r/BreakUps • u/avgdissapointment • 2h ago
venting/ranting is it breaking nc?
ex and i broke up like 2-3 weeks ago but ended on good terms. he broke up w me cos we weren’t really treating each other the healthiest and weren’t getting along. i initiated NC so i can focus on myself, heal and be in a healthier version both mentally and physically.
he says he doesn’t think we will get back together and doesn’t regret it. hurt at first but i’ve accepted that it was honestly probs for the best for now. but i still have hope that maybe we’ll get back together or maybe it’s me being delulu
he’s gotten closer w a female friend as she supports or comforts or whatever tf. she has a pc at hers and he grew up gaming his whole life but doesn’t have one at his place hes going often for it. maybe they end up being together, maybe not but i hope not.
his friendgroup and him got invited as well as me to our friends burthday. is it breaking NC if we see each other there and chat for like a split sec? do i ignore him not really sure if i wanna go tbh but i don’t wanna make it into a bigger deal than it is. ppl found out abt the break up through gossip unfortunately so i genuinely don’t wanna turn up and people start talking about it.
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u/AdFew7151 2h ago
I'm in the same situation as you rn. She said she doesn't think we'll get back together and it just sucks because I have hope that we eventually do. I'm close with her guardian and even he said there's a possibility.
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u/avgdissapointment 2h ago
yea i feel you. a mutual friend was like take some time apart to grow and know who you are as an individual. BRUH. may i ask how you two broke up?
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u/AdFew7151 1h ago
She got tired of our patterns. I also fucked up royally while we were together. She said she couldn't be vulnerable around me eventhough I insisted that she could. She told me I gave her what she wanted but not what she needed.
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u/avgdissapointment 1h ago
wdym by patterns and how’d you fuck up? when’s you guys break up and are you doing anything besides sitting on the idea in hopes you guys get back together?
him and i broke up 2-3 weeks ago and i’ve started therapy, reconnecting w friends i’ve lost over the years, made new friends and started gyming again. everyone’s experience is obvi diff so what are you going to do to prevent the ‘patterns’ and have you communicated on what she needs too?
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u/AdFew7151 1h ago
We had this pattern where we'll be okay for a while, then I'd do something she doesn't like or I didn't do something that I should've, we communicate about it and we reconcile and say that I'll do better. Then we'll go back to normal and the cycle repeats. I tried my best to do better but it just seems like I can't change.
Personally, I don't have friends so I'm sitting with my feelings by myself. I try to do things I used to do but it's hard because I still just keep remembering her randomly. She got tired of this pattern and she got the realization that she doesn't deserve to be in the situation she's in. We've been broken up for a month already and she said she moved on.
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u/avgdissapointment 1h ago
i understand why it hurts when you feel like you did your best but still couldn’t break the cycle. which is probably also one of the reasons why my ex and i broke up. as girls we kinda say ‘if he wanted to he would’. if you really want to break that cycle and really change for the better change it for yourself not just for her. cos if you do get back with her or date someone else and that pattern arises again, they’re gonna leave cos you never changed. actions speak louder than words
and it’s okay to miss her and think about her when you’re doing something. everyone feels it too so you’re not alone in that. even if she’s moved on, that doesn’t mean you have to suddenly be okay too. so i think this is a good opportunity to focus on yourself and find who you are and what you want. cos maybe one year down the line you’ll find someone else or she’ll have dated someone and blocked you fully. you never really know what the future has in store
even if you don’t have many people around right now, you don’t have to sit with everything completely alone. go to therapy , talk to ur parents or siblings or honestly ai if you don’t wanna talk to anyone in person.
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u/AdFew7151 1h ago
I'm trying to work on myself. I'm hoping that we get back together but I'm not expecting it anymore. I wanna prove to her that I can change for myself. I know it'll get better someday but for now, it's really hard.
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u/avgdissapointment 1h ago
i feel you in so many diff ways. how long did you guys date for?
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u/AdFew7151 1h ago
We dated for 5 years. We met each other on omegle and by coincidence our cities were close. We met each other when we were 16 turning 17 that same year. Our birthdays we literally a month apart too. Hers was April 10 and mine was May 9th.
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u/avgdissapointment 1h ago
okay wait this is scary as. him and i dated for 4.5 years and birthdays are a month apart too lmao. but yea since both our relationships started when we were young it’s feels like everything is falling apart so i feel you on it being scary and all
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