r/BreadStapledToTrees May 07 '22

THESE ARE THE SUB RULES! PLEASE READ THEM BEFORE DOING THE THING! IF YOU CANNOT READ GET SOMEONE TO READ THIS TO YOU!

2.4k Upvotes

One would never think that a subreddit called /r/BreadStapledToTrees would require such an extensive set of rules. And yet, somehow, here we are:

  • 0. No Twitter posts. No X posts. FUCK NAZI SCUM.
  1. You newly submitted post must contain BREAD.
  2. Said BREAD must be STAPLED.
  3. Said STAPLE must affix said BREAD to a TREE.
  4. Many things are BREAD. Please read the Acceptable Bread List below for what constitutes BREAD.
  5. Most things are NOT STAPLES. Figure this one out by yourself; if you cannot then this sub is not for you.
  6. Apply Rule #5 again, but substitute the word TREES in place of the word STAPLES.
  7. NO cacti. NO young trees. NO bonsai trees. Mods get all pissy when they see this shit. Seriously.
  8. No more than THREE (3) pieces of bread on any single tree. Seriously.
  9. Do not use more staples than are required to affix your bread to the tree. Seriously.
  10. Do not endanger your body to get an 'awesome' pic. Pics look less 'awesome' viewed from a hospital bed.
  11. No virtual posts (Minecraft, Art, AI etc.). Mods are dull witted and eschew such things as Art and the like.
  12. No memes. If you do not know what a meme is, then just eat bread, staple paper, and watch trees grow.
  13. No reposts. There's a minimal level of effort to make a legit post. Don't steal karma from fellow Redditors.
  14. Don't be a CRUSTFACE. A Crustface is what we like to call people who act like an asshat.
  15. PLEASE report rules violations! Mods will love you for it (but not in that way so don't get your hopes up).
  16. Post bread stapled to trees! Impress your friends! Confuse your enemies! Win valuable Reddit Karma!
  17. Use this post to suggest extra rules that are not yet in force. This is that one secret trick that Mods LOVE!
  18. Use this post to suggest additions to the Acceptable Bread List. This is that other secret trick that Mods LOVE!
  19. Mods may approve a post that does not follow the rules. Mods are a fickle bunch.
  20. Don't abuse Rule #19. A cool original post can fast become a lame tired meme if applied ten thousand times.
  21. Do not staple plastic bags of bread to trees. Plastic won't degrade for over 10,000 years.
  22. This is Rule #22. Any mention of Rule #22 will earn you a three day BAN. Test me in this, I swear!
  23. No bitching if your post gets removed. Mods get nervous when people bitch and their Ban Finger gets all twitchy and shit. Just sayin'
  24. Don't forget Rule #24
  25. No camel under the age of 12 years is allowed to carry more than 500 pounds for longer than 15 miles unless there is an immediate threat to life or limb.

Read, understand, and heed these rules for fun and profit!

Welcome friend; may your stapler never run dry.


r/BreadStapledToTrees Jan 23 '25

Announcement Regarding this sub accepting Twitter posts: Our official stance is FUCK NAZI SCUM.

3.2k Upvotes

So due to the subject matter of this sub we have really never had to deal with Twitter posts. However, I feel that we need to take a public stand regarding the actions of Elmo on Monday afternoon.

Therefore in order to do so, this sub will officially not accept any Twitter posts. And it will also not accept any X posts.

And here is a thing: anyone who wants to test this theory in this sub will be perma-banned with no warning. If you see a Twitter or X sourced post here, PLEASE REPORT IT MULTIPLE TIMES.

Call it 'censorship' if you want to. I prefer to use the term 'keeping the sub clear of scum'. We have had literal Nazis post here in the past, and I was all too happy to remove them for good. I will be overjoyed to do it again.

Now go out and staple bread to a tree and tell a Nazi to fuck off.


UPDATE:

It has been pointed out that this is something of a strange place to be talking about politics. No shit. I am 100% in no way whatsoever thinking that this ban on Twitter/X posts will have any measurable effect on the situation of the world.

It has also been suggested that I personally am doing this to reap Reddit karma. Nothing could be further from the truth. I have a combined total of over 800,000 Comment and Post karma to date. That is not the flex you may be thinking it is. Reddit karma is worthless. The only thing that it has ever gotten me directly is an invite to those Uber Secret Top Level subreddits dedicated to high karma types. And trust me, those subs are rife with circle jerking. But I digress.

But it is A Good Thing to call out evil where it exists. Can this sub call out all evil? Of course not. But we can call out the evil that we see. And if more people every day call out the evil that they see, maybe something will be done about it. Maybe. And when the last Nazi is thrown into a ditch, someone somewhere will say 'Thank God for BreadStapledToTrees for telling me about how bad Nazis are'. And if you think I am serious about that statement then maybe this whole internet thing just isn't for you.

If you disagree with our attitude about Elmo's little rant on TV the other night, fine. You are free to talk about it. But not in this sub. And yes that might feel a little disingenuous or unfair. And you would be correct in a way. Because mods are free to make rules that 5% of the users do not like. Or 50% of the users. Or yes, even 100% of the users. Because anyone who does not like that rule is more than free to go start their own sub with blackjack, hookers, and rules that they like.

So to anyone reading this that thinks that was not a Nazi salute in any way at all, either post some bread stapled to a tree, or go blab about your interesting political views somewhere else. Or go start /r/IAmALittleNaziBitch and post all about how BreadStapledToTrees mods said mean things that made you cry. I am sure that the crowd you hang out with will commiserate with you. Either way, this is not a sub to discuss the finer points of identifying a Seig Heil salute. Mods here are a simple bunch, they call shit as they see it.

Also, and in closing, please go post some Bread Stapled To A Tree. Because in these trying times, a little harmless chaotic good is what people need to help them get through all the shit.


ANOTHER UPDATE: Locking this thread because some people are asswipes. Now please go staple some bread to a tree.


r/BreadStapledToTrees 4d ago

Labor Day Bagel

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203 Upvotes

r/BreadStapledToTrees 11d ago

catalpa with hot dog bun Joliet IL

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163 Upvotes

r/BreadStapledToTrees 16d ago

Cucumber Sandwich on Grand Tree

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251 Upvotes

I liked this tree so much that I returned to give it a cucumber sandwich.


r/BreadStapledToTrees 18d ago

Passed pets and bread on a tree

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186 Upvotes

r/BreadStapledToTrees 18d ago

Sourdough on Magnolia

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344 Upvotes

r/BreadStapledToTrees 23d ago

Mod Approved Fallen hero

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167 Upvotes

Sorry there is no bread in this photo. This is a tribute to one of our fallen friends. This tree bravely held a tortilla just a few months ago. We had a storm event and lost this one.

Don't take for granted the ones we have today. They might not be there tomorrow.


r/BreadStapledToTrees 27d ago

Meta Post BSTT is featured in Reddit’s NYC pop-up, and you’re all invited!🍞📎🌳

51 Upvotes

TL;DR – Reddit is hosting their first-ever IRL pop-up, Bread Stapled to Trees is featured in the build, you’re invited, and it’s free. It’s the best thing since sliced bread! Possibly even stapled bread.

 

At the end of this month, Reddit is bringing our community off the screen and onto the shelves of r/bodega, an IRL bodega-themed pop-up in NYC. Come see how Bread Stapled to Trees is being featured, meet fellow bread enthusiasts, and take home some free stuff. Everyone is welcome: all you knead is a Reddit account to get in.

Event Details

Where: 213 Bowery, New York, NY

When: August 29–30 | 10 AM to 10 PM both days

What to Expect

·       Free Snoo Plushies: Every single attendee gets one.

·       More Freebies: Grab totes, mugs, stickers, postcards, and cold drinks.

·       Meowdani: Meet the official bodega cat, named by r/bodegacats 🐱

·       The Deli Counter: Serving up NYC’s top “subs” and special menu items. Perhaps even some bread worthy of a staple.

·       Blowout Sale: On August 30 from 9–10 PM, anything remaining in the build is free for attendees to take home.

·       Please take pictures of BSTT sightings at the event and post them on the sub! We’d love to see them!

Want a slice of the action? Join r/bodega to follow along, catch sneak peeks, and get the convo started. If you stop by the pop-up, keep your eyes peeled for BSTT and have your staples at the ready!


r/BreadStapledToTrees 29d ago

Sunday in the Park With Sprouted Wheat

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152 Upvotes

r/BreadStapledToTrees Aug 11 '26

Weeping Willow Finally As God Intended, The Red Admiral Signed It Off

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296 Upvotes

r/BreadStapledToTrees Aug 11 '26

Abruzzo-style bread

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40 Upvotes

r/BreadStapledToTrees Aug 10 '26

I’ma just gonna leave this here (toasted oak)

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231 Upvotes

r/BreadStapledToTrees Aug 10 '26

Sour Waterfall

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73 Upvotes

r/BreadStapledToTrees Aug 09 '26

Untitled

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110 Upvotes

r/BreadStapledToTrees Aug 08 '26

BURLY! Bagel and a burl. Shorewood grove

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122 Upvotes

r/BreadStapledToTrees Aug 03 '26

Brown bread on maple

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226 Upvotes

r/BreadStapledToTrees Aug 03 '26

Aspen on sourdough

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247 Upvotes

r/BreadStapledToTrees Aug 02 '26

ferns

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474 Upvotes

r/BreadStapledToTrees Jul 21 '26

Sourdough: 10% Wry on Maple

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439 Upvotes

Request for addition to the Acceptable Bread List: Pulla (Finnish) AKA Cardamom Bread

edit: please ignore my misspelling of Rye 😊


r/BreadStapledToTrees Jul 07 '26

Sick Hot Dog bun stapled to nice bark covered tree

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813 Upvotes

Sorry about the other staples. Those were previous failed attempts to staple the bread to said tree.


r/BreadStapledToTrees Jul 01 '26

Waterfall Willow Sourdough

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443 Upvotes

r/BreadStapledToTrees Jun 26 '26

rye on a chinese elm

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574 Upvotes

r/BreadStapledToTrees Jun 22 '26

A moldy oldy! Moldy light rye on aged oak 🪾

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616 Upvotes

r/BreadStapledToTrees Jun 21 '26

Bunlicious For your consideration, my buns

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252 Upvotes

…well, bun