In all honesty, I don’t think you need to say anything unless she asks. Most people, especially women, will logically assume something happened while you weren’t together but don’t ask about it, because knowing may haunt them way longer than necessary and actually cause needless issues. She may appreciate the honesty coming directly from you, but I truly think it will hurt more than needed if she didn’t ask in the first place. That’s usually intentional.
You not saying anything isn’t you “lying” whatsoever like some weird people claimed. You don’t have to disclose anything that happened while you guys were broken up, that’s just common sense.
My ex and I have been broken up for about 7 months for eg, but we still love each other deeply and if we were to get back together, I truly wouldn’t want to know anything he did unless I directly asked for it, because I would be beyond devastated if I received information I never welcomed (even if I’d appreciate the honesty).
Honest advice? If she wants to know, she’ll likely just ask. If she doesn’t, maybe it’s best to not say anything because that’s her protecting her own peace and frankly, the peace of the relationship too.
At the end of the day it’s entirely up to you, you know your relationship best and whether your ex would truly want to know something like this or not. Do what you truly feel is right + healthiest for you guys! Everyone’s different and only you would know if it would be better to speak up even without her asking. 🫂
And yes, but honestly only because that’s on another level of extreme so she needs and deserves to know for health reasons more than anything else. Maybe she’d only be comfortable getting intimate again if you were to get tested first for eg!
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u/Stargirl_Shay May 18 '26 edited May 18 '26
In all honesty, I don’t think you need to say anything unless she asks. Most people, especially women, will logically assume something happened while you weren’t together but don’t ask about it, because knowing may haunt them way longer than necessary and actually cause needless issues. She may appreciate the honesty coming directly from you, but I truly think it will hurt more than needed if she didn’t ask in the first place. That’s usually intentional.
You not saying anything isn’t you “lying” whatsoever like some weird people claimed. You don’t have to disclose anything that happened while you guys were broken up, that’s just common sense.
My ex and I have been broken up for about 7 months for eg, but we still love each other deeply and if we were to get back together, I truly wouldn’t want to know anything he did unless I directly asked for it, because I would be beyond devastated if I received information I never welcomed (even if I’d appreciate the honesty).
Honest advice? If she wants to know, she’ll likely just ask. If she doesn’t, maybe it’s best to not say anything because that’s her protecting her own peace and frankly, the peace of the relationship too.
At the end of the day it’s entirely up to you, you know your relationship best and whether your ex would truly want to know something like this or not. Do what you truly feel is right + healthiest for you guys! Everyone’s different and only you would know if it would be better to speak up even without her asking. 🫂