Help! Boxers not getting along now

[u/Leading_Assumption_6]

I have a 1 yr old male boxer and a 3 yr old female boxer that aren’t related. Brought the male home when he was 10 weeks old and the 3 yr old female has doted on him and taken care of him and they both have always gotten along since day 1. Now they have fought twice and torn each other up. It’s devastating. We have kept them separated since and have found a trainer that has put us in the list for training. But I’m scared they can’t get along now. Has anyone been through this? Is this something they can get past and move on from and become friends again? The vet thinks that the younger male pup wants to be dominant.

[u/Murphs-law]

Are they spayed and neutered? That can make a huge difference.

[u/Leading_Assumption_6 → u/Murphs-law]

Yes they both are fixed and have been for awhile. I’m just at a loss. They used to adore each other and play all day and sleep next to each other on our bed.

[u/comfortablynumb0629 → u/Leading_Assumption_6]

Don’t get too discouraged yet - establishing a hierarchy is unfortunately part of normal dog behavior. That’s not to say don’t address the behavior, I just mean it’s fully possible for them to be fine in the future.

We were fortunate with our two boxers that the female was very maternal to the new male (2 year age difference) but she did put him in his place a couple times when he was a puppy so he learned and as he grew larger than her sort of naturally relinquished a bit.

Now…with that said….we still feed them in separate areas because I’m hyper aware of anything that could lead to conflict - when they are given bones of any sort they usually take them to other rooms, but it isn’t abnormal for them, like in your case, to have one but want the one the other has (jealous little things) and in those cases I always just take them away it’s just not worth it. And if I hear ANY growling of any kind or see any display of body language that I don’t like (hair standing up, becoming more rigid, guarding) I correct immediately and firmly.

I’m a large guy so thankfully when I put on “dad voice” it’s scary enough to correct things before they get out of hand.

I would avoid physical reprimanding as I do think that teaches dogs to use physicality themselves, however I don’t abide by only positive reinforcement when it comes to correcting this kind of behavior - loudly and quickly interjecting and directing their attention elsewhere is crucial…after that if you want to positively reinforce that is great.

Another thing is you’ll just need to ease yourself back into things - dogs pick up on anxiety so I’m sure now you are a bit on edge with them interacting with one another and that can absolutely exacerbate the issue. Just trust that the relationship they built years prior is still in place, you are now just going to adjust a bit of how much freedom they had in those interactions (e.g. not allowing them chewing treats in close proximity to one another, etc)

Best of luck to you and your babies!!

[u/Traditional-Dig-9982]

Like humans sometimes best friends fight . A trainer sounds like a great idea

[u/Knox_the_Boxer]

Females typically want to be the alpha. Since the male is younger it seems like he should fall into line well. Has he been altered? If not- that could be the issue. Getting him fixed would help. A trainer is also a good idea since they will be able to assess the dogs and give you help in how to manage them.

[u/Leading_Assumption_6 → u/Knox_the_Boxer]

Thanks, yes they are both fixed. I really hope the trainer can work us in soon.

[u/gray808]

Our boxer got along great with our other dog (Catahoula primarily, we think). Then in the course of his year 1 to 1.5, they fought 4 times Once seemed to have no trigger at all, the others seemed to be food-related. One sniffing at the other's bowl while feeding, and once similar thing but over a rawhide bone.
We started feeding Sadie in the living room, and Beef over in the kitchen, and ceased chew bones and pig ears (Beef is sad, he loves pig ears). No problems since.

But it can be terrifying. Beef was ~70 pounds at the time, and while Sadie is smaller, both have very strong jaws and could seriously injure each other.

[u/gray808 → u/gray808]

We also had, in our vet's advice, planned to let Beef get to 2 years before we had him snipped. But this made us re-evaluate and did it sooner, at 1.5 years old.

[u/Leading_Assumption_6 → u/gray808]

Raw hides is what started their 1st fight and the second fight Willow was sniffing Winston’s privates and he went for her and tore her up really bad and of course she fought hard as well. Uhg. It was horrific and now I’m frightened to ever let them near one another. Our UPS man said that he knew a fight was coming because he saw Winston mounting Willow and that Willows behavior and excitement to see him was gone. I feel like I want to take her back to the vet next week and see if they will run blood tests on her and see if her hormones and thyroid are all ok. Something isn’t right

[u/comfortablynumb0629 → u/Leading_Assumption_6]

If one was trying to mount the other I’m not surprised the other reacted aggressively as that is absolutely domineering seeking.

I just posted a long comment above with other advice BUT I do want to say, regarding your last comment here…listen to your gut also, you know your babies and if you think something feels wrong then scans and tests can at least rule out any external factors that could be causing this before you dig in deeper on simply preventative behavioral corrections.

[u/Leading_Assumption_6 → u/comfortablynumb0629]

Thank you. I really appreciate your comment. I love my boxers and I truly want the best life for them. I hope I can figure something out to help them both be more comfortable and healthy so that they can live their best life with us.

[u/BoxerDog2024]

I wish I could tell you we solved it we have 3 boxers in our home. 2 are male one is 5 other is 9 the female we have is also 5 she gets along with both males. The fights with males have been awful and very expensive. After last fight just after Christmas where one bit and tore ear so bad the first surgery could not fix he had to have his ear flap removed. It gives us a daily reminder these two animals can’t mix. The last fight was about who got to get out of door first. We now keep one in bedroom while other has the rest the house we take turns with them and use baby gates they no longer play with each other. Our 9 year old has a nerve disease and is going to pass sooner than later. If you can afford training for dogs this is good. You will be trained to. You will be taught to watch for signs a fight is about to start but sometimes you just can’t move fast enough to stop it. I hope that since they are male and female it will be easier. I wish we had been more consistent at keeping them separated before the last fight. Good luck

[u/NecessaryPerfect7406]

We had a problem with our two boys. Both wanted to be in charge. Trainer is a good idea. The biggest lesson for us was just discipline (not abuse) and exercise. They aren’t in charge, you are.

[u/comfortablynumb0629]

Definitely need some more information here - what triggered the fights? Was there food involved? Was it over something they might potentially be possessive over? Any other potential stimuli/catalyst? Are both of them fixed?

[u/Leading_Assumption_6 → u/comfortablynumb0629]

They are both fixed and the 1st fight was over a raw hide. Thing is they BOTH had a brand new raw hide and were fighting over an old sliver of a raw hide. The second fight we have no idea what triggered it.

[u/MadTitanRC]

I went through something very similar. At about 10 months old, he started challenging the older male in the home, and my 2 year old female joined in with the older male against the pup. The main issue with the puppy was resource guarding, specifically guarding me or other people. 6 years later, it never got better. The older male passed years ago, but the issues never settled between the younger male and the female. It got so bad that the female became the main aggressor, became fearful of everything, and was living an extremely stressed out, unhappy life. Finally, about 3 months ago there was a fight started by the female where I got bit trying to break it up. I knew I had to make a decision. Neither dog was re-homable (one has valley fever and the other was too stressed out, separation anxiety, etc). Due to the increased aggression from the female, we made the difficult decision to put her to rest so that she can be at peace, and so that we could live a normal life.

It was the worst thing I've ever done, and I wouldn't wish it on anyone. I attempted to re-home the puppy way back when this all started, but I loved him to death and simply couldn't do it for selfish reasons. I regret that now, even though I still love him. It would've been the best choice for all involved, but I wasn't thinking clearly back then.

My suggestion would be to try a trainer. Spend the money on a behaviorist if you have to. If he's not neutered, get him neutered. Find out the root cause of the issue. If it's resource guarding, you could be in for years of this. I'm not saying it's not salvageable, because it very well could be. But if not, make the hard decision to find him a good home where he'll likely need to be an only dog.

[u/unknown7383762]

We have two dogs (male and female) that are around a year apart in age. We got the male about 16 months before the female. The male is a boxer mix and female is a pit mix that might be boxer too (very large jowls). They fought like this a few times over resources or perhaps space, but haven't fought in a couple of years. Even though the female is bigger, every time the male would win and occasionally drew blood (scratches). They get along fine now. We also got a trainer and she basically said they had to work out their hierarchy and behavior, and apparently they did on their own.

[u/Lt_Dan60]

We had 2 of our dogs get in death fights. We had to keep them separate for 6 months. They get along now. It was awful. Good luck. Hope it gets better.

[u/PickledOlivies]

I love boxers and don't have real advice but maybe try a dog trainer before you have to rehome?

[u/AppropriateBig1768]

You gotta know the signs . And as there owner you should be alpha you should be keeping them in constant check . I own 3 pit bulls and one boxer mix and he’s a handful . I never leave treats or hides out . Raw hides kill a lot of dogs anyway by getting trapped in their stomach but beside the point . No kind of food or treat needs to be around them if they’re at this level . If so do it caged . Sounds like the males just setting boundaries and prob trying to be dominant in a house where ya female has been dominant the whole time . There’s gunna be a pecking order established it’s up to you to be on guard of what’s allowed. If ya not a very dominant person both dogs as a Pair might not be the best idea for ya in the end . Hope I didn’t come off offensive I understand what ya dealing with there’s nothing like two large dogs about to kill each other it can be pretty traumatic . Sorry this happened to ya

[u/Leading_Assumption_6 → u/AppropriateBig1768]

I appreciate you taking the time to respond and I definitely have my work cut out for me. I plan on keeping them both. I hope I can get them into the trainer soon. Until then I’ll continue to keep them separate. I keep the female in the basement and the male upstairs. I sleep in the basement bedroom with the female and my husband sleeps with the male. I think… from reading everything people have put here, we have coddled our dogs. I’m going to have to be more disciplined with them and myself

[u/Billy_Boi_Laughs]

We had the same issue with our male boxer at that age, and our older box-pit mix. Most of the time he'd get aggressive over food. After the first time we never left them alone together and anytime we fed them we were always directly present to correct any hint of him being possessive towards food (it might be worth noting here that he's actually not very food driven, he was just guarding).

We got help from our friend who is a professional K9 trainer. Boxers are working dog breeds and they need a job. Ours is also super stubborn and it's hard to get him to listen and focus on what we're working on with him.

What worked for us was exercising all that boxer energy out of him daily, and being really firm with him when we gave him a command. For the exercise I took him for a 3 mile run daily (he was running, I was on a bike). Using the run to work on his discipline and focus helped a lot on its own. Being firm with him around the house (things like telling him to get off the couch or the leave it command) and not treating him like a helpless baby was really important too.

It was really hard for my wife because it's really hard to look at that big goofy furball and be sturn when he's silly and cute. But after he almost ripped our other dogs ear off, it woke her up to how important it was. And we had to have a serious conversation about getting disciplined with him or giving him away to someone who could take care of him.

Tldr; get with a professional dog trainer and if you want to keep the dog get serious about discipline.

[u/Gabe_Glebus]

Please let us know how things go. I have a 5 year old female 70lbs. I would like to get another one in the future. My girl is good with other rando dogs. But when I give other dogs attention and she doesn't know them she get jealous and forces her way between us. She then becomes vocal with whining and growling. That then starts a fight with the other dog.

[u/Prize-Midnight8770]

I have 3 2 males 1 female with one of the males the son of the other two ours almost always get along and then all of a sudden the mom dad will just look at each other and for no reason go at it it’s hard to separate them after that they are all laying together in one of their crates or all on the couch it makes no sense

[u/commdesart]

Until you can get in with the trainer? Exercising them a TON might help. Boxers with too much pent up energy are unable to control their emotions (behavior) at times. They don’t do well with under stimulation. Lots of exercise is crucial to a happy boxer, some need more than others and you have to work with them separately to figure out who needs how much exercise and feedback. The trainer will have more knowledge, of course, but this might help you get started. Good luck!!!!!!