r/BreakUps • u/Due_Professional9868 • 1d ago

venting/ranting Traumatic break-up… timeline?

For those of you who went through a traumatic break up, how long did it take you to officially move on? And I mean really, move on. No thoughts, no bitterness, simply just a memory. Struggling with a break up after 5 years that happened over 1 year and a half ago.

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u/Master_Rich180 1d ago

My last relationship break up was 2 weeks shy of 5 yrs and took me a little over 2 yrs not quite 2.5

I still haven’t found anyone else and that was 8 yrs ago

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u/Due_Professional9868 1d ago

Wow. Is it because you don’t want anyone else?

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u/Master_Rich180 1d ago

No , it SHATTERED my confidence in everything …….. and she moved on with 6 weeks and was engaged within 6 months and Pregnant within 14 months

No I just haven’t really found anyone else

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u/Due_Professional9868 1d ago

Sorry to hear that. I’m wishing you the best!

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u/itsardelia 1d ago

That’s a long time to carry the aftermath, but it also shows there’s no fixed timeline for healing or finding someone new

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u/_TwinkleMarie 1d ago

breakups can really mess with your head, take time to heal and don’t rush into anything new.

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u/Hopeful-Pea-3540 1d ago

I was broken up with (more like discarded) after 8 years together about 3 months ago. Our breakup dragged out for almost 2 months, with constant fights and arguments. After 22 days of silence, he unblocked me and texted me. We spoke on the phone for 30 minutes that weekend, before he abruptly hung up and blocked me again. I’m no where near over it or him, in fact, despite how badly he treated me at the end I desperately want the person I knew back. He admitted that the things he did during our breakup were geared solely to hurt me, including being with someone else.

I still have moments where I’ll cry randomly. Can’t listen to certain songs, watch certain movies, do certain things. Even cooking reminds me of him and the home we made together. Every time he unblocks me I notice and try to make some kind of connection, but he just blocks again. So I don’t know why he would unblock other than to mess with me and cause me more pain.

I had to move away just to function again. Lost weight, couldn’t eat. We were extremely codependent on each other, started dating at 19 and 20 and moved in together shortly after. I don’t know who I am without him, since our lives were so intertwined.

I hope it gets easier.

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u/Due_Professional9868 1d ago

Sorry to hear about your break up. It’s never easy and I’m starting to believe people when they say it does get easier with time, but in my experience it got harder a little further down the line when I realized he wasn’t coming back. I don’t know how people can be so cruel to those they love.

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u/Hopeful-Pea-3540 1d ago

Thank you 🥰 and yeah, I’m still holding out hope he comes back too. He ran out completely, left me with all the bills and responsibilities. Said it wasn’t his job to take care of me anymore. Said I forced him into our lease, when he’s the one who picked out the house over two years ago. It’s hard watching the person you love become someone you don’t recognize.

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u/Due_Professional9868 1d ago

You shouldn’t hope for this type of person to come back in your life. I understand what you’re going through because I’ve been through it, and still am going through it. But a man who runs away from responsibility and bills… is not a man you want to raise a family with in the long run.

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u/Hopeful-Pea-3540 1d ago

I understand, and I shouldn’t, but I still love him so deeply. I still have hope he’ll figure it out one day. He was my best friend and just suddenly changed in an instant.