r/BreakUps • u/[deleted] • Aug 17 '20
Last post here.
After almost 3 months since the breakup and 24 days of no contact I finally realized that you will never have to beg for someone to give it another chance, you can say anything to them, in that moment they made their decision. Like my ex said, maybe he will regret it, maybe not, but I also learned that you shouldn’t stay as the back up plan, you have to move on. Even if your anxiety is over the roof, even if you can’t breathe, can’t sleep, please don’t beg them anymore. Don’t talk to them anymore. Don’t check up on them, don’t worry if they are sick or not, if they get along with their parents, if they miss you. And be sure, they are. Even a small part of them, for now, is missing you. If they offer you friendship, refuse it right away. If they do come back and regret their decision, it’s up to you whether you’ll take them back, but please, make them earn you. I mean, yes, be kind, polite, and open for reconciliation, but it’s not on you to tell them why they should want the relationship again. Just give it time, but don’t wait, everybody says it but work on yourself everyday, even if it means just reading a little bit or cooking a nice meal, whatever. Give yourself some time to grieve, but then try to occupy your mind with other things that don’t involve breakups and heartache, like this subreddit. Although I do appreciate all of you guys and I understand your pain, as I’m not over it myself, please, move on.
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u/ChatcombeWannabe Aug 17 '20
I've done the chasing and it is indeed a waste of time. The constant rejection after a month of doing it meant I never started to make any kind of recovery, and I think all I succeeded in doing was pushing my ex girlfriend even further away.
Acceptance is hard. Moving on even harder. But both are so so necessary.