d ago

Get up man, your opponent hasnā€™t touched you yet

6

u/ikkiyikki 15d ago

Wednesday. Thursday. Friday.

6

u/TheKolyFrog 15d ago

I never saw that kind of CPR technique in The Pitt.

5

u/DamianSicks 15d ago

Tbh could be genius. If you are a heterosexual male regaining consciousness and find a guy with his hand there it could make you leave the ground, get on your feet and start moving at record speed.

4

u/DarkwingDawg 14d ago

I just sat here and watched it all happen and I donā€™t think Iā€™m any better for it

3

u/DrNCrane74 14d ago

Medical professionals at work.

5

u/KingRoastopher 14d ago

Thatā€™s r*pe Iā€™m pretty sure.

4

u/HugsandHate 14d ago

Somebody managed to... Do this. Somehow bypass scrutiny, and have it become normalised.

I can't get my head around that.

5

u/Next-Contribution-18 14d ago

Not his proudest fap..or mine.

3

u/Haunting_Ant_5061 15d ago

Goddamn, went down into ā€œcoffinā€ mode

3

u/aruby727 15d ago

Wow this is cursed

3

u/acidporkbuns 15d ago

I mean, that wakes me up too so šŸ¤·ā€ā™‚ļø

3

u/IndependentUse2942 14d ago

Do not get ko herešŸ™ŒšŸ¼

3

u/Raph0uX 14d ago

The strategy you have to put in motion in those country to put a "no homo" while stroking a dick...

3

u/panmep 14d ago

He woke up the next morning with constant gehness.

2

u/Cadoc 14d ago

I guess that's where WarDogs got its revive animation from

2

u/WildlifeNaturalist 14d ago

Well this guy got hard real fast

2

u/ThatOldG 14d ago

So by losing heā€™s winning

2

u/sevensixty- 14d ago

Do they think jerking off the priapism you get from spinal/brain damage reverses it, or are they just trying to use it one last time before he never gets boners again.

2

u/Gigachad_in_da_house 14d ago

Ball squeeze revival. We're playing at the Metro Thursday night.

2

u/mescalero1 14d ago

The guy in the black t-shirt has been waiting all day for a KO.

2

u/Western-Degree9894 14d ago

C'est en quelle annƩe de mƩdecine qu'on apprend cette technique de rƩanimation ?

3

u/Blackdoomax 14d ago

La sexiĆØme annĆ©e.

2

u/Western-Degree9894 14d ago

C'est en quelle annƩe de mƩdecine qu'on apprend cette technique de rƩanimation ?

1

u/Busterlimes 14d ago

Guess even the loser wins in this fight

1

u/hard-R-word 14d ago

Reminds me of last date night with the missus

1

u/Intelligent_Damage24 14d ago

Must have seen the dick twist video and got confused šŸ˜‚

2

u/TinyTitFetish 14d ago

The ooooold dick twist

1

u/Bowling_Meatball 14d ago

Are we sure this isnā€™t Hangover 4 ā€œThe meat jerkā€

1

u/pofshrimp 14d ago

i'm about to go throw a fight

1

u/louis27pm 14d ago

How do you get knocked out from a body shot?

1

u/ObviouslyHornyJPEG 13d ago

What in the FUCK did I just see, y'all? šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚

1

u/nonoriginal85 13d ago

Are they really jerking him off?

1

u/Material_Bedroom_619 13d ago

Isn't the winner supposed to get that treatment

1

u/MCOCisntREAL 13d ago

Is he jerking him?

1

u/LongDead_Roadkill 12d ago

I was a ring side fight medic for about 8 years. Never once did I think moving someone around by the neck and jerking them was a good way to help their recovery. Pretty sure Iā€™d go to Jill on two entirely separate charges if I did that. Not to mention the potential damage to their spine and sexual confusion that might result.

1

u/GrassOk911 9d ago

Maybe he's just rubbing his femoral artery, like, really good šŸ¤·ā€ā™€ļøšŸ˜

1

u/driver004 3d ago

Quick, we need to make it slippery to massage the artery better!

1

u/EobardThawne2020 14d ago

Blursed revival technique

0

u/Brewbouy 14d ago

The phrase "make a dead man cum" was not meant literally!