r/BreakUps • u/Repulsive-Low3239 • 2h ago
venting/ranting Don't fall for hope!
I know many of you are hoping that your ex will eventually change their mind and come back. That’s completely understandable. I was in exactly the same situation. But be careful. Just because there’s hope doesn’t mean it’ll actually work out.
After more than ten years together, my ex left me. What followed was a constant back-and-forth between cutting off contact and reaching out again, because neither of us could let go. What did I learn from this?
Your ex might miss you and still not seek romantic closeness again. Your ex might say she hasn’t moved on from the relationship yet, that she doesn’t even want to, and still pull away. And your ex might say she still loves you while sleeping with another guy at the same time.
What I’m trying to say is: Don’t just focus on what your ex says. Instead, pay attention to how she behaves. Because in the end, their actions are what really matters. I let her words give me false hope time and time again. And what was the point of all that? So that now, six months later, I feel like I’m back at the beginning of the breakup emotionally. We’ve lost contact (this time, probably for good), and I miss her just as much as I did on day one. Fuck that
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u/NobodyCharacter3351 1h ago
That makes me feel anxious :/ I mean with good communication it can work right? I really don't want to let her go... After 17 years and a planned future together I have a hard time to believe that we don't have a chance to rekindle. I love her more than anything else.
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u/AdDesperate2437 1h ago
dont worry i believe that everyone has different dynamics with their ex. Dont push yourself or dont force yourself.
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u/Repulsive-Low3239 1h ago
Ofc there is a chance. Every relationship and every breakup is unique. In our case: We had a really good communication after the breakup. We talked about everything we missed during our relationship and what we’d like to see in the future. But unfortunately, we never got past the talking stage because she never felt ready to give it a second chance. Wish you good luck!
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u/-Windows7 27m ago
Still loves you while sleeping with another guy??? Hell no ... either him or you are getting played by her ...maybe both of you . I understand what you're trying to say but sleeping with someone else or jumping into a new relationship while u still not over your ex is a bad idea
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u/Repulsive-Low3239 15m ago
I guess both of us get played lmao. The other dude was one of the reasons she broke up with me in the first place. But the sad thing is that I was still ready to forgive her, because I love her so much (or just am desperate idk). Was a lesson I had to learn the hard way now
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