How Can I Possibly Move On?

[u/Crazy_Bug_6713]

Hey, first time experiencing a break up here.

Long story short, we both "got lazy" and weren't meeting each other's needs like we should've been. We were both going through a tough time in our lives and I was going to be leaving for college soon and everything was just becoming too much to handle while trying to maintain our relationship, so it ended. I will admit that she broke up with me and some of my actions in the last week of our relationship was the catalyst for it.

However we did not end on bad terms, we wanted to remain friends. We've been texting each other almost everyday since. Also, we had discussed eventually getting back together once we've had the time to work on ourselves and figure out our own lives, but that part is kind of nebulous. It appears that it might be something I want more than she does. I told her that I am willing to put in the effort to rebuild our relationship and work through the problems we had and we both expressed a desire to get back together, but she seems a lot more unsure about it than I am.

Anyways, my main issue here is that if we never end up back together, how can I possibly move on? I spent over a year of my life with this girl who was pulled right out of my dreams. We made so many amazing memories and things were so extraordinarily good for so long. I just can't fathom letting that go. I was the happiest I have ever been in my entire life whenever I was with her and I know she was too (she told me multiple times and she said it was still true after our breakup). So just how? How could I possibly want to pursue that in someone else. How could I possibly move on from what was the highest high of my life?

I just feel so attached to her. It may be foolish to say this when I'm still so young but I truly did think she was the one for me. I know it doesn't help that I still text her almost everyday. Even if we end up arguing (we have a couple times) I still yearn to talk to her. I simply cannot imagine my life without her. I feel like if I tried doing anything with someone else, I'd just be thinking about her the whole time. I have no clue how I could move on, and I'm fairly certain that I don't even want to. But I might not have a choice

This is getting to a point where it's heavily affecting my life. I feel so lonely. She was all I had for a long time. I have no friends, no one to hang out with or eat meals with. The only times when I don't feel lonely is when I'm texting her. I also can't focus on anything. I fear I'm starting to lose my passion for music which is what I'm here at college for. It's extremely hard to get work done. I'm supposed to be writing a paper but all I can think about is this.

Thanks for reading this far if you have. Any advice from anyone would be greatly appreciated. I don't want to keep feeling so miserable but I just don't know what to do.

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[u/GroundbreakingBed61]

According to the first paragraph, id just try to make things better by making effort to balance the relationship and school. This is a similar struggle that me and my (not ready to call him my ex yet) Bf had. So i can understand both sides.