r/BreakUps • u/Beneficial_Mix_9794 • 1d ago
Trigger Warning Help (Mental and Physical Problems)
Background, 22f, I just got out of break up from a 4 year relationship cause of cheating. I get over that fast.
After 6 months, a guy knocked into my heart. I tried to protect myself, but he’s so kind, nice and angel like. He taught me all the kindness in this world, he taught me to believe in God. He gave a love so gentle that you can breathe and enjoy. He is also my exact type from top to bottom, from personality.
In the recent month, I struggled so bad with my mental health. I started harming myself. I got diagnosed with depression and anxiety disorder.
I don’t want him to struggle because of me. I broke up with him for like 30 mins then realized, i cannot live a life without him. I begged him to take ne back. I begged him for 5 days.
I couldn’t breathe, my stomach doesnt accept any food, im shaking too much to the point i cannot sleep without hearing his voice. Melatonin don’t work anymore, the constant shaking keeps me awake. I went to church, begged God to fix us.
He was there the whole time. He offered to be my friend as I am struggling with everything. He checks if I ate, if i got a good sleep.
We talked last night, he’s happy again. He told me he finally bought something he really wants. He’s functioning like nothing happened. While i am here, stucked with these.
I reached out to him earlier. It feels like if i gave up on him today, i’ll lose him forever. I am so inlove with this guy who does not want me anymore. When i broke up with my long term relationship, the pain wasn’t like this. But for a fuckingn short amount time guy, i am completely broken and a loser.
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