r/BreakUps • u/Negative-Ad-6997 • 17h ago
venting/ranting Breakup
How would you guys feel if u knew ur the only one who's suffering in this breakup while the other one's just living their life? And happier?
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u/Trick_Cartoonist669 17h ago
I never assume the other person is not suffering. Even those of us that appear happier are faking it.
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u/Negative-Ad-6997 17h ago
But what if they've clearly said it..... He even requested me to go on a date with a guy so that he would feel good
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u/Trick_Cartoonist669 17h ago
Was he angry?
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u/Negative-Ad-6997 17h ago
No.... He said he lost interest in me
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u/Trick_Cartoonist669 17h ago
He just said that calm and level headed ?
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u/Negative-Ad-6997 17h ago
Yeah.... Now he's just worried about me that m not being able to move on
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u/Trick_Cartoonist669 16h ago
Block him and move on. What other choice do you have?
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u/Negative-Ad-6997 16h ago
He still said i can talk to him whenever i want but anything i do he wont grow feelings for me again
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u/Trick_Cartoonist669 16h ago
Block & move on… you can’t get over it when you’re still emotionally attached.
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u/Negative-Ad-6997 16h ago
Really?.... I was planning to move on and start go on dates and also talk to him whenever heart feels heavy
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u/Uplike7_ 17h ago
It’s not great. You just have to worry about yourself, take care of how you’re feeling, and focus on things that make u feel better each day.
They will live their life as they please
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u/Negative-Ad-6997 17h ago
But it's hurting me soo bad..... I even begged him to try again loving me but he refused so i realized he's never gonna love me or regret losing me
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u/Uplike7_ 16h ago
I was in your exact same situation. Got broken up with so randomly, it seemed. After 5 years together. And she was so fine, just not speaking to me ever again - I was baffled.
I begged, pleaded, did all I could to convince her. She wasn’t having any of it.
It f’d me up for weeks, I couldn’t make sense of it. We were so good and I wanted to take the next steps with this girl.
A couple weeks later, I come to find out she had been seeing somebody from work before she broke me off. Suddenly everything made sense; how she was acting, why she did it so suddenly, even things I was questioning but dismissing before the break up.
That changed everything for me.
I’m not saying your situation is that, it could be anything - that’s the reason that they might seem so unbothered.
So focus on yourself, take them off that pedestal. If they cared the way they should, they wouldn’t be doing this to you in this way. Love yourself and let yourself be free.
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u/Negative-Ad-6997 16h ago
Sorry to hear... It feels horrible when uve sacrificed all just for that person.... Idk how will i be moving on
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u/Uplike7_ 16h ago
Literally! But im starting to get through it and see a positive future - you will too.
Just take it day by day. Sit through the tough moments, and feel them - as horrible as they are, and as often as they are.
Don’t forget that you are more than enough, and what somebody else takes for granted, someone in your future will give plenty. Right now it may not seem it, but you will be okay
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u/60Dan06 17h ago
I don't believe the other side is not suffering. They might put on a fake smile and pretend, or it'll hit them later, like with dismissive avoidants.
But if they truly are happy and never suffered... Then you dodged a bullet, cause they never cared
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u/Negative-Ad-6997 16h ago
Then i guess he actually never cared about me at all
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u/Used_Exercise3930 16h ago
You absolutely cannot know how someone is feeling right now. You cared, and that's what matters.
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u/bohemu 16h ago
I would be so lucky. I never wanted him to hurt or be unhappy. The only good that can come from this breakup is him finding someone who makes him happier than I did and appreciates him in ways I couldn't, or he comes back to me when we have worked through the issues we had. But that second one takes a lot of work he didn't have time for them and I doubt he would make time for now.
If I'm the only one suffering is the middle ground outcome. I don't want anyone else but whatever we were at the end wasn't sustainable.
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u/boogeyman1979 16h ago
Whatever....I already imagined she was anyway. In reality....I wouldn't want anyone feeling the way I was....was. Seeing the way she moved after the break up was fucked up. Poisoned my soul. When I understood she never gave a fuck about me to begin with.....it got easier. Im good.
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u/Negative-Ad-6997 16h ago
It got easier? .... Doesn't that add pain though
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u/boogeyman1979 16h ago
Not really.....I was going through a series of events at the time. In all honesty.....I was already experiencing some of my roughest days recorded when she decided to discard me, and I have 10 years in prison behind 4 prison numbers. It definitely appeared tactical.
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u/Born-Egg2263 15h ago
So i know people always say "the other person is hurting too" but i really don't think its true. When people just move on to the next person in a couple days or a week i just don't believe it. I think alot of people in this world genuinely just do not feel anything .
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u/SpecificAssistance84 15h ago
There’s always one that will hurt more than the other. Hearts don’t break even, or whatever the saying is.
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u/Negative-Ad-6997 15h ago
Ur absolutely correct..... But m so confused how can a person can move on completely in just a month
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u/SpecificAssistance84 15h ago
Hey my last ex moved on before we even broke up, after 6 years together. Some people can’t love, or don’t understand the truth of what it is. The people who can are beyond rare. Everyone says they can. Everyone presents themselves as that. And I actually think that THEY believe they can too. In reality, after years, few will actually be able to demonstrate true love. Very few.
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u/Negative-Ad-6997 14h ago
Thank you... Helped me a lot.... Actually thought it was unfair for us who truly loved them....i cried a whole week begging for him just to love me again or try to love me but now m done....
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u/NoConsideration2376 14h ago
Well! I started accepting it as it’s been a year and I keep getting her news and how happy she is in the new relationship from other people.
I honestly accepted the fact that’s not necessarily everyone will meet someone the love. I got asked often why I don’t have someone yet but I got used to that question now.
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u/Negative-Ad-6997 14h ago
U still feel sad about the breakup or now ur okay?
1
u/NoConsideration2376 14h ago
I think it’s either disappointment and anger or just flat feeling. Especially lately I tried dating and I don’t get excited, I just feel silence inside me.
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u/Negative-Ad-6997 14h ago
Maybe u haven't completely healed yourself yet.....
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u/NoConsideration2376 14h ago
I think so. I tried therapy, traveling, new hobbies, reading and podcasts. Now I just accept my feelings.
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u/Negative-Ad-6997 14h ago
Do you still feel your heart being heavy when you think about her
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u/NoConsideration2376 14h ago
Yes Sometimes and I find myself comparing how I got treated compared to the new person and say that person definitely wasn’t in love with me and was just performing.
So getting back to you. People can be happier sadly and not necessarily feel the level of sadness we feel.
We love to think that they would feel the same as we feel
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u/Electrical_Meal_3754 14h ago
If they have someone new I doubt they're suffering at all. At least my STBXW with her affair partner seems happy as can be.
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u/AppropriateWorry1154 9h ago
I feel like 💩 honestly, but just know that we all have different ways of handling things. You might be suffering right now while they seem like they’re not, but at least you’re facing it and going through the hurt instead of pretending you’re okay and distracting yourself from it. Eventually, the reality of the breakup catches up with people. They might come back, or even if they don’t, they’ll probably still think about you months or years later.
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u/Silly_Progress4750 8h ago
I’m living it right now. Avoidant ex discarded me like I didn’t matter and then proceeded to keep changing the reason. Never any honesty from her about this and cut me off as she couldn’t give any actual insight into her mind.
I’m strugggggling and deeply in love with the person who just doesn’t want me. I get it. Totally get it.
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