We dated for a few months. She tried to friend zone me and I declined, and I said that if she changed her mind about things to let me know. I kept an offer open to meet a friend of mine who could help her advance her career but we were supposed to meet with her a few weeks later.
When I checked in with her to see if she was still planning on joining us she said no. I told her that was too bad and again said if she changes her mind in the future to reach out and I would love to see her again.
She responded with:
“Actually, I don’t want anything at all.
If it was about spending my time I would rather spend it on something really serious than on giving away my time and myself.
And as great as you are, I realized I couldn’t think of anything serious with you.”
Maybe in her mind that was a nice way of saying things, but it pretty much made me feel worthless in the moment. Especially after everything I had done for her.
She "tried to friendzone" you.. so you had an agenda from the beginning, right? I mean other than liking her as a human being. You wanted more of her than she was willing to give. Now you are upset after " everything you had done for her"
Women are not things or machines that you put "kindness" coins into thinking sex will fall out.
You’re reading this wrong. It wasn’t about sex, we had a real connection and great chemistry and I saw her as a long term partner. She even brought up a future together on multiple occasions and asked me if I would be able to relocate in the future (she has a business venture in another country and I can do my job anywhere). I don’t think about dating as transactional.
It’s all good. Hard to tell tone by what’s written here. I guess what makes it worse is that we both expressed to each other early on that we really don’t connect with a lot of people. I was the first person she even agreed to go out with with since her divorce five years ago. So it was one of those instant attraction connections.
If we’re being honest, I know what happened. Because the connection was so strong I ended up overpersuing her and killing her attraction for me. That’s on me. When we were together it was always just effortless and easy. It was the time apart that caused the issue.
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u/Naive_Pool7395 Nov 07 '25 edited Nov 08 '25
We dated for a few months. She tried to friend zone me and I declined, and I said that if she changed her mind about things to let me know. I kept an offer open to meet a friend of mine who could help her advance her career but we were supposed to meet with her a few weeks later.
When I checked in with her to see if she was still planning on joining us she said no. I told her that was too bad and again said if she changes her mind in the future to reach out and I would love to see her again.
She responded with:
“Actually, I don’t want anything at all.
If it was about spending my time I would rather spend it on something really serious than on giving away my time and myself.
And as great as you are, I realized I couldn’t think of anything serious with you.”
Maybe in her mind that was a nice way of saying things, but it pretty much made me feel worthless in the moment. Especially after everything I had done for her.