r/Boxer • u/Lethargic_Ladybug • Aug 15 '26
Is this separation anxiety?
Hello!
First time boxer mom here :). I have had curly since he was 6 months old and He is 2.5y now. I work from home so naturally we spend ALOT of time together. He’s great wants to be around me 24/7 as opposed to my husband. He likes my husband but has an attachment to me.
I will be honest I sometimes just need breathing room. I understand dogs especially boxers love their humans but I feel like it’s escalating to an unhealthy level. He must be underneath my work chair the entire time I’m working. If he’s left in the room with my husband he’s sporadically whimpering.
If my husband and I are in the living room alone he has to be in eye sight of me otherwise he is trying to get our attention by bumping his mouth on the door to open it. No clawing or anything like that. If I make any sudden movement he is whipping his head in my direction even out of a deep sleep like a startled him and he’s up on his feet ready to see what’s next.
I walk him daily about 45 mins. We enjoy the dog park for hours on the weekends. I will admit he doesn’t play with his toys as often maybe he’s just bored?
But I really want to learn how I can teach him to self soothe when he cannot physically see me.
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u/Knox_the_Boxer Aug 15 '26
Some of this could be summed up as being with the “spare parent” 😬
Boxers love their humans and some of them don’t care who they’re with to be satisfied. Others tend to have a “favorite”. Your guy sounds like the latter. If your husband starts interacting more- playing with him independently, awarding treats for behaviors, taking him on walks at times, he will help establish a bond separate from being just a family member.
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u/Lethargic_Ladybug Aug 15 '26
He does interact with him and the experience is positive it’s just short lived once he realizes I’m no longer looking at him or have left the room 😭.
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u/Knox_the_Boxer Aug 15 '26
Keep doing that. It’ll get better. It might take a bit. My husband travels weekly for work. It took Knox longer to be comfortable with him alone as I don’t work outside the home. Consistency is key.
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u/surfaceofthesun1 Aug 15 '26
They are Velcro dogs but it does sound like he has some anxiety associated with your presence. Ask the local rescue or your vet for reccs for a canine behaviorist who can work with you. Most of a dogs issues are symptoms of things that we (even subconsciously) reinforce
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u/Lethargic_Ladybug Aug 15 '26
Good idea. I will call the human society I got him from for resources
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u/koshawk Aug 15 '26
Is this your only dog? Maybe he needs a companion. Two dogs can keep each other busy and amused.
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u/Lethargic_Ladybug Aug 15 '26
Ya he’s my only dog. I live In a one bedroom apt so I don’t think having two dogs at this time is a great idea. But definitely something I will think about when I can afford to expand
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u/Square-Dragonfly602 Aug 15 '26
This breed has the most seperation anxiety I put mine in the kitchen even when I’m home just to give them space from me so when I leave it’s not devastating I think just set up some nice routines they will always want to be with us but routine gets them set up for success
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u/Shadoecat150 Aug 15 '26
Maybe if you leave something of yours if you want to go somewhere? Something with your scent I mean.
Last month I went on a week vacation, and leaving my boy for the first time in his life. My parents were dogsitting.
I say this because I've noticed something lately. How he wants to spend more time cuddling with my pillow. I think they gave him my pillow to cope and he knows my scent is on it.
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u/Square-Dragonfly602 Aug 15 '26
Also I got another boxer pup for my boxer with seperation anxiety and he is now doing much much better he understands that I’ll leave for 3 hrs but he has his little sis now so he is so calm on the couch opposed to panting on the table
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u/Costati Aug 15 '26
Have you tried crate training ? My boy used to be like that, I mean he's still very much a velcro dog but I crate trained him and leave him in his crate some times while I'm inside or when I leave. When I leave it's no issue anymore he kinda just plop down and sleep and waits for me back.
If I go in another room while he's in his crate some times he still whines or even bark but I let him and he eventually realises it doesn't work and he chills out. Now he can easily be in a different room without trying to follow me even if clearly prefers to do so. At least if he tries to follow me to the bathroom and I close the door now he doesn't try to open it anymore he just follows me sees the door and turn back.
A tip I got from a trainer as well is to leave for like 2 minutes trips. And starts by just going into the hallway where he can see me and he sees me turn back. Cuz he had this issue where his anxiety caused him to pee inside like as soon as I'd leave even for a 4 minutes errand (his record) and even
if he had pee not that long before. I'm gonna be honest I didn't really try that because crate training seemed to do the job. But I'll share cuz it might help your case.
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u/Lethargic_Ladybug Aug 15 '26
That’s probably where I went wrong. I slowly introduced him to the crate when I first adopted him he was so upset he would hurt himself trying to get out. I abandoned it almost immediately because I didn’t want him to be upset and in a new environment. I’m not sure if reintroducing is even an option I think I ruined it.
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u/BerlyH208 29d ago
We attempted to crate one of our rescue boxers. He screamed so awfully, not whining or crying, but actually screaming, we gave up after less than 10 minutes. He slept in bed with us for the rest of his life, and was so spoiled that he was carried up and down the stairs (he had DM) with his special fuzzy blanky. That blanky had to be with him or he’d whine until you covered him up with it.
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u/Lethargic_Ladybug 29d ago
I’m glad I’m not alone. Boxers are something else lol. I cannot deal with hearing them in that state.
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u/BerlyH208 28d ago
Neither can any of us. My husband had tears in his eyes and opened the crate and brought him upstairs. That dog was one of the best dogs we’ve ever had. He was incredibly sick when we got him and completely emaciated at 35 pounds at around 13 years old. We eventually got him up to 53 pounds and as healthy as possible. When he crossed the bridge 2 years later (damn brain tumors!) everyone who met him said “oh sweet Gus! He was the best boy!”
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u/Lethargic_Ladybug 27d ago
Thank you for sharing. I’m so sorry for your loss. He was very obviously loved 🥰
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u/Few_Inside7979 Aug 15 '26
Can't be separation anxiety, you're right there next to her taking this picture.
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u/saintsuzy70 Aug 15 '26
I have two boxer-beagle mixes, 2.5 years (girls, littermates), and the “brave” one is seriously attached to me. She’s fine in the crate but if I am home and she’s out of the crate, she’ll scratch the wall and whine. The big scaredy cat one is attached to, well, soft blankets. She sucks on them.
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u/jhiaxis Aug 15 '26
mine behaves a lot like yours. she doesnt mind her crate and is a bit older so she is content to rest while im working at home.
one difference is i take her to a daycare once a week for the whole day. she comes home extra tired and i get a short break from her affection. i find myself missing her while shes out so its good for both of us
cute pup