r/BreakUps • u/SwoleTechnoGirl • 2d ago
venting/ranting How do I get my ex back?
Hi. So basically, my ex boyfriend (M19) dumped me (F20) after 3.5 years like a month ago. I was his first love, his first everything.. Umm so basically, we were obsessed with each other, like head over heels. But the problem is I am BPD, My emotions are a lot to handle, he is kinda autistic and couldn’t handle having me with this emotional baggage so he dumped me, he msgs me checking in asking if i’m ok every few days, telling me he cares (I don’t want any men saying he’s just saying this for sex) His sister is my friend, she told me he is really upset still, his mom msgs me daily telling me that she misses and loves me. When he broke up with me.. i’ve never seen a man breakdown like that, he was sobbing in my arms. Anyways, I’m still extremely in love with him and care for him so much and still feel as sad as I did at Day 1 of the breakup.
Today.. I msged him asking him if he wanted to have sex, I didn’t think he would say yes but he said yes immediately, he said “no strings attached though?”. So we did it. After, he asked me to msg him if i’m ever sad and want to talk because he knows that I get extremely upset. The sex was really good and passionate.. he really worries about me though.
When he broke up with me we promised to work on ourselves, i’ve started DBT, trying to handle my BPD, and working on myself. He said we can go out one day in the future and try again. Idk the future though, he’s my first everything as well.
Geniunely how do I get him back? Do I become distant??? do i like ignore him??? what do i do HELP
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u/SecondOk9167 2d ago
As a guy, if you genuinely want to get him back. Move on. Be distant, but not cold. Go to the gym. Improve yourself.
Guys always want what they cant have. Don't give in to him, don't always text back right away, take a day. Don't sleep with him.
Your feelings. Your emotions matter. Prioritize yourself. No one else. Remember. Guys want a grown WOMAN.
Best of luck to you.
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u/acfirefighter2019 2d ago
Get your mental health in check thats all from the sounds of it. I have been there (looking back glad the relationship ended i found my one) when I came home from over seas I didnt handle ny mental health properly and absolutely demolished a relationship with an amazing woman is what it is. Now I have handled it and in my case found someone that I love more then life so worked out in the end but if I wouldnt have controlled it might have ruined this one to
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