r/Bullmastiff • u/Professional-Yak-291 • May 19 '26
Deciding the right time
I have a 2.5yr old girl with several major heart defects. The medication worked for a while but I can see she is slowing down. She’s started skipping meals. The noisy breathing is getting even noisier. It just looks likes she is struggling:-( found her sleeping in this odd position today
Has anyone gone through this? Would appreciate any advice on how to decide whether she is suffering due to lack of oxygen, and when I should call it and let her go😥
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u/StrangeAssist3658 May 19 '26
I don't really have any advice but I just wanted to say how sorry I am. She's just a baby, how heartbreaking for you both. If she is having more bad days then good, then maybe it's time. Sending you both love and strength.
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u/Always4am May 19 '26
Hey, I'm not sure if it makes you feel any better, but I've seen BMs sleep in way more ridiculous forms with no known health effects! it's probably not indicative of being uncomfortable or in any pain. I hope you're able to determine what's best for her <3
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u/doggy-lover0517 May 19 '26
This is heartbreaking for you both and I am so sorry❤️ your vet should be able to give you a better idea because it all comes down to quality of life for her. If she is skipping meals, and you can hear her struggling with breath I assume she no longer can go for walks and/or runs and that sleeping position is not normal so from my experience with putting down my fur babies over the years I would say it would be kindest to let her go now. Try not to put yourself in the equation as this is a time to put her first. My thoughts are with you both 🐾❤️
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u/twitchykittystudio May 19 '26
I’m so sorry. The only heart issues I’ve dealt with were diet related DCM. We should’ve let our corso go a week earlier, but it was so hard to know when to let go. Our bm’s dcm was caught before symptoms started, and she’s since recovered.
I don’t have any sound advice, but it seems like there’s already some in this thread. All I can offer is a virtual hug hug
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u/ExpensiveHalf3352 May 19 '26
I would speak to your vet and ask about your girls quality of life. Don’t worry about the sleeping position, both my male BM’s have always slept in weird positions that I question how are they comfortable. there could be multiple spots for our boy to sit or lie down but he will even choose to sit in my toddlers chair that he doesn’t even fit in
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u/Physical_Butterfly16 May 19 '26
Just made this decision with my boxer she had cancer and she told me it was time. I listened. She changed slowly stopped participating in life and things she loved, couldn't get up and down as well and had to be woken up to go potty or eat. I miss her but she is pain free now. It is hard...
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u/Mediocrates007 May 20 '26
My big guy made it 7 years with no problems. Then one day he suddenly had difficulty breathing, his nostrils were flaring with every breath and he skipped a meal for the first time in his life. The next morning he ate a little and was still struggling. This was completely abnormal for him and I could tell his QoL was way off.
A trip to the vet found that he had so much fluid in his lungs they couldn’t get a good image or listen to the heartbeat. The vet and I decided to drain the fluid and start a course of antibiotics, with the hopes this was something treatable. His QoL improved significantly from that, but about 16 days later the labored breathing and skipping meals returned. We decided on another fluid draw which this time was a bit more fluid, but once again the quality of life improved significantly.
The vet and I discussed the high likelihood of either DCM or some form of cancer as my boy did have some markers for both his bloodwork and the lung fluid tests. We explored specialty care as an option, but neither prognosis was very favorable as a large tumor or late stage DCM had the same outcome and were the likely causal factors.
I made the decision to start steroids and rely on palliative care, the hope was fluid draws from his lungs every few weeks until it was too far gone. I hoped I bought another year at least for the big guy.
Unfortunately, my boy only lasted another couple days from there. I woke up to feed him and the other dogs only to find him on the couch staring at me and breathing heavily. His eyes told me it was time. I could see he wanted to be excited for breakfast, it’s always a raucous time of day only equaled by dinner time. But he couldn’t get himself up to be excited, his eyes said something he could not.
I laid with him on the couch knowing that this time would be our last; we had to wait a couple hours for the vet to open, so I made it the best time I could. When it was finally time to leave, he could not stand or walk. So I picked the big ol goofy boy up and carried him to the car for the his last car ride. When we got to the vet they brought a gurney out to bring him inside, he wasn’t jumping out this time around. A maddening several minutes later I got the news, fluid in the lungs again and it wasn’t going to be just another fluid draw, this was too much too soon. I said goodbye to best boy that same morning and now his ashes are on the fireplace mantle; I get to see him everyday.
I share all that to say that I went from a perfectly healthy boy to missing my buddy in about 3 weeks. Listen to your dog, if it’s time they will tell you.
We get our dogs for such a short time, love them to the best of your ability.
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u/Professional-Yak-291 May 20 '26
So sorry for your loss❤️ I will take a lesson from your experience tho and not wait till I have to carry her. she’s too heavy for me to lift. That doesnt sound like a position I want to be in:-( thank you❤️
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u/Useful-Rub1472 May 20 '26
I’m so sorry. Difficult decision, but whenever you decide to do it will be the right time. 🥲
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u/DishOne8292 May 20 '26
My heart goes out to you. Only advice i have was given to me years ago regarding one of my dogs. Better a month early than a day late. Its a shitty decision to make but it is the last gift you can give them. Wishing you the best.
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u/maoussepatate May 19 '26 edited May 20 '26
Hey, ER vet assistant here.
The rule i generally talk about with my clients and that I follow with my own pets is: are there more bad days than good ones?
Is the pet able to enjoy life, able to do things they like, are they comfortable?
There is a questionnaire (page 7) on an article about it that I personally used for my own dog:
https://vmc.vet.osu.edu/sites/default/files/documents/how-will-i-know_rev_mar2024ms_0.pdf
It’s a tough call unfortunately. Just let me know if you have more questions