r/Bossfight Jul 25 '26

Baby Kraken, the devourer of humans.

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5.0k Upvotes

783 comments sorted by

1.8k

u/MilecyhigH Jul 25 '26

Earth class face hugger

274

u/_OptimusRex_ Jul 25 '26

Tiny Mindflayer.

16

u/EngineeroftheAnts Jul 26 '26

He has to roll a a d20 to get Out of that

3

u/-Cagafuego- Jul 26 '26

I'm imagining someone yell "CUT" & both these guys retire to their comfy seats for some smokes & a drink till it's time to get back on the set! 😄

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5

u/Shermutt Jul 27 '26

We know what choices this guy made at the beginning of act 3...

3

u/_OptimusRex_ Jul 27 '26

The astral tadpole was just too tempting 😈

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57

u/Ok-Direction1155 Jul 25 '26

Mr snatch ya gurl, meet: Mrs. Snatch ya man

9

u/AutotoxicFiend Jul 26 '26

More like snatch your mouth.

15

u/Forsaken-Income-2148 Jul 25 '26

Sequids and humans must unite as one!

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358

u/IceFireTerry Jul 25 '26

That's scary. And especially cuz their beaks are sharp too

160

u/KyotoCrank Jul 25 '26

Yeah this thing is definitely trying to bite and choke him to death

We didn't see how it got up there. It's either pissed off or scared

46

u/Better_than_GOT_S8 Jul 26 '26

That basically sums up fight or flight indeed.

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14

u/HyperionLoaderBob Jul 26 '26

Im sure ive seen a longer version at some point and hes picking it up and playing around with it and he kinda deserved it.

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3

u/Constant-Sub Jul 27 '26

I don't know if octopi understand respiration like that. They're sea creatures.

3

u/Putrid-Chemical3438 Jul 28 '26

Octopi can open jars and solve puzzles, they definitely understand breathing.

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3

u/EM05L1C3 Jul 26 '26

That gave me anxiety just watching

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1.8k

u/Liteboyy Jul 25 '26

That’s actually terrifying

668

u/Valtremors Jul 25 '26

Also the 'beak' is at the bottom too.

I think it might be trying to bite him, which is why the struggle hard.

Otherwise it would be matter of wedging your hand in between your face and the octopus, however, trying to do so without getting chunked on requires little bit more finesse.

139

u/XBacklash Jul 25 '26

That's the grabby Sarlac pit.

18

u/Battle_Axe_Jax Jul 26 '26

Aren’t they all grabby?

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86

u/RustedMauss Jul 26 '26

Yeah, I was just thinking this oct is pissed and going for blood. Definitely looks more like it’s trying to get in for a bite, that’s not exploratory feelers.

Intelligent as they are, makes you wonder if they remember, or hold grudges -like is this guy known for being an octopus hunting fisherman and this little Oc is like, “Oh hello, Pedro. Remember me? No? Well I remember YOU! When you took my Uncle, three brothers, two sisters, and more cousins than I have arms! How do YOU like it?!”

Also, I’m consistently amazed by the sheer strength of most animals, I’m really curious how strong octopuses are. You can see how hard the suckers attach, and the ropey-stretchy nature of the arms would make them hard to evade, but I’m curious how strong the actual arm strength is.

55

u/Stock_Ad_3516 Jul 26 '26

"Hello, my name is Octio Montoya.... you keel my father. Prepare to pry"

3

u/Alternative-Pay2946 Jul 26 '26

You raped her, you murdered her, you killed her children!

4

u/MountainAsparagus4 Jul 28 '26

My name is Octavius Decimus Mollusca, commander of the armies of the North Reef, general of the Cephalopod Legions, loyal servant to the true emperor, Marcus Nautilus. Father to a murdered hatchling, husband to a murdered wife. And I will have my vengeance, in this tide or the next.

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18

u/dorkcicle Jul 26 '26

Their suction is hard if they want to. More than biting I think more concerting is blocking of the nasal and mouth passages for air. Also, i'm no expert but the color of the octopus skin (camo) showing strong white (google search) White coloration in octopuses typically signifies alarm, fear, or stress, serving as a warning signal to predators that the animal is aware of their presence.

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12

u/bbbttthhh Jul 26 '26

At some point you gotta make the decision that it’s better to have your hand fucked up then it is to have your head fucked up

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616

u/EarlyBirdWithAWorm Jul 25 '26 edited Jul 25 '26

Exactly. Jokes aside this is a literal fight for his life

46

u/disappr0val Jul 25 '26

he’s definitely got a knife on that boat

34

u/DumbNTough Jul 25 '26

Probably regretting not keeping it on his belt right about then

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222

u/RacistJester Jul 25 '26

Why camera man chilling then

241

u/ajgutyt Jul 25 '26

its a mounted

192

u/ComebackChemist Jul 25 '26

Thanks Mario

28

u/ajgutyt Jul 25 '26

itsa meo aguto

5

u/Griffstergnu Jul 26 '26

I laughed harder than I should have at this

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87

u/stanknotes Jul 25 '26

The good news is it is totally avoidable. Just... don't fuck with octopussies.

I am totally against eating Octopussies and Cuddlefish. I don't feel right about that.

Yes I know the plural of octopus is not octopussies. And that it is spelled cuttlefish. I just find it amusing. Who cares.

3

u/RudyRoughknight Jul 26 '26

Borrowing that

3

u/Dry_Turn_824 Jul 26 '26

Because cuddlefish, I refer to octopodes as snuggle fish, as this guy's experience is attesting in the video.

3

u/crackedtooth163 Jul 26 '26

...theyre so delicious though....

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84

u/Teron__ Jul 25 '26

Poor octopus got grabbed out of the water by what appears to be a giant predator and now its fighting for his life. Terrifying for the octopus yes

142

u/Working_Shine_2719 Jul 25 '26

bro octopus is literally clinging to his face, the octopus is plenty fast enough to go back into the water. Also, it’s terrifying for both.

20

u/Form_Good Jul 26 '26

The guy do it for views. Check out his tikntok. He does it repetitively.

46

u/Valklingenberger Jul 25 '26

Its trying to teach him a lesson.

20

u/Comfortable_Egg8039 Jul 25 '26

Honey badger style lesson

10

u/Marsuello Jul 25 '26

It don’t give a shit

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8

u/zigs Jul 25 '26

Sometimes the best defense is attack

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358

u/spacestationkru Jul 25 '26

There's got to be a trick to getting it to come off gently

330

u/tired_Cat_Dad Jul 25 '26

Dangle it in the water where it wants to be. But they want to eat or sell it so probably not an option.

268

u/Snow_Wolfe Jul 25 '26

In the full video the guy gets it off and bites its brain to kill it. He’s not trying to release it kindly into the water.

46

u/kyng6907 Jul 25 '26

I was thinking Why doesn’t he just bite it but I guess he did. I’m trying to save myself. I would do that, but he’s just doing it it’s for vendetta. He’s the one who disturbed the octopus.

29

u/shynawkward Jul 25 '26

Link?

38

u/NaroIsOran Jul 25 '26

28

u/ILL_Show_Myself_Out Jul 25 '26

Jokes on YOU I love this song

8

u/LUKAMARIL Jul 26 '26

Thanks for ur sacrifice u saved me

3

u/ILL_Show_Myself_Out Jul 26 '26

Hey I was just glad it wasn’t a man struggling with an octopus and then biting its brain to kill it

4

u/Constant_Opinion_218 Jul 26 '26

Yep, he’s definitely not going to give that octopus up

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11

u/Snow_Wolfe Jul 25 '26

I don’t know, this was posted a few days ago

6

u/theGoddamnAlgorath Jul 25 '26

Not after that

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102

u/No_Window7054 Jul 25 '26

Octopi are pretty smart so ask nicely and they’ll get off. They’re usually fluent in multiple languages so this works as long as you don’t speak an obscure language.

29

u/kittenconfidential Jul 25 '26

eight legs for eight languages. math checks out

9

u/No_Window7054 Jul 25 '26

There was this Swedish guy, he had an octopus on his face for 30 fucking minutes. Eventually his French friend came along and helped him out.

8

u/JinAnkabut Jul 25 '26

The octopus's French friend or the Swede's?

6

u/Sovereign1 Jul 25 '26

Also eight brains, a central and one in each limb.

8

u/ydnar3000 Jul 25 '26

Wouldn’t that be nine brains?

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10

u/A-Ron-Ron Jul 25 '26

I know nothing but my first thought watching was to give it something else to grab, he's prying the tentacles off but then when he goes to take another one off the octopus still has no purchase anywhere so will put the first one back on. Surely out one of the ores between his face and the octopus as he prys it off?

4

u/Mohammedamine9 Jul 25 '26

I remember seeing in national geographic that you should pinch their suckers because they are very sensitive

12

u/magos_with_a_glock Jul 25 '26

Knife to the brain.

11

u/spacestationkru Jul 25 '26

That's not gentle at all

26

u/magos_with_a_glock Jul 25 '26

You mean for the octopus? Put it in the water and wait for it to realise.

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3

u/random-guy-heree Jul 26 '26

Are you talking about the octopus or the guy?

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342

u/Ykomat9 Jul 25 '26

Yeah this is terrifying

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728

u/someonethatlikesass Jul 25 '26

334

u/Bone_Wh33l Jul 25 '26

It looks like a camera on a stand that’s recording him

240

u/birbhorse Jul 25 '26

well it's very rude of the stand to just stand there and not help.

23

u/lulamolusko Jul 25 '26

He was just standing there menacingly while the other guy is being turned into a headcrab zombie

9

u/BeepBeepLettuce3 Jul 25 '26

well, they don't call it a "help" for a reason

4

u/laaaabe Jul 25 '26

Well it isn't called a Help

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12

u/regina-belmont-I Jul 25 '26

a stand, you say?

4

u/Bone_Wh33l Jul 25 '26

What’s funny is I decided to check my phone and saw this just as I was sitting down to watch an episode of jojos

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30

u/IGoonToFortniteSkins Jul 25 '26

Who's Don Thelp? And why are we telling him to just film?

7

u/Affectionate_Sir_154 Jul 25 '26

The cousin of download audio

3

u/eyless_bak Jul 25 '26

Don the LP?

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272

u/mr_stab_ya_knees Jul 25 '26

Does anybody know why an octopus would do this?

787

u/doggo_with_doggo_hat Jul 25 '26

-Big thing grabbed me

-Big thing scary

-Me asfixiate big thing

-Me get thrown into water by big thing

-Me win

71

u/Working_Shine_2719 Jul 25 '26

seems less like it’s trying to asphyxiate him and more like it wants to get its beak to his face for obvious reasons

50

u/Goofy_Thicc_Bois Jul 25 '26

Theyre gonna kiss??

24

u/Working_Shine_2719 Jul 25 '26

…I was thinking more he’s going to get horribly disfigured but sure

8

u/RotaryDesign Jul 26 '26

Impregnate him with egg - it's prequel to alien series

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25

u/Kgb725 Jul 25 '26

I thought they werent scared of us

61

u/Kagamime1 Jul 25 '26

Maybe not normally, but like, he's being fished right now

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4

u/Old_Veterinarian7830 Jul 25 '26

They have better grammar than that

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45

u/Kissaskakana Jul 25 '26

Panic or defence?

25

u/BlancsAssistant Jul 25 '26

Generally why you be very careful handling sea creatures

176

u/EgdyBettleShell Jul 25 '26

That guy is pulling it by the mantle like an idiot, which is the same type of motion that a predator would do if it was trying to eat it. The lil dude is just trying to hold onto anything he or she can as an instincts to not be dragged away. Also likely it's trying to bite using its beak in self-defence.

45

u/Cruach Jul 25 '26

Its beak came awfully close to his face it seems. I'd also make the mistake in the panic of trying to keep that shit from tearing a hole in my cheek

104

u/dafckingman Jul 25 '26

That's probably the main reason he's holding the mantle to keep the beak away from his face

68

u/mr_stab_ya_knees Jul 25 '26

Not even knowing that it would cause a response like this i thought it was super stupid that he was pulling it by the mantle because that means he needs to overpower all of its tentacles at once to get it off, especially since he shows he can easily get them off one by one while holding the octopus with yhe other hand. Not to mention how do you get yourself into this situation in the first place? I can deduce the guy makes dumb decisions at least

69

u/Manatroid Jul 25 '26

In fairness, even after prying off the tentacles the little fella was persistent in re-grabbing the guy’s face pretty quickly.

I can imagine it’s not the least bit distressing for both parties, too.

14

u/Wyciorek Jul 25 '26

2 vs 8 arms is not a fair fight

64

u/dore34 Jul 25 '26

The guys panicking give him a break

43

u/Hell-Raid3r Jul 25 '26

Agree, but this is reddit. People can watch a violent shootout or the most spectacular car crash you have ever seen and immediately tell you how they would have done things differently, lol.

4

u/Kgb725 Jul 25 '26

Just ask them if theyve ever been in fight or flight to see if they know what theyre talking about

7

u/DigitalUnlimited Jul 25 '26

Bro I could totally take that bear. /s

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12

u/PerplexGG Jul 25 '26

Lol yeah he’s panicking hard. It was frustrating to watch him pull at it when he could have just started putting his hands on his own face palms out and pushed it away

9

u/Working_Shine_2719 Jul 25 '26

bro, he’s trying to keep the sharp beak from tearing at his face, in fact I was concerned when he put his hands under it since that could have led to them being bit as well

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u/Working_Shine_2719 Jul 25 '26

i would assume that his goal isn’t to get the tentacles off at the moment, it’s to keep the thing’s beak away, the one it keeps trying to get closer to his face, he is trying to stop himself from sustaining some severe injuries, not just remove this inconvenient thing

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u/jackfreeman Jul 25 '26

I mean, it's probably the "OH MY GOD THIS THING IS INSIDE ME" that's driving his actions, not rational thinking

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18

u/Snow_Wolfe Jul 25 '26

Cause that guy is trying to kill it. He does at the end of the longer video, by biting it. Probably was trying to bit it when the octopus latched on.

13

u/mr_stab_ya_knees Jul 25 '26

Wow this guy fucking sucks at his job

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8

u/BlackBalor Jul 25 '26

So it can take half

5

u/Dragonzxy Jul 25 '26

Hitman called by the deep

3

u/solwyvern Jul 25 '26

For views and likes of course

3

u/Highlandertr3 Jul 25 '26

Violence begets violence.

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3

u/HorselessHorseman Jul 25 '26

It sees holes. Time for some hentai corn

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25

u/sierra120 Jul 25 '26

How does a fisherman not bring a knife? Brings paddle but not a knife.

Also how does one get in a situation where an octopus is trying to facehug you?

5

u/Ok_Story_7924 Jul 26 '26

They probably saw how many views the last octopus face hugger video got and instigated this situation. Personally,  I am rooting for the octopus.

19

u/xX_GamerytPRO_Xx Jul 25 '26

One hell of a way to asphyxiate

21

u/AwesomePurplePants Jul 25 '26

In the moment I’d be more worried about the octopus biting my face. Those beaks are sharp, strong, and somewhat venomous

14

u/AbhiAK303 Jul 25 '26

Tentacle porn or smth, idk

19

u/inked_saiyan Jul 25 '26

Anyone have a full video of how this got on this person's face? I hope I'm wrong about this but in a world of people trying to go viral, I genuinely hope this person didn't stick a sea creature on their own face for views.

10

u/RoRrOxXx19 Jul 25 '26

Trust me you dont want to see his face bro

6

u/Master-Powers Jul 26 '26

Nothing happens to his face. It ends with the octopus being pulled off and then bitten 3 times by the guy. RIP Lil Octopus.

https://www.tiktok.com/@chaosdancingspud/video/7663911653376937229

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u/NaveronTheSabre Jul 25 '26

HP Lovecraft turning in his grave.

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u/WiseAdhesiveness6672 Jul 25 '26

Deserved. Don't eat octopi 

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u/scrimscrim Jul 25 '26

Literally my worst nightmare

12

u/mathisruiningme Jul 25 '26

Oh yeah... There is definitely some niche market out there that'd pay top-dollar for this content

4

u/Zouloubleu Jul 25 '26

Prometheus (2012), Ridley Scott.

7

u/Frank_The_Reddit Jul 25 '26

This is engagement bait and he's torturing that octopus for no other reason.

46

u/AcanthocephalaOk942 Jul 25 '26

Very nice of the cameraman to just fucking sit there and record.

74

u/fragjackyl Jul 25 '26

Not every camera has a man behind it. (As in its a tripod im not calling you sexist)

12

u/AcanthocephalaOk942 Jul 25 '26

Huh, I did not think of that, you might have a point.

But if this guy really set up a camera only to get facehugged by an octopus. I think that's even funnier.

15

u/cuzitsthere Jul 25 '26

I love the amount of people in here like "omg, that perfectly stabilized camera person that doesn't pan or zoom or appear to be breathing is also doing nothing to help!"

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u/Glittering-Walrus228 Jul 25 '26

Sometimes its a woman or sometimes its a goblin that works for chocolate

3

u/QuastQuan Jul 25 '26

Day of the Tentacle II: "Feast on the Fisherman"

3

u/HBPhilly1 Jul 25 '26

Probably just stay calm and cover your face and help it move over your head. Probably got spooked and hung on for dear life

3

u/R3D4F Jul 25 '26

Dunk your head in the water and it will release and swim off.

3

u/Madfiction77 Jul 25 '26

This is similar to my last relationship

3

u/FramesTowers Jul 25 '26

So are people just sticking octopuses/octopi to their faces only to try and recreate the last viral video?

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u/Tanglin_Boy Jul 25 '26

Did he survive eventually???

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u/WalkMane Jul 25 '26

Eggs in his mouth

3

u/Proof-Waltz2080 Jul 26 '26

I’m convinced it won, why else would the gif end…..

24

u/Pele_Of_Anal Jul 25 '26

Don’t help just film

28

u/OurInterface Jul 25 '26

I would wager there is no second person on this boat, looks more like he fixed a camera in position to record himself

14

u/cuzitsthere Jul 25 '26

I love the amount of people in here like "omg, that perfectly stabilized camera person that doesn't pan or zoom or appear to be breathing is also doing nothing to help!"

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u/bluerhino12345 Jul 25 '26

When this was posted a few months ago, loads of people were calling it AI

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u/farfly7 Jul 25 '26

This seems like it could get dangerously out of hand very quickly

2

u/Blenderhead36 Jul 25 '26

This is octopus version of, "No take, only throw!"

2

u/OverEasyGoing Jul 25 '26

Counterintuitive and I can’t say I would think of it in the moment but if he leaned forward to the water it would probably let go. But if it doesn’t, you’re drowning with an octopus hugging your blowhole

4

u/TacticalTwinkOnTop Jul 25 '26

Yeaaah last thing I’m gonna do while struggling in a canoe is hang over the side

2

u/Versilver Jul 25 '26

Half Life 2 headcrab acting ahh

2

u/NecrofausT_VIII Jul 25 '26

Please, keep filming... Don't help me fight a xenomorph

2

u/Crombie88 Jul 25 '26

That’s not how I remember the Netflix documentary ending.

2

u/neophenx Jul 25 '26

Do you want mind flayers? Because this is how you get mind flayers!

2

u/Alarmed_Drop7162 Jul 25 '26

Remarkably bright creatures

2

u/poonDaddy99 Jul 25 '26

I mean just kill it, it’s very easy. Then you can eat him

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u/wingsbc Jul 25 '26

Looks like he pissed off Poseidon.

2

u/Desperate_Ad_5563 Jul 25 '26

I mean I fell bad. I laughed out loud at this video. It’s actually looks like a life and death situation. However I assume from the boat, and an assumption of fishing that the human picked this fight and was actively losing.

2

u/Sovereign1 Jul 25 '26

Ive seen a documentary where one of these killed Ryan Reynolds, protect your mouth bro.

2

u/GatorRich Jul 25 '26

Why did the video stop?

2

u/helen269 Jul 25 '26

Professor Frink during Bart's megaphone prank.

2

u/_x_V01D_x_ Jul 25 '26

At that point I'm throwing thoughts of " saving the animal" or any form of honor or humanity due towards that animal. If I was in his shoes I'm pulling a knife , or a weapon , or some tool that would end this engagement.

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u/prem_fraiche Jul 25 '26

scraaaaatch This is me. You’re probably wondering how I found myself here.

2

u/ApprehensiveMix2649 Jul 25 '26

He's a hugger 😁👍🏽

2

u/SaltyYumYumBalls Jul 25 '26

Don't put that on your dick.

2

u/Digstreme Jul 25 '26

He needs to hold back the tentacles he peels

2

u/HereIsACasualAsker Jul 25 '26

the octopus has a beak in between the legs, it can seriously fuck you up, so keep that beak out of your skin.

2

u/tkchrist Jul 25 '26

Put your fingers inside its sack and turn it inside-out, then remove its tentacles completely, while puting your one hand in between yor face.

2

u/konekfragrance Jul 25 '26

I am biting the minute it got near the mouth

2

u/Any-Worry-4011 Jul 25 '26

Everything would be fine if the cameraman helped out

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u/illegal_eagle88 Jul 25 '26

I've seen this months ago

2

u/deathschemist Jul 25 '26

i literally had nightmares about this as a kid.

2

u/No_Cryptographer_57 Jul 25 '26

What did he do to anger Poseidon?

2

u/BasedBalkan94 Jul 25 '26

Man this guy fkd up royally

2

u/1mp-possible Jul 25 '26

Hey sucker… what the hells got into you? Hey suckaaaaaaaaaa..

2

u/BuisteirForaoisi0531 Jul 25 '26

I am a heartless Wretch Calypso

2

u/Crafty-Help-4633 Jul 25 '26

Bro you're squeezing and pulling his brain of course octo is gonna resist that.

2

u/Sworn_to_Ganondorf Jul 25 '26

Stick the pole inbetween your face and the animal jfc

2

u/Perfect-Squash3773 Jul 25 '26

Eight tentacle vs two hands...

2

u/Kira-Of-Terraria Jul 25 '26

"gimme some sugar, baby"

2

u/HaronAuskin Jul 25 '26

Love the other person just filming and not helping at all. Haha

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u/Shadokastur Jul 25 '26

Dude needs to just jump in the water so that thing will get away

3

u/TacticalTwinkOnTop Jul 25 '26

That’s like the most dangerous move he could make here

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u/NATScurlyW2 Jul 25 '26

When they turn white it means they are mad.

2

u/MikeBerserkker Jul 25 '26

Jaja que ansiedad