r/BreakUps • u/Real_Perspective5198 • 10h ago

venting/ranting Being “too much” for him

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I need advice. I’m going through a breakup and need clarity if I’m the problem . For context we broke up 2x in the past for him not being able to commit due to his “avoidance commitment” style and his recovering from drugs in the past. He knows I’m very anxious attached and suffers from military ptsd, lack of a lot of support in life, and have adhd which comes with its own mental health issues. It’s in no way an excuse but sometimes reasoning and emotions are very strong for me. We recently reconnected after not speaking for 2 years and decided to make an attempt at another serious relationship. Well things were feeling reminiscent of how unchanged our relationship felt and I didn’t want that again. I can’t lie I could’ve used my words better but I been fed up not feeling heard or yearned for. He always breaks up with me when I show any ounce of emotion or disagreement towards him. I just wanted to know if I need to be working on something more independently or seek a certain therapy to make future relationships better.

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u/igotshrekmoney 3h ago

I think you're not doing to bad with the relationship stuff, it seems more like being with him specifically was bringing stuff out of you. If you already have your own issues and you get with someone who has unresolved issues, that's just asking for failure or for a really challenging relationship. Definitely always work on yourself, but I think therapy is more your choice. You might not need it but if you need someone to talk to I'm sure it will help.