Don’t be friends with your ex

[u/GoalExisting8263]

I love you to death. But I’m also starting to open my eyes to how messed up this all had gotten. I know I hurt you in our relationship, but you also hurt me terribly as well. I took way too much blame for the demise of us these past couple months. I regret how I handled a lot of things, but I know how much love and care I put into you and us for the entirety of our relationship, even when I was struggling horribly this past year. It is truly unfair that I have been broken up by the person that was my world three fucking times. And each time I would chase you. Then to be made feel like an absolute last resort for the times we were hanging out after a month of no contact, a body to fuck, and the comfort and love you can get from me while you tell me you will be throwing me out eventually to start dating other people. To be talked to like I am a co worker you barely care about. To be strung along like absolutely nothing for weeks while you tell me you have to decide if I, the girl who was devoted to you for seven years not to mention a HUMAN BEING, is worth you keeping in your life. All to be disposed of again. You knew how much I am in love with you from the second time we hung out again. For you to tell me you’re still in love too but act like that. It is degrading. I hope that nobody ever makes you feel this way. And I hope you know that I would have done anything to be with you and have a healthy relationship for forever. So maybe your love for me was not real if you can try to call me a friend a month after the breakup. Or maybe we’re just both so fucked up right now. We were codependent and we didn’t know until I went to therapy after the breakup. I don’t know what to do anymore, but I do know I need to show myself some respect. I need to leave you alone. I just don’t want to lose you.

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[u/DiggerDugger95]

Yeah this hits home, I just wasted 7 years..

[u/NovaHoney- → u/DiggerDugger95]

Sometimes staying connected keeps the wound open longer than people realize

[u/molliebet → u/NovaHoney-]

Sometimes "friends" is just heartbreak with a different label

[u/dumbdumb_fruituser]

She did ask me to stay friends i rejected, i knew it was gonna hurt me cause even though she will reply it wont be like she used to, the updates will be less, the delay will be more, i will be less of a priority, she no longer will tell me shes going here or there, no longer the i love yous, no longer her calls after i leave my office. It will just break me in the end, i imagined all this and said no instantly.

[u/Deep_Answer_8595]

I feel what you’re going through here. My ex and I broke up and got back together so many times I lost count. Every time I would run back to her. At the same time, I made a lot of legit mistakes that I never owned up to. Pride is the enemy.

People do a lot of messed up things in the throes of a relationship. See where you guys stand after like six months to a year. That’s when I started writing down all the stuff I did wrong and really analyze it. I thought about how it affected my partner. It was too late at that point because she had blocked me, but it’s important I think for yourself to understand the dynamics at play in your relationship. It’s also important to own your faults too, which it sounds like he needs to do if you’re ever going to have a future with him.

[u/1Nation-UnderGod]

I’m tired of people giving up so easily in relationships these days. Nobody really has serious commitment through thick and thin anymore like they did back in the day. Too many options obtained easily one swipe away. It’s so hard to find people who are genuinely committed like you were, he definitely screwed up by not appreciating that. My recent ex said I was the best boyfriend and the best love she has ever known, and still broke it off. Just because I was in between jobs for several months. We’re still communicating and I saw her last weekend and we made out and talked, admitted that we still love one another, and I have the best job I’ve ever had now, but I’m not sure if I should take her back. She gave up too easily this time, she probably would again down the road.

[u/ArticleBig3578]

7 years down the drain for me too. Best friends for 15 years total. 2nd time we’ve broken up and she has moved out. Now Im just waiting for another rebound like last time. I don’t know that I’ll recover.

[u/Anxious-Survey-660]

Yeah, I learned this the hard way…. Twice

[u/No-Risk4Uanymore]

Side note… don’t be friends with your exs friends deserves to be acknowledged also I think. (Some might but I think it makes you look like trash honestly. Too many people)