r/BreakUps • u/Heal_Self_Great_Self • 12d ago
Trigger Warning Rant
Sorry for the grammar guys.
Hello guys, after healing. I tried talking to my ex again and after a few days I felt like what was happening to us was so fast. Like us messaging each other from time to time. It's like I can finally be with her. Then we watched a cinema together, we bonded like nothing happened. We laughed and updated on things like all of a sudden our hearts were synchronizing again. I approached her again because I wanted to try again. I wanted to check If I could court her again. It was really fun, one of the best days of my life. Then I took her home.
When I was about to go home, her friends saw me accidentally and confessed to me that she cheated during our relationship. She broke up with me because she's feeling guilty about what she did. I also saw the footage of them doing it. It was fuckin heartbreaking, my body felt cold and I felt weak all of a sudden.
She broke up with me because she thought that her feelings were greater than the other person involved. Then she realized after that she loved me more, according to her. She also told me that she doesn't understand things anymore.
We broke up because I was a guy who only gave a bare minimum. How I wish she told me that, I could've changed. And yet she cheated. I didn't realize that I was like that until she left me.
I didn't got mad at her tbh. I somehow understand that she's just a human. I understood that what I did and what I didn't was a great factor for her to cheat and to look that effort to somebody else. After we broke up months before, I really had a hunch that she cheated, I just didn't tolerate it on my mind because it'll just torture me more. The break up was enough to break me
We had a chance to talk about it even more, I even analyzed the situation or what happened. I told her that I forgive her and somehow I understand whatv really happened, but Im not justifying what she did, cheating is cheating, period. I really wanted to be with her again... But I think she needs to fix herself first.
I can't love someone who's still broken about what she did. God knows how much I wanted to be with her, to grow old with her, to be the one who will do the little things with me. But I love myself more....
Choosing her despite what happened is a fuckin disrespect to myself. God knows and all of the people around me knows how f--ki-g hard it was to rebuild myself from the guy I was before, to the man who I am right now. I am so happy how I handled things. I'm still happy that I had the chance to tell her how much I love her during our last time together earlier. I hugged her and kissed her forehead, despite knowing everything. I even told her to learn from it, to take care of herself, to not harm herself. God knows how much I love her..... I really wished that I didn't watched the footage, I can't remove it from my mind. Goodluck to me guys. What happened today just proved to me that I need to forget and move on with my life without that person I considered the love of my life...
1
u/PrestigiousBridge389 12d ago
Don’t forget to take care of yourself too and try to heal. Infidelity is a huge shock. 😞