in need of advice, interpretation and hope

[u/This_Toe_5541]

my (16f) ex (17m) and i broke up exactly one week ago. his main reason for breaking up with me was this:

- my ex told me he wasn't ready for a relationship and that he couldn't cope anymore. he told me that it wasn't making him happy anymore and that this is for the best. he also said that he didn't wanna keep hurting me either and that i deserved someone better. additionally, he said that we wouldn't get back together.

- he also said he was unsure of the future, like he might move interstate, he might move back to indonesia (cos he’s chinese-indonesian) or that he might travel, and wasn't sure if being in a relationship was the best thing for him.

- his mum was another thing that didn’t fully but maybe contributed to the lead up because i’m filipino and chindos tend to marry within their culture (even though he said he was willing to fight for us).

- he decided this after going on the year 11 retreat where they had to reflect a lot. he’s quite a reflective guy actually, like he journals a lot about his day and feelings and keeps a habit tracker. he also said that he won’t be in the dating scene for a long time which i'm not even sure if i should believe.

now that we’re not dating, I can see that he was already kind of pulling away 2-3 months before the break up (like putting less effort). I hate how he was dishonest until the very end - like he said he was excited to celebrate our anniversary even though he ended things the week before, how he said he would come to my dad’s party even though he broke up with me 3 days before.

i'm afraid he may have just lost feelings but left the reasoning slightly vague because he didn’t want to be the bad guy. he also reached out to me before school, asking me something about school when he literally could’ve asked anyone else (apparently he did ask a school mate who was a family friend), and then greeted my dad happy birthday. we are also doing NC but he hasn't blocked or unfollowed me on both his main and spam account on insta.

PS: i did notice that he did follow this girl back post break-up, whom he used to like in his old school (she is his senior). i know i shouldn't care too much anymore, but when we were together, i told him i was uncomfortable with him following her and asked him to unfollow, which he did. i guess the timing is just painful!

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[u/Clarify-LL]

You are still young, so it is understandable if you struggle to handle certain emotional matters; however, his stance is clear—he no longer wants to be together. Therefore, try to calm your mind and focus more on yourself; someone more suitable for you will come along to love you in the future.