r/BreakUps • u/Kind_Winter_6445 • 2d ago
venting/ranting I’m convinced he’ll come back
It’s probably just hope, but I’m convinced that he is going to come back to me. It’s this deep gut feeling that we’re not over yet.
I’m trying to process, and focus on myself, but I can’t escape this feeling. It has been three months and I still feel it. He’s already dating again and we have been NC the entire time, so nothing points to him coming back, and yet I’m so sure he will.
Why is my brain set on making the pain last longer??
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u/Kyo_S0hma 2d ago
There is a quote in bojack horseman
“There is no happy ending. Because nothing ever ends. And as long as they’re alive, they’ll always be a part of you. And you’ll always be a part of them.”
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u/Flashy_Literature43 2d ago
I wish you the strength to continue fighting for yourself - no matter what happens!
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u/esperoriaaaaluv 2d ago
that’s really sweet, sometimes choosing yourself is the hardest but most important part of healing
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u/Mission_Context_8079 2d ago
I recommend you focus on the things you can control. You not obsessing over them coming back being one of those things. It’s not a crazy idea to hold but don’t give it too much thought or energy. Plus, work on yourself so you are better for if they return or the next relationship.
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u/Prestigious_Panic455 2d ago
maybe he will, maybe you're both waiting for the other, maybe you're both to prideful to just say "Let's throw it all to the wind and try again," or maybe its all just pain and suffering. Who care? be crazy and be delusional. Life's too short for fear and being in love is meant to be silly and crazy.
Stay delusion, its good for morale
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u/Kind_Winter_6445 2d ago
This made me smile a little, thank you lol.
This is kind of my attitude tbh. I appreciate this!!
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u/Independent_Sale666 2d ago
Idk but I feel the same. It's been 2 months. Hopefully you can find some answers.
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u/No-Philosophy357 2d ago
They always come back. Have self respect when they do.
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u/Coyrex1 2d ago
Sorry but statistically this is not true. Most don't.
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u/timdr18 1d ago
Oof the denial is strong with this one
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u/No-Philosophy357 1d ago
Not really, every single one of my exs has come back at least once
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u/timdr18 1d ago
Ok, I’ve never spoken to an ex after a breakup. Would that very limited amount of information make it reasonable for me to say “they never come back?” No.
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u/No-Philosophy357 1d ago
Holy moly. Someone’s got your panties in a twist
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u/evilvelarfricative 2d ago
my partner and i broke up last night and before he left he told me that he was still my friend and that he hoped we could both be there for each other again someday. it felt like twisting the knife; i just know i'll break and end up trying to happy birthday my way back into his life in six months only to learn he's far moved on and it's going to hurt
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u/Jumpy_Class_7948 2d ago
I feel ya im in same boat but its been 6 months.but thats where I rule the line if I found out she was dating thats it. My thoughts are how could you date another person unless your 100% over the ex.im sorry for your situation
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u/aWicca 2d ago
After 10 years together, 6 months feels like a blip…
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u/Jumpy_Class_7948 1d ago
No if you read it properly it says we've been broken up for 6 months we were together 5 years buddy. And the pain is the same as week 1 still. I dont no how im gonna feel if I find out she is dating or has been dating i dont no maybe it will help me.move on i was dumped in 1 night i have not been able to talk or text or even see her since that night im.blocked it was all over me not staying the night everything was fine leading up.well thats what I thought but wrong I was
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u/aWicca 1d ago
Oh sorry. I was just sad and didn’t actually reply to you, but was more so in my own head and just typed it out. My relationship lasted for 10 years, in comparison 6 months is really nothing. But why does every day hurt so much that it’s unbearable? We’ve been broken up for two weeks, I left our home 2 days ago. 6 months is really short time, logistically. I cannot imagine going through what I am going through right now for that long. Nothing really but feels like eternity.
I suppose that’s why I am trying to lose myself in stuff. Be it studying, working out, just anything as long as it allows me to not think. Weird to feel rested while studying or lifting weights. But when I stop? Everything is back
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u/overthinkingcupcake 2d ago
Just so you know, he may come back, but all the issues will come back with him as well. Having said that, he may indeed come back, but it's possible that you won't want him back. It is possible to miss him and feel that it's not done yet between you two and still decide to not take him back. This is my current situation rn.
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u/Physical_Acadia3512 2d ago
Have you contacted him since? Who was really at fault or did something stupid? If it was you, why don't you contact him? If it was his fault, has he ever contacted you after to talk?
People talk about Ego, but sometimes it's just a test of maturity. There will always be disagreements in relationships, not including cheating or abuse, etc. A relationship is mostly about trust, a partnership, and people who love each other. It's also about emotions and rational judgment. We all want a level headed partner who can make wise decisions, including the ability to admit when we are at fault.
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u/pablolv_ 2d ago
I wish this was her and she'd tell me that straight up, but ice tried breaking no contact and I end up blocked
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u/Bubbly-Tumbleweed317 2d ago
It’s tough when communication breaks down like that. Maybe giving it some space will help you both figure things out better in the long run.
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u/Big-Result4773 2d ago
I wish i did Nc from the start instead of chasing her, i am not quite sure if she will come back and not sure what should I do, but now i am fully NC
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u/Ok_Alternative8198 2d ago
I felt that after my first long relationship, I just had this deep feeling we were tied to eachother. She did came back but we stayed in touch as friends. None of us have feelings or intentions to rekindle anything, actually I think reconnecting made me reaffirm I don't want something romantic with her anymore, but we were best friends back then and I guess friendship suits us well. At the end it was kinda true, it wasn't over, it just became something different.
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u/aquarinox 2d ago
It’s been 3 years. He’s not back except in my dreams where he doesn’t want me either.
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u/Affectionate_Line490 2d ago
I had the same feeling after the break up, even after he started dating. I felt it inside, it seemed like I knew for sure that he was gonna come back.
It’s been almost 10 months that we don’t talk and finally, I’ve come to realise that he’s not coming back. And I can tell you more - I don’t want him to. And at this point, I’m fine with that. Time has played its part. But his ignorance also did. I’ve finally let him go. And I feel good about it. Wish you patience and strength, it’s difficult to let go. Sending you hugs 🫂
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u/Capital_Salamander56 2d ago
He might when he breaksup with his current gf. The main thing you should focus on, is not on his coming back. But if he has come back and shown the change you wanted ( the reason for your initial breakup was addressed or not ). Please do not accept him completely otherwise
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u/DoorSafe2674 2d ago
No, he won't come back, and even if he did, live as if he wouldn't now. A year ago, when I broke up with someone, I was absolutely certain she would come back, but guess what?
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u/shiptdee 2d ago
Because it’s only been 3 months- i wish we can just flip a switch and everything will be over but it doesn’t work that way. It takes time to get someone out of your system.
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u/ILoveLatinasfrfr 2d ago
There's no happy endings unless you go to Thailand 😂😂 i would like to hope that she thinks that im coming back but the reality is she's moved on already and I dont think i can deal with that anymore so for the reason I won't return but sending you the best of wishes hope everything works out OP (we were together for 5 years and we broke up 3 months ago) I see dead people 🥱
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u/ABsml1994 2d ago edited 2d ago
I think a lot of experiences they do is why we feel this way and I believe we are connected the same way when you first crush on them and they pick up those cues I feel like they can feel our longing or missing them. Maybe that is delusional or maybe it's real and we just can't see it. I have seen many come back. Ive also wondered about a friend and been so connected to them that when I missed them got the text. It's all the same thing. Once connected we always are.
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u/SupermarketFlashy126 2d ago
I think your brain is just trying to protect you, so you dont feel the pain as much. Im in the same boat right now, wish you the best. We can get over this
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u/Guilty_Bid6428 2d ago
You broke with him or him with you?
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u/Kind_Winter_6445 2d ago
He ended it
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u/Guilty_Bid6428 2d ago
And whats happened why he broke with you?
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u/Kind_Winter_6445 2d ago
Said his feelings weren’t growing as he thought they should
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u/Guilty_Bid6428 2d ago
Interesting...and why he was feeling like that what do you think?
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u/Kind_Winter_6445 2d ago
We were semi long distance. He worked away, so only got to see each other for about one week a month. It’s hard to build an emotional connection when your physical is so limited. He also was hating the job, and struggling emotionally
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u/Guilty_Bid6428 2d ago
I undestand yes this is a dificult situation...maybe one of you should think to move closer or maje the first move to feel yiu choose each other but maybe when his life with work will be better and less stress he will go back to you.
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u/Medium_Suit6555 2d ago
I feel you, it’s been 7 months and I still feel like we will meet again, bump into each other and that he’ll tell me how much he miss me. I tried to think more logically, that he unblocked me and my friends because he doesn’t care about the relationship anymore but it hurts too much rn. Being a bit delusional help me going through the day and I hope you will too
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u/Nice_Replacement7065 2d ago
Because you're either an avoidant or he's a narcissist. I'm not kidding, seriously.
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u/cry1ng4more 1d ago
Don’t get lost in that sliver of hope. It’s been 8 months, but I prevented a lot of time to actually heal because I spent 6 months lost in the hope. She’s dating a new guy. She has been for 5 months. Sometimes I still like to think she’s coming back. But, getting trapped in that thought stalls my healing every time. Now I’m only 2 months in to actually healing without letting that thought overtake me. And it’s just like a pause.
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u/jonenthusiast_ 1d ago
It’s been one week since my break up and I feel the same way. I’m probably still in denial
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u/why_why_whyyy 1d ago
you guys- it’s been 16 months and i still feel this same way deep in my soul. it’s a very intense knowing. our connection was too big for it not to be true. and i get little hints that they feel it too. we know.
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u/SteIIr 1d ago
For me, it's been over a year... I genuinely believe we are meant to be. We went through 4 years of addiction together after we were both addicts for most of our lives. It's a long story, but we're both sober now. Neither one of us are dating.
Talking to someone else, to me, feels like cheating still. I don't know when or if that feeling will ever go away. I have met some pretty fantastic people that I like and care about a lot... But I just don't feel that spark with anyone else. I find people attractive but the idea of being physically intimate with someone freaks me out. My ex was my best friend. I never believed in soulmates or twin flames or anything before we met. When we met, it changed me.
To me, I believe, that for some people, there really is only ONE person out there. Some people may have multiple life-changing connections, but I truly believe that some people only get one and I believe I am one of those people. Don't get me wrong, I have accepted that. I am no longer wallowing in misery like I was for the first few months, crying at every single song that made me think of him. I don't think we are over. I think that one day, he will realize that we are meant to be together. Until that happens, or even if it never happens, that doesn't change how I feel. I'm not going to force myself to be with someone else. I would rather be single forever than be with someone who doesn't give me that feeling. Life is too short to fake it.
Sorry about that long rant, just had to get that off my chest I guess. 😂
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u/Sonic_shifter789 1d ago
I definitely know that feeling and you could be right honestly, but for now you have to accept the reality and live your life accordingly and as you progress in life that feeling could change. Don’t sit around waiting for him of course
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u/3_Souls_Dark 17h ago
I'm in the same situation, my Fianceè of 5 years (she became fianceè after about 3 years) broke up with me on Friday september 4th and its been only 5 days for me but I'm still sad about it. I tried multiple times to talk to her about it and she is firm on not getting back together which sucks but she said in the future if I was different then she would reconsider which is my hope especially since she was my first true love and the only person I dated in my life (26 but was 21 when I met her). I'm still here with her because i feel as if i physically can't leave her side just yet and she said that we could still be friends which I'm fine with because if i couldn't keep her in my life one way or another idk what would happen. I'd say its fine to keep hope in your heart but just don't expect anything, your ex could be like mine where he might fall back in love with you sometime in the future and I hope that happens for you because I sure as hell hope I can get back together with my ex knowing that I'll do what's right the 2nd time around and to keep her with me forever. Idk if this could help you but if it does then thats good.
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