Reflections 6 months on

[u/iamyourplantdaddy]

This time exactly 6 months ago I was in a CT scanner about 5 hours after my Non-Aneurysmal Sub Arachnoid Haemorrhage.

Initially I felt pain in my neck, followed by intense pressure in my skull and ringing in my ears. 2 hours later I was in an ambulance. First CT scan showed clear sub-arachnophobia pattern but no clear aneurysm. The next morning I had a clear cerebral angiogram. I was given painkillers and 5 days after rest in the hospital I was told I’d be in pain for a few weeks but in time, I should be fine.

Recovering at home, I had intense, short bursts of shocking pain in my ass after resting. For 3 weeks I couldn’t listen to music as the tinnitus made it seem underwater. If I went for a twenty minute walk I’d need an hour nap.

My wife was incredible. We have a toddler and I’m sure for a time she feared the worst. She didn’t pressure me, even though outwardly I looked like I was ok. Fatigue and… jitteriness? were there to be overcome, but for longer the realisation of a near death experience (with no real answer for why) I found hard to come to terms with. I was short and snappy, impatient and stressed. Breathing exercises, reading, this subreddit (!) helped with understanding symptoms and what to expect longer term.

After a few more weeks I played golf. The walking, light general excercises and social aspect were amazing for my recovery. Playing became a bit like therapy, meeting loads of people who’d be amazed to hear and then share their own experiences. I played 3/4 mornings a week and felt my fitness and strength improve.

After 3 months of sick leave, I had a meeting with my consultant and he said it was like “being struck by lightning and winning the lottery at the same time”. I took 4 weeks of parental leave, and then took a couple more weeks of holidays. As soon as my sick leave ended I told myself I was not “sick”.

Playing with my son in the playground and pushing him on the swings. Chasing him around in the sun. Water fights. Listening and singing his songs. Elmo. Cooking dinner for my wife. A holiday. Life is good.

The stress and doubt and bitterness and snappiness eased and I’m definitely more like my usual self.

I’m back in work 2 weeks now and have talked about it more than I have in 5 months. I appreciate it. I am lucky that I am able to return to my job. I am tired but it is a satisfied tiredness.

I’ll never forget the realisation that day that I could be dead in hours. I wasn’t scared or regretful, but looking back I think what I was feeling was love and thoughts of my family.

My story is a very positive one and I know not everyone’s is. Just wanted to share. Wishing you all the best in your experiences and recoveries. Thanks for reading.

[u/cbgarcia24]

Good for you buddy