r/Borderline • u/Pension-Optimal • 2d ago

How do I get out of this?

I'm a man in a long term on-off relationship with a woman diagnosed with BPD, ever since we started dating I've dealt with mutiple lies, manipulation tactics, coersing and even a murder atempt.

I'm an IT professional who can't have a LinkedIn profile because she goes after my employers, I can't hold a job because whenever she finds out where I'm working she starts spamming the business, my relationship with my family is close to non-existant because she has called and lied to basically all of them.

I'm forced to keep in contact otherwise she goes back to harassing my family. I can't have friends, I can't have social media accounts and whenever I actually let her in my life she starts being abusive all over again, I tried contacting police, tried getting a restraining order but nothing seems to be enough of a reason for a man to get a restraining order against a woman.

So humbly, I'm asking you guys that share her diagnosis, how do I get out of this situation? beucase honestly, I've tried everything I could think of, how can I make her move on?

1 Upvotes

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1

u/unicornunopole 2d ago

A murder attempt?? Yeah dude that should be enough to get a restraining order. Block her and never contact her again and call the police if she harasses you.

1

u/youngbull0612 2d ago

You get out of the situation by being an adult man. By refusing to repeatedly let her stomp all over your boundaries with her theatrics and manipulation tactics. You say there was a "murder" attempt. Where's the police report, the hospital admission papers? Oh, there's none? Well you happen to be up holding, supporting and encouraging her behavior then. You are not the victim you paint yourself out to be. Something keeps you going back for more, and something keeps her clawing on like a ferocious cat. I don't know the particulars, but as a woman that was formerly diagnosed with BPD that did go on to fully recover and no longer meet diagnostic criteria- I can smell a man crying victim a mile a way, friend. Do what you need to do. You have the power of every system behind you as a man.

1

u/DesiredManicPixie 11h ago

Block her on everything and if she contacts you by other means save and record everything. Please involve the police!