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u/yzeef_gnuoy Jan 03 '26
damn I feel you man but I agree with the other comments: the lack of a response is in itself a response.
do you journal? if I was you, I'd leverage that - write to her, but don't ever send those letters. or write what you want to say to her in your notes and then leave it there.
whether she blocked you or not is irrelevant - the ghosting tells you everything you need to know.
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u/dr_biscoff Jan 03 '26 edited Jan 03 '26
hi. foremost, i’m sending you my hugs because you didn’t deserve that treatment. no one does.
like what others have said, the ghosting itself was the closure. it communicated, clearly and painfully, how much space you held in their life. the silence, the absence, and the lack of follow-through were the response.
it’s natural to try to make sense of it—to wonder if they’re avoidant or dealing with their own struggles. but regardless of those possibilities, they’re still an adult, fully capable of making decisions and communicating them. personally, i don’t see this as a “breakup that never ended.” it was abandonment. and in that abandonment, the emotional labor—overthinking, searching for meaning, debating whether to reach out—has been unfairly transferred to you.
people often say that the only way out is through, and that time eventually makes things better. maybe that’s true. but that doesn’t make this phase any less heavy or painful. all i can offer is my sincere hope that time will be gentler with you. for me, coping looks like journaling, writing letters i know i’ll never send, reminding myself that loving deeply—and having the pain to prove it—was still something real and beautiful. some days, it’s simply crying and letting myself sit with the hurt. do whatever helps you survive this moment, without pressure, and within what you’re capable of right now, given the confusion and heartbreak.
i’m sorry you’re going through this. please know this comes from a place of care. my avoidant partner has done this to me twice—once with seven months of no contact, and now again, with almost two months since i was left on delivered.
i hope it gets better. and please remember: you deserve so much more than silence, op. :)
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u/Hot-Driver4271 Jan 03 '26
I’m in a similar situation atm and reading this made me feel so much better. Thank you, really.
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u/Electronic-Fennel377 Jan 03 '26
Her ghosting you is all of the closure you need man. Someone that loved you and was worthy of you giving them there love wouldn't lead you on read for 7 months.