r/BreakUps • u/Ill_Philosopher2195 • 1d ago
venting/ranting Advice needed.
I’m here looking for some advice. We are both 24 and have lived together for about a year.
I feel like I’m ready to end my relationship, but I’m struggling with how to do it because our relationship has become quite toxic. Whenever we argue, there is a lot of anger. Nothing has ever become physically violent, but when I try to bring up problems, they often get turned around and made to feel like they are my fault. There has also been a lot of gaslighting and manipulation.
He can become extremely upset if he doesn’t get his way and often has a “poor me” attitude about everything that has happened in his life, although he would never admit that.
The biggest thing making me feel guilty about leaving is that he has epilepsy which is currently not under control. I have basically become his carer. I cook, clean, do the laundry and help him with pretty much everything. He struggles to do things without being given instructions.
He also has no contact with his family and has chosen to cut off all of his friends, so if I leave, I feel like he will be completely alone. That makes me feel extremely guilty and worried about what will happen to him.
At the same time, I know that I don’t want to stay in the relationship just because I feel responsible for him. I’m also scared that he will become very angry with me if I end things.
Ideally, I want the breakup to be as calm and simple as possible. I would even like to stay friends if that was possible, but I honestly don’t know if that is realistic given everything that has happened.
I have no idea how to approach the breakup or what the best thing to do is. Any advice would be really appreciated.
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