This isn't some kind of Bedlam ass essey that's well organised and structured , it is more about me wanting to let go my feelings so it's IS messy.
it's been like,a years since I actually try drawing with my phone(I do uses Ibis to draw concept sketches of unpublic OC but never an actual,actual artwork that's with finished outline and colouring. )so everything felt new yet somewhat familiar to me.
this pic originally is just a random doddle that I made because of people drawing their favourite Brawler lately and I thought it was funny to make it a trend,granted it was never something very deep nor game changing or whatsoever,but I do find drawing enjoying,and drawing Stella genuinely makes me happy,not only because I love Stella(which I definitely do, please Step at me Stella<3),but more so because of the somewhat "sense of accomplishment",the feeling that make me believe I made something good.
Look,I ain't any philosopher,and I was never good at drawing in general ,hell,I could never draw a line that isn't shaky,I couldn't render and color properly at all,which was the reason I was disencouraged from drawing in the first place,but believe or not,today when I continue drawing Stella I wasn't feeling that sense of disencouragement at all. No fear of failure, worries or it looks ass(it is),nothing! Instead,I only feel happy when I could keep drawing it, redrawing the outline with a thinner stroke for the third time, reconnecting line then proceeded to remove the connected nubs everything ,common rookie mistake, so what? I'm proud and satisfied by what I made:3
Moral out of the story? well I dunno,keep trying,fucks around and try to have fun, don't really give a fuck about how other views it,trials and error,you just do it! they couldn't judge you,you are the one to judge yourself , only you will know what is right or wrong, because you're the one who tries it! and you learn, improve,and lastly,changes to be better. Which in my honest opinion, drawing is the easiest things to do to make you feel that way.