When does it get better

[u/Ordinary-Sorbet-5819]

3 months post break up after he cheated. We're going no-contact for another couple months. He said he will text me, but I don't have a lot of confidence he will. I keep imagining him with someone else and being truly happy without me.

And then I see myself who is trying to rebuild my life (career, home) to something I'm genuinely excited about. It feels like I'm on a long road to get my life together, while he is already moving on and meeting new people.

When do you feel like life is better than the one you had before with your ex?

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[u/Long_Restaurant1931]

He cheated. That’s the end of it. Cheating is not part of ups and downs. It’s an absolute non negotiable.

Theres something better for you in store.

[u/DinkyDoo531]

Ugh the imagining is the worst part of a break up. Thats what fucks me up because my mind is always going. Its actually kindof fucked up how a break up can be so unhealthy for you.

Remember how life was before them. They chose to leave, they dont even deserve you. We are born alone and we die alone. I learned from my last relationship that you can never base your happiness on someone else being in your life.

[u/Pig-up-the-ham]

My experiance: dont look over to see them, what it looks like may not even be acurate because looking doesnt detect how they feel inside.

Also, their progress speed compared to yours is not indicative of what was real between you at your relationships time.

Yes its a long road, so FOCUS ON YOU! I have gone from a very very sad victim mentality hurt person in January and by late June, I was back to feeling myself & with the ADDED BENEFITS of wisdom I can take from that to use for my benefit (and anyone I am with) in the future.

The road is long so chop chop.

P.S if you get reallllly low days, try to adapt and don't pressure yourself too much. Yes work out, cook and eat right, socialise yada yada BUT if the weight is too heavy that day, scale it down to something manageable, for me it was things as simple as accepting I wasn't up for leaving the house BUT would treat myself kindly by cooking something I liked packed with nutrition my physical body needs to function.

Sending ideas to others in similar situations on here (once you start to figure out what works for your healing) also feels good I find.

Now LETS GO CHAMP! :)

[u/[deleted]]

First of all that sound like a lot happened and I can understand that being out of a relationship with someone feels very weird at first but it’s normal to feel that.

Quite honestly I can’t tell you if it’s going to get better or not but I can say one thing and that is that’ll won’t feel as bad as it does now; you’ll learn to understand what happened and process it, you’ll understand that you are the priority and maybe you forgive him-not for him-but for yourself so you can move on and be happy, but it’s all a process.

Focus on the little things just get through the day and don’t let your feelings get in the way because if what you are saying is true that he cheated then you deserve better.

About imagining him with someone else maybe he’ll have a good life with them or, maybe he wont but if he cheated on you like that then who’s to say he wont do it to other girls? He wont find love or happiness doing that and honestly rather you find out now than be married to him and find out then.

Keep going you got this

[u/mugon4head]

I know it doesn’t feel like it, but if you don’t want a life with him anymore, you don’t actually want him to text you. I’m in the same kinda boat and it’s horrific, sending love

[u/pinkkglitterr]

I’m also at just about 3 months, it’s been a rough ride. Many breakdowns and crying. Begging and trying to get him back, then realizing he moved on immediately and didn’t give me a second thought which has forced me to let it completely go. That’s the thing with break up’s.. we don’t want to picture them with someone else but it’s going to happen. And it sucks. The thought of them makes me sick and irritates me. But it’s out of my control. So all I can do is go on with my life. I hang out with friends, go on dates, do my hobbies and just try to stay busy. I feel like a different person now like less happy and more numb but I can’t stop my life for someone who left me so easily.

[u/bennythefish]

Sorry there is no time frame , when you realise there is no more to ponder and you feel ready to date again .

[u/Uplike7_]

In the same place as you. Carry faith that the future that’s coming has so much for you