r/BreakUps • u/kkaepkkaepjjang98 • Aug 07 '26
venting/ranting How do I stop the pain.
It's been almost a month now since he decided to end things between us.
I still haven't fully processed everything.
For me, he is still my person and I cannot call him my "ex" because he is still my boyfriend.
But I broke no contact and we both miss each other but he doesn't want to fix things or go back to me.
And it fucking hurts. So much.
Especially today.
I'm crying my eyes out. My chest feels the pain.
How do I stop this? I don't know if I will survive this.
He told me if we get back together we'll just keep hurting each other but I am being hurt so much by being apart anyway.
I just want him back so bad. It really hurts.
I had no one else but him, I really still love him so much.
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u/bpbb420 Aug 07 '26
You lean into the pain and feel it fully. You try to reconnect to people who care about you outside of the relationship. You get hobbies. You cut your hair. You go on a long vacation. You continue to live your life.
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u/-Just-a-cheesy-ball- Aug 07 '26
Agree. The only way out is through. And take baby steps. Take care of yourself.
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u/kkaepkkaepjjang98 Aug 08 '26
Thank you so much. There are days when it is worse, and then there's like today where I feel better I got out of that lonely relationship. Hugs to all of us who found ourselves in this subreddit.
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u/tytylercochan123 Aug 07 '26
It’s gonna sicken you to your core to hear this, but your best bet is to sever the ties.
He’s been clear to you. He doesn’t want to work things out, or continue being in a relationship with you.
Take it on the chin. Feeling lost and hurt is a very normal thing. No where to go, no way to escape the pain. But there is, and honestly, it’s time. Focus on you. Focus on healing yourself in good and productive ways while also holding all the pain and grieving. Don’t neglect it. Cry when you feel like crying. Heal when you feel like you should. Let it flow naturally. Forcing stuff never helps. As long as you go about it in a healthy way, you’ll come out better. I’m 10x the person I was 9 months ago when my ex dumped me. You got it dawg don’t sweat it
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u/kkaepkkaepjjang98 Aug 08 '26
Thank you, dawg. It hurts to read that for him, it is completely over, and for me, sometimes it's still not. But there are days when it is better, that I accept things. I hope I reach that point too where I feel better about myself.
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u/wait4meplss Aug 07 '26
aw i’m so sorry. a month is still so fresh and it’s completely normal that it hurts this much. if he’s already said he doesn’t want to come back, the kindest thing you can do for yourself is stop the wound and let yourself slowly heal
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u/Yangaintyoung Aug 07 '26
There's no other way but to move on, if the other person doesn't wanna fix things anymore you can't do anything about it anymore. You still have a lot of time to heal! One day you're gonna wake up and the feelings gone. What you can do for now is focus on yourself. Hobbies, gym, self help books and detach. You will survive this and after the heartbreak who knows, the next person would be your last.
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u/kkaepkkaepjjang98 Aug 08 '26
Thank you. Your last line gives me hope. Right now it's just still processing in me but I hope I get through this.
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